July 30, 2005

>> Mr. Huffy

[ Work ]

Chinamay writes...

"I work in a public library in fairly large city. Everyone who works at the library seems to be mentally unstable, except for me of course. I worked with a woman for four years and the first two years of that time we were very close, and worked well together, but the two years after paradise, she turned on me like I'd done something to her. I mean she cut me off at the knees, I had no desk, no phone etc.....so I finally got transferred to another department within the library. I was so relieved to get away that I almost danced into work every morning. It all started out nice, everyone was friendly, then all of a sudden, people stopped speaking to me, when I asked one co worker if I'd done something to offend her, she replied that I must be paranoid. Okay, I know people don't want to bother sometimes, I am also a loner and I am cordial, but not looking to fit into any kind of clicque, so I may seem aloof to some people......the head of the department, Mr. Huffy (not his real name) was swell in the beginning also. but all of a sudden when I would come into work, he would avert his eyes, when I spoke to him he pretended not to hear me etc....so, I stopped speaking to him as well, I figured he wasn't a morning person so Id leave him alone. He came to my desk weeks into this greeting stand off and began wringing and shaking his hands and huffing and puffing and asked me, what's the problem? I just spoke to you and you acted like I did't exist.....I looked him straight in the eye and said, are you kidding? You haven't responded to my greetings for weeks and now because YOU feel slighted it's a big deal? He told me that perhaps he had not heard me say good morning, hello etc....and mumbled on about something else...i cut him off and said let's not do this to each other, when I come in and speak to you I expect a response, just like you would.....If there is a problem, then we need to talk it out and move on from there. This may not seem like a huge deal to anyone but me, but management tend to act as though they are privileged characters and that is a pet peeve for me. Thanks for letting me share"

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 29, 2005

>> Mr. FICA

[ Fools ]

RuffestRoad writes...

"This isn't a rant and I'm actually smiling as I'm posting this...this "babe in the woods" had a lot to learn:

I process timecards for about 130 employees and I used to have to distribute the checks until we went to a new system. One payday, a new employee was scrutinizing her highly coveted first check stub and was shocked to see a deduction for FICA. Instead of asking what is FICA, she asked me, "Who is this Mr. Fica? I didn't authorize him to take any money from my check."

Without cracking a smile, I politely explained to her what FICA is and to not feel singled out..."he" has his hand in all of our checks!"

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 28, 2005

>> Auditory Dyslexia

[ Boss ]

Triumphant at last writes...

"I worked as a secretary for a very insecure paralegal in a law firm. Everything I did and said as a personal affront and a personal attack. She was convinced that I was out to get her job -- a thankless piece of crap job that no one in their right mind would want. She would bring me assignments and this is an actual conversation we had:

HER: Here are three files, I have tapes with each one and I want the one on top first and then the next one and then the next one.

ME: Okay, sure, I will get right on the first one and then do the next one and the next one.

HER: I SAID I wanted the first one, are you TRYING to get cute with me?

ME: No, I said I would do just what you asked me to do.

HER: Shoots me dirty look and tromps off. Calls her buddy the office manager and my "insubordination" goes in my file.

Her work was dreadful, her command of the English language terrifyingly inadequate, her grammar appalling and when she'd dictate, she couldn't read words of more than about 2 syllables. She was trying to dictate summaries of depositions of people in medical malpractice cases and her mangling of the words was simply unbelievable. I was in the sad situation of "do I correct her or not?" There was no right answer. If I corrected her, then I was trying to act like I was better than her and she would quickly react. But if I didn't correct her, her boss would react with scathing comments and she'd blame me.

Eventually she and her buddy the office manager (who never liked me and was someone from my rank who had been promoted from within and was way out of her depth) cooked up a scheme to get rid of me. I had been there longer than anyone else and the attorneys respected me. This must never be allowed to continue.

A couple months later, a pair of uniformed workmen came and put a ladder in the hallway directly outside my cubicle and started removing a VCR and a camera from the ceiling over my desk. They said the company didn't pay their bill so they were removing the equipment. That explained why I'd been ordered to go on an early lunch a month or so earlier and had a new and strange looking air conditioning grid in the ceiling above my desk. It also explained why every time someone would stop by my desk and chat, my phone would ring and the office manager would tell me to get back to work. The company officially denied that there had been security cameras although I saw them, as did all my coworkers.

A friend who'd left the office had told me that my paralegal bragged about how she and the office manager had been watching me on camera and were reading all my emails -- which were no big deal and mostly my in-box was cluttered with urban legends and prayer wheel chain letters from the paralegal. So I'd taken to writing emails to a couple of friends about how much I loved the place, how hard the attorneys worked and how I loved my job, hoped I was working hard enough and my friends had been writing back playing along. There was nothing they could attack. They couldn't take these to their superiors as they were too full of praise of them and how hard they worked and how lucky I was to work there. Amazingly, they didn't seem to catch on to that.

The day of the Christmas lunch, I was called in as soon as I returned to my desk by the office manager. Because of my repeated "bad attitude" and insubordination, I was being placed on immediate final "last chance" probation. She said the managing partner had wanted me fired on the spot as he was tired of them dealing with me but that because it was Christmas she had convinced him to give me probation. One more incident and I would be terminated. Merry Christmas.

I got engaged at New Years and was called in by the office manager and told that she had better not hear that I had slacked off work to talk about my engagement to my coworkers.

The following day the office manager was finally fired for incompetence and a new office manager (an actual trained person with the skills for the job) was hired. A few days later, the paralegal called me in. She said she had been authorized by the managing partner to ask me the following questions and record my answers. Did I agree that I had been rude and insubordinate to her many times; that I had misused the company email; that I made too many personal phone calls; that my work was substandard; that I had misused company sick time? I disagreed with all of this. She ended it by saying she would report her "findings" to the managing partner and I could expect to be fired shortly. Too bad for me that I would have a firing on my record. I would probably not get unemployment, either.

I took my lunch hour and went to the hotel across the street and used the pay phone to call my mother and my fiancé. My mother agreed that I should probably quit that day and not allow them to fire me and make me look bad on the record. My fiancé said the only way I should quit is if I went directly to this managing partner and did it and told him why I was quitting.

I returned to work and emailed the managing partner and asked to see him immediately. He said he couldn't fit me in for a couple of days and I replied back that that would not be good enough because this was about what he had said about me. He replied back instantly that he had never said anything about me and ordering me to come to his office right then and as I arrived he was on the phone telling the receptionist to have his clients wait, he would be delayed. When I explained why I was there and that the paralegal had told me that I was being fired on his orders due to one more incident on the "last chance probation" he had put me on, he was stunned! He said that ever since the old office manager left, the paralegal had been to him daily wanting to talk about me and he had continually referred her to the new office manager. The new office manager was called in and after spending a few minutes bringing her up to date, the managing partner left for his client meeting. She was very sympathetic, astonished to learn that I thought I was on probation as there was NOTHING in the personnel file about this and the managing partner did NOT know anything about it. It had clearly been a plot by the old office manager and the paralegal to get me scared into quitting. As I was very upset, she told me to take the rest of the day off and not to worry, my job was safe.

The next morning, bright and early, the managing partner and the new office manager descended on the paralegal and cornered her in her office. The door was closed but loud angry voices could be heard. The partner was there for 20 minutes but the new office manager was there for another hour. The paralegal stayed in her office for the rest of the morning and emerged, red-eyed about noon to quietly apologize to me.

My request for a transfer the following week was instantly granted and the paralegal was heard to say that she had been given the word that she should look for another job and soon left the office. At last count, I heard she'd been fired from 2 jobs and was now trying to start a paralegal from home business that wasn't doing so well."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 27, 2005

>> How Stupid ARE you, anyway?

[ Fools ]

Celtic Red writes...

"I work with some very INTELLIGENT people, let me tell you! We live and work in a state that borders the Mason-Dixon line. One of my co-workers (who has lived in this state all her life) asked "where is the Mason-Dixon line?" I almost fell off my chair! These are the same people who couldn't figure out why the ingredients list on Extra Strength Tylenol were the same as regular Tylenol. "What's the difference?" one asked. "It must be the inactive ingredients." replied another."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 26, 2005

>> Backstabbing Coworkers

[ Work ]

Anonymous writes...

"I just started this job 4 weeks ago. Mind you it's a part time job paying $12/hr. at a real estate firm. There are 4 brokers and an office manager and me - a part-time research assistant. I work for 4 brokers (men) doing research for them. Each broker gets me for one day out of the week and Friday's are my catch up days. I've worked for big corporations and for people in much higher levels than these idiots. The first week on board these 4 brokers proceeded to tell me they hoped I was more intelligent than the previous girl in my position. They badmouthed her and when each one is alone with me they badmouth each other! One in particular is this young broker who came on strong criticizing every thing I do for him. Then he complains I don't work for him on Fridays, etc. He's always hovering over me or hiding around the corner listening in on my conversations. He'll pop up in my office and say "I heard that!". I cannot stand him - he wanted his friend to be hired for my job so he's making my life hell. The other brokers are worthless and have personal problems and are just freaks. The office manager is the only halfway decent person there but even she has severe personal problems. I've worked with some pretty weird coworkers before but this place takes the cake. There is no leadership and these brokers seemed obsessed with every little thing I do. I have excellent skills but they feel the need to criticize everything I do. I came unglued and told them I didn't need this job - I'd walk out in a heartbeat but they were unphased. I've never met a more dysfunctional office - these people backstab each other and plot ways to undermine each other. Right now they're plotting to get one guy fired. The head broker spends his day on the phone fending off collection agencies and one broker gets 50 calls on his cell phone all day long from his live in girlfriend (what can anyone possible talk about in 50 phone calls?). I have to listen to him call her pookie or snookums - then they go to lunch for two hours. I'm trying to last one more week and get a final paycheck but this place has such a negative atmosphere - I go home drained every day and it's just a part-time job! Why are some offices filled with such lunatics? I swear a cloud of doom hangs over this office - these people hate each other and being a new employee they have no respect at all for me. I feel no matter what I do (or anyone else who does my job) will please these psychos. It's appalling how some people feel the need to belittle others to gain control over them. I can't wait until the day I hightail it outta there. I hate this job."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 25, 2005

>> Paper Thief

[ Boss ]

Non-paper stealer writes...

"I have a supervisor that is obsessed with paper consumption in our office. I think her life must be pretty dull since she has time to dwell on this. She was pretty much hinting that she felt I was swiping the paper as I work a shift in which there are no other employees or supervisors around. In order to either pin it on me or genuinely find out where the paper is going she made up a checklist in which we are to mark down when and where the paper is going. I figured that would be the end of it since it would be obvious as to where the paper being used. That wasn't the end of it. She is still suspicious about the paper consumption and again today approached me about it, wondering why only so many packs of paper were being accounted for. She failed to note that we have 2 lists on the go and did not add the two together. Also, she failed to let 6 employees know about the list system so those workers were not marking down when they used paper. Once I pointed this out to her she kind of laughed about it. I can tell this is not the end of the paper drama though. The quality of paper we use is not even that great. If I stole some paper (which I would not!) it would have to be a little more special than the stuff we have here."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 24, 2005

>> The Banker Who Graduated From Theatrical College

[ Boss ]

Anonymous writes...

"I recently quit my job of 6 yrs. from a local Bank. Understand this Bank is Small~ Very Small 9 Branches to be exact. Oh but how they want to be a BIG Bank..Unfortunately they keep the small minded people who have been with them sincen the beginning and unfortunately have no desire to grow.

I came from a Huge Bank prior to this job, so I know the mentality and what is necessary to achieve the Standard they were looking for.

My Manager, was a 52 year old hypocritical, liar and trouble maker. The biggest claim to fame is the fact that she is a College graduate. I agree totally that is to be commended, however....how does Graduating from Theatre School make you the most wonderful of Bankers? Seems to me if you have theatre in your Blood you have no place what so ever in Banking.

This women was one of the Best actresses I have ever met, the whole time she pretends to be your friend...she is coniving and talking behind your back. In one breathe she complains about the NEW things the Bank is doing then her Boss calls and all of a sudden those things all become wonderful ideas. She kisses Butt like I have never seen before, just unbelieveable.

There are many stories that go along with this actress....the best I can say is that I pity anyone who should ever have to work with her or that Small minded Bank. As for me...I left, used my four weeks accrued time giving me a full month off, and now I am off to begin a whole new career in Computer Technology as a Technical Support Person for Credit Unions. At a huge increase of pay I might add.

Yes, "The Actress" Plays a part, but I am wondering what might become of her when the curtain closes for her. That small Bank I told you about is about to be SOLD ... it will take an Academy Award actress to get through that transition. Good luck to her!!!! NOT I feel a Hyatis coming on for the Actress."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 23, 2005

>> God Complex

[ Boss ]

Cristabelle writes...

"I recently quit work at the worst job I have ever had in my life. Luckily for me, it was a second job. Not so fortunate are the college students, etc. that are still there. This place is a comedy club and boy, if I hadn't gotten so jacked, I would be laughing now.

Let's see, where to begin. End of first day of work (training), the two other waitresses and I (all hired together) were told that we would not be paid for the five hours we had just done. Well, two of us kicked up a fit and the boss/owner, 'Pete', coughed up $20 in cash (totally illegal). The work was split between hand helds (people who took orders on computers from here on out known as HH) and runners (who actually took drinks out). All tickets had 15% added to them and, if people were too stupid to look at their bill, they sometimes added an extra tip.

Screwed Royally #1 - the tips were split between the bar staff, runners and HH. Bar staff when I first started got 5%. Management (term loosely used) then raised that to 10%. Mean the remaining 5% was split between HH and runners. So, 2.5% left for the HH. Nice.

Screwed Royally #2 - Guys could wear casual three button golf type shirts. Girls had to wear men's tuxedo shirts with bow ties. We were also supposed to purchase a vest with our own money! When I started they made us buy black shirts and a tie. Jacked again.

Screwed Royally #3 - On Wed and Thurs nights, we had very small crowds (20 to 30 people). But 'Pete' would make all 5 HH and 4 runners come in. Which meant we got hardly any tips and had to stay all night!

Screwed Royally #4 - 'Pete' would be watching us all night to see if we were standing around. Well, let me tell you, if you pay $25 a ticket to get in, you don't want me walking in front of you every two minutes asking if you want an overpriced, watered down cocktail. That's what 'Pete' was yelling at us to do. 'Pete' would then sit in the bar and get drunk and abuse us as we walked to the bar for something.

Screwed Royally #5 - 'Pete' called us contractors meaning he paid no taxes, SS or FICA for us. But every night, if we didn't claim tips on the computer it would then automatically claim $100. My first check for 28 hours at $2.13 ph was forty-one cents. Yep, you read it right. 'Pete' said it was because the computer was claiming $100 in tips for every shift (even Weds and Thurs!). This being illegal as he couldn't claim our tips if he wasn't paying our taxes.

Screwed Royally #6 - One 19 yr old girl who worked there was cute with a nice figure but sooooo stupid. Well, she always got the best sections (when she bothered to show up). If others didn't show up on time or at all we would get written up. Not Princess 'Merissa'. Ever.

I could go on forever but I will leave it at this...once the Dept of Labor find out what he's up to, he will be done for. The Health Dept will close the kitchen down, the IRS will demand all his records (two books, if you know what I mean), and the TABC will take his liquor licence (for serving all those underage employees of his alcohol).

Life is sweet."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 22, 2005

>> Secret Shrink

[ Fools ]

Corporate Tool writes...

"Man, will life always be this difficult?

I'm off of my hellish schedule and I'm back to my good ol' 45 hour work week with a 10-15 hour a week drive time that I've come to expect (and loath). So I'm kinda(?) happy about going back to work next week. I got a lot of kudos from my GM last week and TOTALLY showed up my arch-nemesis/work-buddy!

I've been thinking a lot about something I heard at our district meeting a few weeks ago. Apparently, there may be a store opening up near where I live and their may also be a "Closed-door" facility opening up in Atlanta in 2005. I really would love either one of the positions (mostly the "closed-door" facility) and I hope I get one of 'em. I sure as hell am going to try.

Is there anyone out there that hates to talk to co-workers about their (let alone my) personal issues? A few of my associates have come to think of me as their "Sounding-board" or their "Confidant" and I really can't stand it. God, don't they understand that I can barely keep my head wrapped around my own issues let alone deal with theirs? I guess it's a good thing that these people trust me but damn, I just want to be left alone to work! I know that this part sounds cold but the problem is that I am a very empathetic person and if I "Care" about a person's problems then it could compromise any decisions I make about work. I was instilled with a extremely strong work-ethic and I feel that anything that could come between success and me should be cast aside. Have I lost my soul?"

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 21, 2005

>> We shouldn't do that!

[ Boss ]

Pegleg Pete writes...

"I worked as systems administrator for a complete and utter fool at a law firm. This guy called himself a "computer specialist" and even had brochures printed that touted his computer expertise. Yet he BARELY knew what a computer was. This wouldn't have worked but for the fact that his cohorts, the other attorneys, were even dumber than he was. The best description of that syndrome I ever ran across was the saying "in the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king."

So we got a computer network on the Doofus' recommendation. This was about 1992 so it wasn't anything as modern as the networks today. He said we needed to network because we needed to have email capabilities. Just inter-office email, internet email was too new and not even considered. So we networked. Then when it came down to the end, they found out that to buy the licenses and have network versions of the software, which was needed for us to be able to have email, would cost $1,200 more. So the Doofus made the decision that we would then NOT get the network version and he ordered me to borrow the stand-alone version of the software from the office of my friend who worked in a nearby office. I complied and eventually wrote a Word Perfect Macro that accessed a DOS command and ran a Novell Network broadcast message that you could customize. It was like an inter-office instant message. Forever after the Doofus called this "our email system."

It gets worse. One day, he went to a bar association seminar on computer piracy and came back all pumped up on this new knowledge. He marched straight to my desk to announce to me that he had learned about computer piracy and "it is a bad thing". He said "We have to make sure we never do that." I was momentarily stunned and then said "But we do that all the time" and I explained the things we'd been doing that he personally had ordered me to do (buying one copy of software and installing it on all 35 computers, borrowing software from other law firms, etc.) I said "If we did any more of this, I'd have to have a patch on my eye and a parrot on my shoulder." The sad thing is, I don't know for sure that he really understood it.

Not long after that, our network crashed briefly and I had to reset it all and I had the receptionist page everyone that they needed to reboot their computers. Guess who called me to see what that meant? You guess it, the DOOFUS!!!"

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 20, 2005

>> Software Engineer

[ Boss ]

Anonymous writes...

"The last lawfirm I worked at was run by a very cheap and VERY stupid office manager (I think office managers in law firms must chec their brains at the door). This one wouldn't, as my grandpa would've said, "paid a nickel to see an ant eat a bail of hay." So eventually the day came when one of the attorneys needed to buy some software that would create pension plans. This software would've cost about $2,000. Oh no! This was deemed WAY too much money. Instantly, the biggest fool I've ever met in my 30+ year career chimed in that SHE could write it and it wouldn't "cost them a dime." This was a person who was billed as the "word processor" and her view of that was that she shouldn't have to type any documents. She should just edit them. She had fooled the office manager with that one for a long time. This money saving claim was leapt on with both feet by the office manager who immediately took her off her job and assigned all her tasks to the rest of us (for no more money, of course) and for the next YEAR AND A HALF this secretary worked on this project. Now, mind you, all they wanted was to be able to assemble the various boilerplate clauses. I could've had that with a scanner in 2 weeks and we could've put them in some logical sequence and then made a check off list for the attorney to use to produce them. I'd done this for a prior lawfirm and it worked fine, took almost no time at all and was fine. But no one would listen. So time went on. Now our "software engineer" started working every weekend. Overtime was being accrued on top of 40 hours a week on the BIG PROJECT. They brought in our computer vendors to meet with her about the project and they were a bunch of idiots themselves so they patted her on the back and went on their merry way having collected nice "consultation fees." Our "Software engineer" started calling the software an "Engine" and pontificating about how difficult the task was but boasting that she was up to the task.

Then the firm bought her a computer for her to be able to work on it at home and she would log time there too and be paid. At no time, ever did this software ever work that I saw. Every time she tried to demonstrate it, it failed. But the failed demos I saw showed that it had lots of funky little prompts that she'd thrown in for the benefit of attorney in question (a female attorney our "software engineer" had a huge and very embarrassing crush on). You'd make a wrong entry and it would say "try again, pretty lady." OH GAG!!!!

I estimated based on the 40 hours a week for 1.5 years at her salary, plus the overtime that she bragged averaged 30 hrs. a week, on top of the cost of the home computer, this FREE software (which never worked) cost the firm upwards of $80,000."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 19, 2005

>> Cusswords in the Funny Papers

[ Fools ]

Anonymoys writes...

"At one lawfirm I worked at several years ago, the office manager hired a new receptionist based not on any qualifications, whatsoever, but merely because the lady was from an upper-crust neighborhood. The job didn't entail a lot more than answering the phone but we would have her open files and type file labels and occasionally type some envelopes to mail out bills. She told us she hadn't typed for several years so she was slow but she would pick it back up, she was sure. We started her out with a couple of envelopes to type. She brought them to me when she was done with them (which took an hour and there were three of them!!) and 2 of them had strikeovers. Mind you, the typewriter had a correction feature (don't they all these days?) and I pointed out the correction function to her. She went on and on like Id just invented the cure for cancer or something. But she INSISTED she shouldn't have to redo them because "the mailman would figure them out" even though she'd type the street number wrong and then retyped it correctly right over top of it. So you had like 46 with 64 typed over top of it and she's insisting "but I typed the 64 a couple times so it would be darker and he'd know." She was quite miffed that I insisted they be retyped. That was round one.

Round two occurred when she went back to do the retyping on the envelopes and came running back to tell me that the typewriter was broken and I needed to call someone right away. I asked her what was wrong with it. She said "oh it's terrible! I can't type anything except capital letters and when I try to type numbers, they come out looking like the cusswords in the funny papers."

The best part was that when she was trying to explain to me that when she learned to type, typewriters didn't have that whole CAPS LOCK function so she couldn't have known about that my office manager's boss came by and heard it. He started watching her and looking at her work and caught her slipping more strikeovers into the outgoing mail and she only lasted about another week."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 18, 2005

>> Hiring Rule Number One: Keep the Best One

[ Boss ]

The Embedded Low-wage Worker writes...

"For the first part of my working life, I worked in a small family business. When I finally got tired of the insanely long hours, I decided to get a forty-hour a week job working for someone else. I wanted to make just enough to pay my bills (without the headaches of running a business). One of the first things I realized about working for someone else is the idiocy of the people in charge. The buffoon I am currently working for once came up with the "brilliant" idea for hiring quality workers.I work for a furniture store delivering furniture. It is very hard work, involving heavy lifting, and very low pay. As a result, the store has a difficult time retaining delivery guys.

One day the head buffoon decided to hire three delivery guys, with the idea of keeping the best one. About the only thing going for this job are the hours--9 to 5. When the three guys started, the head buffoon had all of them moving furniture out into the store parking lot for a display. I went out on delivery, and didn't get back until a few minutes past noon. I quickly learned that one of the new guys had walked off the job. Apparenty, moving a bunch of heavy furniture into the parking lot was not for him. One of the other guys told me he heard the guy mutter as he walked to his car, "These last three hours have been the worst three hours of my life."

The next day, another one of the new guys suddenly turned to me as we had just finished moving a heavy dresser into the parking lot and said, "I think I just hurt my back." I told him to go report it to the head buffoon. He did, requesting to be sent to the doctor. To this day, I do not know what happened to him as I have not seen him nor heard from him again.

The last of the three guys the head buffoon had hired was working out (thankfully!). However, there was a slight problem. For whatever reason, he had very bad body odor. I don't know if he was trying to quit smoking and the toxins were trying to seep out of his pores; or maybe he just didn't bathe regularly. One day the head buffoon approached the manager of the store and said, "Have you noticed that Tony stinks?" The next day, Tony, the last of the trio that the head buffoon had hired with the intention of keeping the best one, was fired because he stunk.

My question to the readers of this website is, Is being an idiot a requirement for being a small business owner? If not, why are almost all of them idiots?!"

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 17, 2005

>> Slooooow Internet Access

[ Rant ]

shadycsh writes...

"I recently took up an international assigment and work for one of the Fortune 20 companies in India. The company's got about 10K+ employees in this country alone and probably 100K worldwide. But the employees here are severely constrained by Internet bandwidth. The company routes all its Internet bound traffic via some archaic proxies and gateways. Dip shits don't understand that fast Internet access is proportional to productivity. Especially in this case when most of our work is Internet related. It's not that the country doesn't have bandwidth. Companies in adjacent buildings are on the information highway except us. The download speed here is like going back to the dial-up days. Imagine sitting through, while you wait a minute for each webpage to load.

I gotta write to the senior management about this. Can anyone share any business (profit/productivity related) experiences of fast Internet access?

Thanks!"

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 16, 2005

>> The Viper

[ Work ]

Tainted writes...

"i stumbled across the site after having it to the neck and what a laught i had.

I can not describe what i was feeling last evening, so i was out to get a statement so that i could use it to put it through to management for office harrasment.

The laugh was quite theraupetic!

My issue is, i work for a not for profit organization.

The viper has been in this office for over 12 years having joined at chauffer level and currently doing admn. duties. a position held after seeing to it that he fixed his predecessor with accusations that she was corrupt. They were very tight but the predecessor was sacked within five minutes.

now the viper has been on my case since i joined the org seven years ago and i was actually his partial supervisor he made sure he accused me of incompetence, tardiness and all but i survived all these though my duties were given to his predecessor and eventually to him.

He does not have good education (no offence to any chauffer) and currently he is the only one in the small org. without an undergraduate degree.

The spine of this is that he creates trouble for each and everybody and he is also the informal informer to the country director.

People have cried in this office due to back stabbing, he makes people fight by jumping from one clique to another giving info and sometimes calling for mass action against a decision just to report the players.

I really can discern and i was able to recognize him for who he is and thus i keep away from him and his manipulations, but am his worst victim.

After reporting people he will always accuse me of reporting them because for one i do not entertain gossip and my temperament favours me as the kind of the quite people. to which he keeps saying quiet waters run deep - true.

And he has a package on me which he hands"confides" to new employees.
-She is an informer
-she is confused, incompetent and does shady deals.

Well after "they" get a dose from him they will often come to confess. i have neve confronted him but yesterday i almost did after he reported me to my supervisor that i had mixed up checks in the envelopes.

There are people headed to my desk.


phew am back (lol) our telephone lines have just been disconnected and guess what?

Yes the viper has shifted the blame to me that i did not inform them that the bills have not been received. Well i think i need to confron him on this one. Any one there we any suggestions?

Anyway, the last one month has been very active for the viper because he is busy trying to fix the senior assistant and has already created bad blood between her and fellow seniors, did not get the dossier and am not interested.

Then just last week was the most active, one girl who was even brought in by the senior assistant, things the SA is from hell they have already been fixed. do not have the details of the dossier.

then one of my colleagues lost some cash from her petty cash box and you know what i was the prime suspect because all the keys for the drawers are in my custody. we check the vouchers to see if anything was a miss in vain and it was concluded(by the viper) that someone who is very smart must have dipped his/her hand. Then you know what happens a payment voucher is found for the equivalent amount missing and there is no apology no nothing and this is where now i feel i should act!

not to forget that we even have one to one interviews to back stab each other. i have always refused to talk and i have vowed not to be interviewed ever again as it causes me so much stress, pain and tears.

What always comes out i was an informer of a previous regime, and the "package" follows.

i have started journaling what happens to me and i am contemplating seriously of taking legal action!"

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 15, 2005

>> Fired by fired fool

[ Boss ]

VXV writes...

"Years ago I had a really incompetent boss. Long on politic, smooth schmooze, very very short on engineering knowledge. As a result of this, we did not get along. He fired me, but unbenounced to him, no longer had the authority to do so. His smooth "management" manner wasn't enough to cover his ineptitude, and his replacement had already been hired.

As the new gentelman had to work a full months notice at his current employer, my boss had not yet been notified of his upcoming termination. I was told by the owner of the company to work out my two weeks termination notice and keep my mouth shut, that at the end of that time there would be "something in the works for me". I did so, and by then the fool had been sent packing and my "termination" had never happened.

The new man was a breath of fresh air! A good boss and a very sharp engineer. I spent three more years working there, puttin out extra effort always, because of the appreciation I had for not having to work for a fool! BS can carry a fool a long way, but in my experience, It seldom fails to catch up with them.

On another occasion, a coworker was furious that a fool had an assignment my coworker coveted, and felt far more competent. He asked me to advise him as to how to sabotage the guy to bring his incompetence to the attention of the higer ups. I told him he would be the fool himself to try that. Fate would backfire it on him somehow. I advised him just to be patient. Fools sooner or later fall out of favor on their own. Sure enough, in less than a month the fool was fired, and guess what? my coworker was picked for the assignment!"

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 14, 2005

>> SLURP!

[ Fools ]

Put me out of my misery writes...

"I sit next to a new guy that has about the social graces of a ape! Slurps every time he drinks and tries to suck the bottom out of a soft drink cup with a straw! Not just once and then he realizes its all gone, but continually tries!!! Like some more is going to magically appear! Constantly interupts peoples conversations and is dumber then a bucket of hair! Can't do his job in a normal 8 hour day, so stays late and gets paid overtime!! Wish I was ignorant...I'd get paid more!"

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 13, 2005

>> Tease the Kitty Long Enough, and Eventually She'll Shred Your Dumb Ass

[ Boss ]

Kitty writes...

"I used to work at a major aerospace company testing software that is absolutely critical to controlling the functionality of commercial aircraft. The atmosphere and politics were so bad that my immediate boss was compelled to get the hell out of Dodge, and soon after he left, the coworker with whom I shared the work on my program left as well.

So there I was, juggling the responsibilites of three people. My "management" never thought to replace the people who left. They were constantly cutting my deadlines short (because they wouldn't support the timelines I quoted to the customer in the first place, like, who am I? -- only the person they hired to KNOW THIS SHIT), which resulted in our company having to strike deals with the customer where the software (which, remember, is essential to the lives of every person riding in the aircraft) wasn't being fully tested. After about a year of stress and double shifts, I made it clear to my bosses that this arrangement was no longer acceptable. We agreed that I would train some people to take my place, and then I would transfer into another group so I could learn some new skills.

I upheld by end of the bargain. In fact, I apparently trained one of my replacements so well that he eventually began treating me as though he were my immediate supervisor (did I mention that I'm a 20-something female in a field dominated by middle-aged men?). When I confronted my supervisors to collect on my transfer, they didn't want to hear it. I tendered my resignation right then.

I've since heard that my old group has dissolved and that the work I used to do now has to be outsourced to other companies -- like the one I currently work for, which is run by my old boss, the guy whose absence initiated this chain of events."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 12, 2005

>> Ok, this is our leader...well only one of them

[ Boss ]

Following Stupidity to the throngs of hell writes...

"Allright everybody this is one of many people that we have running our organization. He is 1 of about 10 "in charge" folks that I work with.

Lets begin with this...
This guy, we will call him "Moron X" to keep his identity anonymous, has to deal with international clients and give tours of our facilities ( we work in a somewhat unique environment ).

After a string of Spanish speaking tourists/clients came to our facility fate decided to throw him a curveball. During the next tour we had people in from brazil. Moron X decided that he had to show some international relations skills, and in the vane of JFK delivering his famous " I am a jelly donut" speech, decided to show off his recently learned spanish phrases on these poor unsuspecting Portugese speaking guests. They naturally understood him, since it was basically "hola, como esta" and the typical gringo attempt at cultural relations sort of spanish. On of our colleagues under his breath told him to stop it, that they were Brazillian and spoke Portugese, not spanish. Moron X actually said, well its pretty much the same thing. When our guests were leaving to go back to Brazil, Moron X actually said "hasta manana" "Muchas Gracias".

Moron X however does not stop there, during a meeting with his boss and others, and I am not making this up, actually said...

"you are a great fellatio" attempting to give some sort of compliment. To this day we are not entirely sure what context he was trying to envelop that comment in.

As the world turns...
Moron X goes round and round. The following did not happen at work nessecarily but he brought it with him, and with a certain amount of(for lack of a better term) pride even.

Recently Moron X came to work with bandages on his hand. His middle and ring fingers were heavily bandaged. They looked like two creepy medical corndogs attached to his hand.

Upon inquiring about his bandages he responded... " I did the stupidest thing the other day "
When Moron X admits stupidity, it must be one for the record books.
"I was at home running my snowblower and the snow got stuck in the chamber..." I am sure you guys can see where this is going. "I went to clear the snow out by hand..." Um... "and the blades were still running" (insert grinding sound here)
Needless to say there was a great deal of blood and finger parts to be collected. I swear I am not making this up. He went to the hospital and was told by the E.R. person to take a seat. Moron X failed to mention that there were finger parts to be reattached, so he went and sat down. The "golden hour" passed and the finger parts could not be reattached. Now to clear things up on this matter, it is truly truly terrible to lose body parts regardless of how. The previous was just an example of how this world has carefully placed morons in key positions to make our lives more miserable... or perhaps to add balance to the world somehow.

Thank you for reading.
Sadly,
Moron X's employee"

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 11, 2005

>> Excellent Esophagus but can you shut your mouth!

[ Rant ]

Anonymous writes...

"I don't know if this happens elsewhere but in my office eating is a major problem. I know you must be wondering, "how can that be?" Eating is a normal human function! Well not here it isn't, it takes skill and a brain both of which are seriously lacking.

My favorite is this one woman, who annoys the ever living hell out of me anyway because she refuses to learn anything and so I get 40 calls a day just to help her (most of which are blocked by the receptionists, my new favorite people in the world) so she is annoying and has a problem with eating. She has had her keyboard replaced numerous times because it gets all "sticky" or "filled with food". Well maybe it wouldn't if you didn't eat twenty four hours a day (shockingly this is true and she is thin) with 20 of those hours hovered over the keyboard as you spill crumbs and drinks all over it. That isn't really bad what's bad is the phone calls, she refuses to stop eating and so she will call me up and eat while on the phone, this is my third biggest pet peeve about phones, just below talking to somebody else while you are on the phone and picking up a phone while you are out for a nice dinner. So with this cunt I get the sounds of chewing in between her inces!
sant bitching about her inability to use a computer, here's a hint put down the Suzy Q and pick up a computer book so I don't have to deal with you anymore.

Now here is the reason why I started this rant, today is cookie day. I love cookie day, it's the best day of the week until today. Another woman from my office went out of her way to come find me and in doing so she stopped off for a cookie, started eating said cookie and then started talking to me while eating it. I looked up at her once, listened to her horse chew the cookie nearly threw up because I saw straight into her stomach and saw half eaten cookie and looked down again.

I guess like common courtesy, proper manners have gone out the window too!"

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 10, 2005

>> Flying Butt Crunchies

[ Work ]

David writes...

"I'm sure glad that I'm not the only one having a crappy time at my job. I'm over 30, and I work in an I.T. Department at a hospital. The freaking bosses in this department are absolute morons. The don't know anything. I have no idea how someone can be a manager of a technical department and not be technical. This is like having the head of the Nursing department have a degree in Finance. It just doesn't make sense. Because of this tons of shit happens that shouldn't happen. Me and the other two guys that I work with constantly get pulled off of manditory projects for stupid shit. Example: Instead of patching the servers and making sure our network stays secure, we get pulled off to go test some wireless stuff for a department. How retarded. Let us get the important stuff done first.

The only reason I'm still here is because of my family. If I was single I'd tell my bosses to eat a dick and I would leave. Corporate Politics are total bullshit and shouldn't exist. People need to get a clue. I just really wish more people would be straight forward and honest instead of being ass kissers and playing the politics game.

They're all Turds!"

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 09, 2005

>> Crazy Old Lady

[ Fools ]

Anonymous writes...

"I work with a woman who is completely delusional. No one can figure out why she hasn't been fired yet!

She was actually my friend at one point and seemed perfectly normal until the facade started to crumble. It all started about a year ago when I look in the local Sunday paper. On the cover they did a story about local people who were listed as registered sex offenders. Low and behold I see her face staring back at me! She called me and explained the situation. She said she had a one night stand when she was in her 20s and the guy was in his teens. It was all a big mistake and completely overblown. I believed her. I did a little investigating and it turns out she totally lied. She was in her 30s and the boy was 15. To top that off she was a teacher and he was her student teaching assistant! Not only that but the boy testified in court that they had a sexual relationship for over a year and he broke it off because he wanted to date girls his own age. Yuck!

To make matters worse she "forgot" to mention the fact that she had been convicted of a felony when she applied for her job. You would think that would be enough to get her fired, but no. She's still here.

She's 40 years old and dresses and acts like she's 20. She tries to be best friends with the college students that work in her department. She has the mental maturity of a soroity girl and spreads rumors and trash talks anyone she can while being so nice to their faces.

She also likes to talk about her "boyfriends" which mostly consist of married men. She'll tell you stories about people you've never met yet she talks about them like they are celebrities and everyone should know who they are. If the conversation topic strays from her for even a second she gets a stern look on her face and completely dismisses the person who is talking.

The sad thing is she can't even do her job. She refuses to learn how to use any of the new equiptment in her area and refuses to attend any training. She is a royal hag to the customers that come into her area and treats them like they are such a bother.

Please fire her! I don't know what else she can do. Shouldn't lying on a application and being rude to your customers be enough?"

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 08, 2005

>> Is it work? is it time off? No one knows!

[ Fools ]

Anthony writes...

"I am a Computer Operator for a large network of hospitals. We have periods of down time, as well as times that it is so busy it will make your head explode.

The co-worker in question lets call him Putz..first. background. We have a Man, Mid-40's, who recently got a job here. He was out of work, by his own admission, for over two years. Not exactly the pick of the litter if it took him that long to find a job, correct?

Putz likes to raise issues and "get involved" in things that are unecessary... Frequent trips to Supervisor/Directors office's just to stir things up. Putz took credit for a huge website project that someone else created. He enjoys sucking up to our boss, who loves nothing more than bearing his weight down upon people who won't stand up to him.

Now, the crux of the story. We have a television that we watch on night shift, to pass the quiet time. this is a PERK. not necessary. right? In his review at work, the first thing he brought up, and told our manager, was how they should not take our television away. not the lack of support for our area, not the indifference about real issues, but the TV.

how stupid is this! A grown man, out of work for that long, and his biggest gripe is about a television, which would imply that the only thing we care about is slacking off.

God, I hate Putz."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 07, 2005

>> Emasculation by Floss

[ Work ]

chuckles the clown writes...

"It was time to replace the outdated monitors and video cards for my workgroup. All the items were in and unpacked and ready to install. I told my group that, to eliminate any down time, I would install their cards and swap out their monitors during their lunch hour. I also told them what was involved--disconnecting the monitor and other attached wires to their computers, opening the case, etc. Everyone "got it."

Tom goes to lunch and I even let him know that I would be swapping his stuff out. Bueno.

Detach cables, open case, remove old stuff, install new stuff, close case, re-attach cables, run basic tests, clean up after myself. It was the last part where I blew it.

Tom comes back from lunch and I tell him that everything went smoothly. Having come back from lunch he looks under the keyboard for... that's right, his floss. Not the little sample container that you get from the dentist or the small package from the drugstore, no, this was a two-foot piece of floss. In my apparent tidiness I inadvertently swept up a dust bunny that was lying under his keyboard. It seems that Tom was using this dust-bunny/floss on a daily basis for "good oral hygiene." Go figure.

If that doesn't weird you out enough, he then went on to verbally ream me a new orifice--not privately, but publicly in front of my workgroup. At first I thought he was emasculating me. Upon further reflection (and trying desperately not to lose my professional demeanor [i.e., laugh]), I realized he was only emasculating himself.

It turns out that the floss incident was just the tip of Tom's very odd behavioral iceberg. Tom no longer works for the company. He is, no joke here, pursuing his dreams of becoming a professional jazz dancer as well as being an [illegal] automatic weapon hobbyist."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 06, 2005

>> I took a vacation, but got the ego-trip for free

[ Boss ]

Eileen writes...

"After taking my first vacation time in four years, I returned to the office a day early to start catching up. One of my sub-bosses is extremely high-strung and I wanted to make sure she wouldn't feel "inconvenienced" ( her quote on prev. evaluation in reference to my broken leg). 9:00 am I arrive, four days out and 256 work emails waiting.

9:15 She comes tearing up to my desk, upset that I have not yet replied to her e-request for a meeting. The meeting time is for 9:30, I explained that I had not reached it yet.

She treats me to an elaborate show of the whites of her eyes and a very dramatic diva arm swoop and tells me "I don't want excuses, I need an update on the status of your tasks, NOW"

I do an emergency sweep for her email and find that she wants an update on the tasks that she has assigned in my absence. Ummm

At this point I have no idea what to say but there's no point in putting it off. I go into her office and am surprised to learn that the reason I have yet to complete
the intensely detailed list is not due to my return from vacation. Rather, I "like all white bitches" and passive-aggressively acting out my hidden racist agenda.

Who knew?

That was Monday, guess how the rest of the week has gone? Here's a hint *I'm still at the office from Sunday night*

I love my non-profit/no-benefits job, but it's getting to be a bit much, even for me...


01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 05, 2005

>> Illusions of Grandeur

[ Fools ]

Works with Know-It-All writes...

"I work with a woman who considers herself to be a jack-of-all-trades AND a Master at Everything.

Although she quit college after getting her A.A. to raise her family, when she's around college graduates, she often speaks of her "dissertation" and "senior thesis." To hear her speak, you would think she had a doctorate degree, medical degree, and law degree at once.

Someone at work mentions a medical condition, and her head pops up over her cubicle. She then proceeds to give a 20- minute lecture on the causes, symptoms, and treatments for said disease.

Someone else is remodeling their home, and her voice is suddenly heard through the cubicle wall, giving detailed advice on all levels of construction.

We don't mind her advice, because she is obviously intelligent and well-read; what we do mind is the way she criticizes everyone in the office, from the company president to the contracting clerk, for not being intelligent or hard-working enough.

In fact, one of the managers had a tragedy in her family, and Ms. Know-it-All nastily commented on how the manager was sure to "milk the tragedy for all it's worth" by taking off for more days than the company funeral leave allowed. (Hello? If someone loses a spouse, parent, or worse of all -- a child, they should be able to use vacation time to extend their funeral leave if they need the time!)

For someone who knows so much about psychology, medicine, law, construction, religion, current affairs, and the human condition, she sure does not show compassion for her fellow human beings.

Ms. Know-it-All, we respect you. Now show a little humanity and compassion for the people in your life and we'll even like you.

Having a superiority complex and condescending attitude has never helped anyone."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 04, 2005

>> Losing it

[ Boss ]

Anonymous writes...

"My boss hired a former co-worker of hers to work on her team. The job the co-worker was hired for was a job that I had expressed intrest in, and been told that I wasn't qualified for.

Now the boss' former worker has it, and she is TOTALLY incompetent. How do I know? Because I am training her for the job I'm not qualified for.

She has a more senior title than I and is better paid.

We work at a software company, and our positions are technical in nature.

In 7 weeks, she has not performed on duty without my guiding her hand... and yet takes credit for the work in our group meetings.

I almost lost it when I was asked: where in the database apache is?
what is a url?
what is a code line?
how to do a basic databse query.

All very inetersting questions from somebody that was hired for her DBA skills.

These are questions I've been answering every day for the last several weeks, several times a day. I've tried showing her, telling her, writing it down for her, whiteboarding it for her, emailing it to her, telling her to look it up on the internet... Everything.

When she asked me the same questions today for the Umteenth time, I felt like going into the stairwell and screaming at the top of my lungs.

I feel like getting up and saying "I can not do this any more."

I don't know what to do, and, of course, my boss is protective of her.

This situation is driving me crazy, and I'm on the brink of losing it at the office."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 03, 2005

>> This Abel Says Cain Aint No Brother...

[ Fools ]

ImNotCainImAbel writes...

"Eighteen months ago I headhunted and advocated hiring what turns out to be my own office nemesis [we'll call him Jack]. Before giving the recommendation to hire him there was a warning not to do so from what I considered then an unreliable source. Contrary to that advice, there was also an endorsement from someone I considered very reliable. Unfortunately, the wrong one was right.

Within six months of his arrival, Jack had run every scenario from the "evil player" office politics playbook. The environment at work is now so compartmentalized and filled with distrust, it makes a maximum security prison seem more inviting than going to work each day.

Jack quickly destroyed morale, team cohesiveness and several long standing coworker relationships in a department that before his arrival was performing quite well. His first operation was the old divide and conquers bit, an oldie, but one that apparently is still a very effective ploy, even in today's enlightened work environment.

It's so amazing how quickly Jack can adapt to a changing situation and work it to his advantage through deception, lies, or spin and people fall for it, especially the top managers. The almost seem to admire his knack for this behavior. When Jack gets confronted on his weaseling ways he portrays he portrays himself as doing what is in the best interest of the organization.

In the early days of his arrival, asked a lot of questions which did not seem that odd at the time since he was new and learning the job, but soooooo many questions, hours and hours of questions [he was learning alright, everyone's strengths and weaknesses]. After a while, when the questions kept coming and they became increasingly nefarious in their tone, I started becoming suspicious about his behavior and what Jack's motivations were. I hesitantly answered most of his questions [too many], but what I realized too late was that he was using the information to run backstabbing operations against our boss to his boss. I told my boss what I believed he was up to, but the boss thought I was backstabbing Jack.

Jack had begun taking snippets of information up the chain of command and distorting it to make it look as though our boss was making bad decisions for the organization. Succinctly, it became apparent it was a coupe de tat attempt. After awhile, I confronted Jack on what he was doing; he admitted it and he encouraged me to join him. I refused and brought the issue to light to the higher-up bosses.

What I don't know, is whether our boss's boss had encouraged or sanctioned him and had him working as a mole in the office. This is in the realm of possibility considering there is a history between the two bosses and the bigger boss has incrementally reduced my boss's authority and scope of responsibilities. So, this scenario is plausible.

Later I found that in order to make the coupe de tat complete for himself, he had to move me out of the way too. He did this by running a slander campaign about me through the organization. I've been somewhat of a maverick in my career, therefore, I had made some enemies in the organization, and he quickly sought them out and used them to help in knifing and marginalizing me.

What happened once the jig was up and Jack was revealed as the weasel he is, the bosses found religion and claimed Christianity to quickly forgive Jack as he charmingly feigned remorse and profusely apologized for his bad deed. Jack got an in-house counseling and no affect to his appraisal, whereas, my appraisal was marked down for bringing the issue to light and was also given a back channel threat that if I pursued action against Jack for his slander that I would be fired. This surprised me considering I had been with the company five years and had won several awards for outstanding performance.

In an attempt to understand Jack, his motivation and what occurred, I did a lot of research on his behavior and have concluded that he is likely a sociopath [I'm no psychologist, but I ran the checklist in various frames of mind and it still added up to him being a sociopath]. I consider myself fairly savvy on what motivates people's behaviors at work, having been working for 25 years, but I have never dealt with a sociopath before or at least not one on Jack's level. Jack doesn't suffer any guilt, anxiety or remorse for any of the things he does. He tends to behave as a predator or a pretender and will only do what serves him and not anybody else, unless of course, it somehow serves him to serve someone else.

Jack is still there and we have a new boss now and unfortunately the two have bonded. This is disconcerting considering Jack's past behavior and especially since the new boss has moved to elevate Jack's office status. I've mentioned Jacks past behavior to the new boss and he says he doesn't review any employee's past behavior, that it's not important to him. This leaves me very concerned about the future considering a person's entire track record is suppose to determine their promotion potential. I'm now wondering what's in the new boss's past and if I'm now dealing with two sociopaths or just a naïve guy who's going to take it up the rump from Jack when the opportunity presents itself.

There is much more to this story, this is just the highlights, but I would like some advice on whether I'm seeing things clearly or am just paranoid?"

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 02, 2005

>> Sexism to Potty Training...

[ Work ]

Anonymous writes...

"The truly difficult thing was determining WHICH fool that I work with to share with all of you. I've decided upon the sexist pig who sits two cubicles down from me.

This person was told he'd have to relocate from one section of the building to another, he threw a fit because he'd have to sit in an area with ONLY WOMEN. God forbid! (What is this - the 2nd grade? We don't have cooties...) He petitioned upper management (we work for a company of about 50 people) to move another guy into the area (eventhough no other males do the same type of work that he does) just so he wouldn't be alone with so many women. (not a way to earn points with the new neighbors!)

A month or so after he changed to sitting in our area, he professed to another male co-worker that it is a sad day for (insert our city here) because only women were on the front page of the Sports section. (Mind you, the team just won a major championship). I called him on this sexist statement and he replied "oh no, that's not sexist. I was just saying the writers weren't very good." (Yeah ... right)

This guy also has the habit of receiving calls from his wife and 2-year old daughter (who is potty training). Now, we get to hear him praising her (kudos for being an involved dad) and then he shares in GREAT detail the previous night's potty training events with our manager. He doesn't just share "we had a success" statements - no, no, no. He shares texture, color, and firmness details.

He also has a perpetual cough (but insists that he isn't sick or in need of medicine) that is irritating, but can be dealt with. The problem, is this guy cannot phathom how to cover his mouth and then is surprised when the rest of us wind up with colds.

The last facet with this gem is his inability to use g-rated language while in the office. I can only imagine that he's aware of this habit - because he never swears when our manager is around. However, when she's away from our area, he developes a whole new vocabulary. (mind you, I'm no prude, I can swear with the best of 'em, but not at work...) The topper is when he's on the phone with clients and says of our product "yeah, I know this is a lot of crap, but you still have to go through it." (Yeah, that's a great way to keep our customers coming back.)

We work for a software company and this guy can't figure out how to insert rows/columns into an existing Word table, change the font size or add "bold" in MS Word, or retrieve documents that (he saved) from the network.

The kicker is this guy probably makes more money than I do ... and I've been here longer."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 01, 2005

>> Multi-Billion $$ Corporation and you want me to figure it out?

[ Rant ]

JustaContractor writes...

"I am a contractor for an international multi-billion corporation that lets say, manufactures items that Osama would love to get his hands on. We are in the process of replacing a system on the plant floor that is mainly used for tracking purposes. Not knowing much about the existing system and process, here is conversation that I had with the person (let's call them No Clue) about what I am supposed to accomplish:

Me: Ok, what do I need to work on next?

NoClue: We need to work on ProcessA.

Me: Ok, what is the design and functional specification for the process and how does it fit in the current system?

NoClue: Well, I'll leave that to you to figure out.

Me: Uhhhhhh?

NoClue: I'll have to write some procedures too.

Me.: Well, ok I guess. But how do?...



Glad to know we are in MY good hands. I sure hope I get it done right. :-) "

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled