December 07, 2006

>> Office Gremlin

[ Boss ]

Bingo writes...

"What a fabulous outlet. I am happy to have this place because although I tend to rant to on my personal blog-this place makes me feel, I don't know, less alone in the petty game of Office Politics many of us must put up with.

I work exclusively and in close quarters with two other ladies. One is my Office Manager and the other is in charge of finances.

My OM-Office Manager-is a tiny little gremlin of a woman who runs around the office frantically picking at every detail humanly possible. I am able to deal with this when it has to do with cardstock but she jumps the line when she starts asking about my personal life and criticizing me while trying to manipulate my behavior that has nothing to do with work.

"People have said you have low energy and I agree-yesterday you seemed upbeat and boy that was nice!"

"Are you eating enough? Why don't you go to lunch now?" if I fail to leave at 12pm on the dot. "Come on, we're going home now" as she flicks off the light at the end of the day and expects me to jump to whenever she decides to go home. "Come on, we're going to Sam's club to pick up supplies." Not asking-blatantly telling me as if I am her little apprentice-there is no way I want to be doing what she is doing now let alone twenty years from now. Managing how reports look is not my idea of a challenging or good life learning experience. Anal people pick mundane jobs where they can keep control of that one little corner office of their life. The world is too scary to do things differently or God forbid-casually. She sees this as a life or death experience-the everyday project list. I cannot imagine her hostility if a document didn't arrive to the client on time.

And in regards to my fine typing skills she exclaims: "Take a typing class-this is a requirement-not an option."

I needed no instruction in Excel but she said "Take an Excel class-look up what you can do and go to one" wasting her money and making me happy not to be in work for a day anyway.

"Have you thought about going back to your hometown? Do you have any friends here beside your boyfriend?"(I just moved about a year ago)

I think what she fails to understand is that I do not want her input on my life unless its for company review. When I got my photo taken for the website the first few weeks I was there she said "Now button that top button-look professional now". She's like the mother I never wanted.

And she doesn't make me feel half as bad as the President who, when he decides to grace us with his presence, usually shoots down every idea, ignores you when you speak with him, and expects me(who is not his assistant) to take phone messages on specific notepads in a specific way that I will never get right no matter how much I try-and I have been here for 8 months.

They pulled a bait and switch when I got here because I thought most of my work would be Marketing and most of my work is turning out to be "office bitch". I have four bosses-My OM Gremlin, my President-Jerko, His wife the vice prez. and the regional Vice Prez.

They all need things all the time and I have to cater to them equally. All 4 of them. When they aren't travelling and they are physically in the office-I have no duties of my own-suddenly I am a waitress all over again catering to each individual-all while answering the phone that my President yells at me about every time I interrupt his email writing and lunchtime schmoozing. But if I fail to give him the message then I am ind eeper trouble than all of the above.

I hate dimwits and I hate ignorance. Why do we treat eachother like this?"
01:00 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

October 30, 2006

>> Short Guy

[ Boss ]

Anonymous writes...

"I work with this new manager at a music store.

He came in a couple of weeks ago and already has all of our staff crying for leaving. First of, he used to manage a sporting good store, and he knows nothing about music, zip, its embarrasing that I have to cover my manager's ass when a costumer asks him for music and he does not know what he's talking about. Second, he is rude, Once I was having my lunch break in the office, he comes in and farted, it completely killed my appetite and I just threw out my food and walked away. Third, he's very coincited, he works out constantly and is always telling us how "great" and smart he is, when really, anyone can beat his ass (you should've seen him almost cry when this costumer was yelilng at him for being an idiot). Fourth, he's a liar and lazy, last week he told us he was gonna be at the store until 4am because there was things to do and to make us feel bad about us, I went to the movie theathre to watch a movie and came back out at 1am, the lights were off and his car wasn't there...funny huh, Also once he said he was coming in at 5am and me and my other co worker were working the graveyard shift in the back, we were supposed to work till 3 but decided to stay until 5:30, no signs of him yet....but on the log he wrote down he was there at 4:30.

It only took me a couple of weeks to make a character sketch of him, first, he has small guy syndrome, he is only 5'3 and works out constantly which probably means that he's just scared of us, the taller inoffensive guys in the back, and thats why he may be always talking about how he beat up some guys. and second, he's a corporate bitch, he doesn't have a mind of his own (or balls of his own, cause the stock holders hold those) so he believes in our corporation too much and takes his job too far, his superiors aren't always happy with him so he takes it out on us by being an asshole.

ps. other than the farting thing, he hasn't done anything directly at me, BUT, he talks bad aobut my other co workers (who happen to be my good friends, and i wont keep them from knowing what he;s saying)so, not only is he an dickhead but he's also an idiot, im so getting another job!"

01:00 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

October 26, 2006

>> No respect/ I raised the bar to high

[ Boss ]

Victim of the bosses wife writes...

"I work for a company that is seasonal in that most of our money is made at Easter, Xmas, and Thanksgiving. Last March my boss transfered me from my store due to the fact that he felt the employees would no longer respect me because of some major personal/medical issues I was going through and they knew about them so he felt their respect was gone.

Being transfered from the busiest store to the slowest store has been a challenge, but once again I have worked my magic of educating the staff on haow to get the sales, and going over and beyond for the customer. In fact since I took it over every month the sales have been up over last year.

My boss does bot attribute this to me but to the fact that they opened a new grocery store down the street a block away.

Thanksgiving comes and we are up 81% in sales over last year, and 350% up in our dinner sales.The store I was at previously was down in sales. Yet my boss sits me down and informs me I am not giving a 100% and that I am hiding when it gets busy. His wife works for me, and she is in charge when I am gone, when I asked for examples he refused to give them to me but said he did not want to talk about it right now.

Once again the idiot goes down the respect road as to the employees do not respect me because I asked an opinion about something to my employees. Though I know all of his wifes personal issues and many of his personal issues.Like the fact that she had to tell him to wear deodarant.

Christmas comes and we again are up my brilliant boss says to me I raised the bar to high for the previous store he didn't think they were going to make the sales goal that I had done last year. When I shook my head and said I wont go there right now he simply said each store has it's problems and walked away.

Just wait till I call the personal dept and complain."

01:00 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

October 16, 2006

>> Pitting them against each other

[ Boss ]

AnotherEngineer writes...

"Will do my best to make this brief:

I worked for years below an imbecile who became our COO by taking credit for my accomplishments. I suffered it for years because I was assured he was "taking me with him" and the CEO loved him, so I figured this was my best path. Needless to say once he made it he became paranoid about me "exposing" his real skills and set to work moving me around the company.

He moves me to be supervised by a new hire who, lo and behold, promises the exact same thing. I know better this time around, but I let him think I'm playing along.

The new hire is put in place to do the COO's former job. Naturally there is a good bit of friction as each of these geniuses debate the "proper way" of evaluating, measuring and managing the department, but they keep it as cool as possible.

A couple months ago I get an assignment by the new hire to change the way some things are calculated in one of the company's reporting packages dealing with production. Mind you, this is the package the COO created (he dictated, I programmed) and he's very proud of it. He ran me through months of changes before he was satisfied with the initial rollout - including things like font choices and the like.

So I make the changes and innocently copy the COO on the followup email stating that "I've revised everything according to your (new hire's) specifications and all the errors should be corrected".

It has the exact effect I hoped. The COO is not fond of being told he did it the wrong way. The new hire is indignant when the COO comes to correct him. As of today, a two month Email war is still going on over this. I have seen them in heated exchanges behind closed doors and each of them keeps trying to "partner up" with me to show the other one up.

Revenge is sweet."

01:00 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

October 09, 2006

>> The ranting old lady

[ Boss ]

E.D. writes...

"I know this isn't work but its close enough. I have this french teacher , lets call her Mrs. Day. She is the most unproffessional , rude , and if you want to say it, abusive.

She doesn't pick favourites - but she does pick lesat favourites. My best friend and her have hated each other since day 1. If he asks someone to use their pencil or eraser or whatever , she'll rant to the whole class about him never been prepared even though he is prepared about 3/4 the time.

Next, if you want to ask a question about a qord you don't know in private since maybe most the class knows (as in she comes over to you or you walk over to here) , she'll ask the entire class what it means.

Then, somedays 1 person will be talking to the person next to then and she'll go on this 20 minute lecture on why you should talk , which doesn't piss me off as much as what she does nnext , she turns around and says in these exact words: "and because you can't keep your mouth shut , we had to waste all this time" . Ehem , if I'm not mistaken we didn't ask for a presedential speech.

Then there are her odd sayings, sometimes its the examples that get me mad. For example this is her speech for things that are accident: "If you're throwing snowballs and you throw one at your friend and it hits a girl thats walking down the street , its not an accident because it could have been prevented" to this I say 3 things:

1. Why couldn't the girl have gone on the other side of the street

2. I'm pretty sure the definition of an accident is something around , not meant to happen.

3. If you're for example trying to get some on a paintball game (trying not to be violent), and you're friend is right beside them, and you accidentally hit your friend, that was and accident yet it could have been prevented by hitting the other person , not shooting , waiting and getting hit yourself.

Also , Mrs. Day can never admit she is wrong. Plain and simple , no example needed.

I hope many people read this and learn that french isn't fun."

01:00 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

October 05, 2006

>> Do I slap her now or later?

[ Boss ]

Mee Moo writes...

"Here is my random dribble about my so say "Boss".

I work for a Financial Advisors in England, Im not an actual advisor as Im training at the moment. So as it stands Im basically admin. It's a bit confusing but I work in a company within a company and there is only 5 of us that work in the smaller company.

Now the people I work with are great, funny and good to chat to. But. I work with my sister-in-law. Ive never liked her in the 10 years she has been married to my brother. She is kind of like the wicked step mother in Snow White but in the form of a sister-in-law. She is co-directer of the smaller company so she is partly my boss. I was hired to start with to become an understudy of my collegue, lets call her Faye.

Usually Faye comes in around 10am as she works later so in the morning I tend to sort out all her work for the day and take her phonecalls yadda yadda. Now my sister-in-law is a very bossy woman. Very bossy. She loves the sound of her own voice and is a huge gossip.

The problem I have is she is now trying to take over from Faye and give me her work to do. I don't mid so much doing other peoples work as I do tend to get through my work quite fast. But it's really crap things, such things like phone 20 companies on values of clients invesments. I know it sucks but it has to be done but what really gets up my nose is that she regular asks me to do errands for her because "she can't be arsed to get off her seat" that is her actual words!!

So I do her little errands and because I was out of the office she says to my real boss (the main director of the company) "were going to have to cut down on her pay - she is out of the office a lot"

I try not to scream and throw things at her. It's hard believe me. But the worse irrating thing is that she gives me letter to do and she proof reads it and then hands the letter back so i re-type and so on. This usually goes on about 10 times for one letter. I know she is only doing it to get up my nose so I try rise above it. Try being the operative word.

Now it's really getting tough as she has taken into slagging off my family and I have to sit there listening to how she "hates her mother-in-law" knowing full well I can hear her and she is talking about my mum! I know if I say anything to her I won't stop until Im blue in the face so for now Im gritting my teeth and ignoring her. But one more step out of line I will smack her around the face and boy would it feel good!!"

01:00 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

October 02, 2006

>> My VP is a fucking toddler

[ Boss ]

whitecollarfrenchcuffs writes...

"My VP...we'll just call her BRAT, is such a fucking toddler. She is marginalized by her abrasive personality; her complete lack of management capabilities; and her inability to effectively articulate anything, either written or verbal. It was terribly embarrassing today to be on a conference call with her, and to listen to a number of people on the call digress into a technological issue, about which she has no understanding. Her beady little eyes and arthritic hands clenched together as I could see her angst in losing control of the call. She then yelled, "Can I ask a question!" But, it was not a request. Others ignored her and continued to digress. She then started yelling something incomprehensible, and said "I'd like to ask a question! I'm talking now!"

I cringed because I was so embarrassed for her, and equally to be embarrassed as a part of her "group." In her actions, she portrayed herself as the little girl who hoards toys and who doesn't play fair, and as a result, no one would play with her.

It's terribly frustrating because I have no confidence in her leadership/management capabilities, and I see no upward mobility for myself as a result. She is a micro-manager and as a result, projects that could be streamlined are carried over vast periods of time, often never completed.

I wish she were my peer, so I could do some sort of anonymous "review" of her. She totally blows ass. She needs a reality check. She operates like some warped culture of the 80s. Give me a break. I have to find another job. I do the minimum to appear I am productive...there is little oversight (save her micromanaging when she can stop talking about herself). If I were a psychiatrist, I would definitely diagnose her with histrionic personality disorder.

Thank God I found this site. There are others who work with idiots too. Corporate America just blows. I'm incredibly disenchanted with it. I no longer seek to plunge in headlong, working my way up some non-existent ladder, only to reach a cement ceiling.

Maybe tomorrow I'll talk about our "cubicle reconfiguration initiative...""

01:00 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

September 18, 2006

>> My letter of Resignation

[ Boss ]

IM OUTTA HERE writes...

"Dear Employer,

As an employee of an organization spending 100'S of 1000'S of dollars in Federal Funds, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that you have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself and my co-workers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the true genetic wastes of our time. Someone call NEWSWEEK MAGAZINE!

Asking me, to explain every little nuance of everything I do 9 months to a year after I have started it, each time you happen to realize that you do not know what the hell is going on, is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of my precious oxygen, in lieu of the fact that either you can't

frigging hear or you have the mental comprehension of 3 day old road kill.

I was hired because I know what the hell I am doing, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to this network, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste' or here's a good one 'Ctrl-V" for the hundredth time. You will never understand, you can't! Something as incredibly simple as 'SAVE' still gives you too many options, that I am incessantly required to explain to your stupid, idiotic, retarded ass at every turn.

You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what a static IP address is or explain evolution; a theory and process that obviously skipped you. Your shiny new Dell with a flat screen monitor and DVD player has more personality than you ever will. And scarier yet is the fact that it has more human like intelligence, despite your 20,000 hours of internet 'Solitaire and Hearts' play. You walk around your building ¾ of the day, shiftlessly looking for fault and failure in others only to slouch back to your office to forward a few 100 hoaxes and 'Friend Sends', which make you feel really good about yourself for their informational/up-lifting messages (IDOIT)! You have a sharp dressed hillbilly, useless look about you that obviously worked for your interview 20 years ago. But now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked, under-paid staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are no higher in the chain than the fungus under a toe nail. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle and a direct cause of attacks in the work place. Your ass has more sense regarding what to spew than your mouth.

Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy or a severe ass kicking (both of which I have considered providing you), I am forced to tender my resignation.

Thank you for entertaining my few parting thoughts."

01:00 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

September 14, 2006

>> Wasters of Time and usual Politics

[ Boss ]

Government Bullshit writes...

"Wow, imagine this a government story!

So basically there are 4 managers 4 specalists and 1 director.

Just a litttttttle top heavy. Most of the managers, well, they take forever to make a decision and suffer from "paralysis analysis". Except for one. She just likes to make you the statue to her pigeon act. She is never clear,but says that she is. She lies that she has given documents that she never has provided. She will even poison and interrupt conversations by shouting or describing how your skills aren't required.

and then she will not only edit your work, but continually edit it. She will suggest one wording, you cross it out, then she will change the whole sentence by the third revision. What a waste of freaking time.

An example..she debated between using "transparent" and "clear" for 3 revisions, and then decided to scrap the word all together...on the 5 revision. Pure government bureaucratic bullslip.

Of course everyone notices these things with her, but no calls her on this stuff. Why, you may ask? Because since she's been there 20 years, she knows everyone, so she's seen as a valuable resource.

I'm ready to cut to another job in 4 months, and when anyone asks, I can only say this: Managers are not leaders, and if you wish to be a manager, you better realize how to interact with people and get results.

Unfortunately, I have to figure out how to deal with this schmuck for my performance update. Time to kiss ass a bit."

01:00 AM - Posted by Disgruntled