April 29, 2005

>> Training the Manager

[ Rant ]

Door mat on a mission writes...

"I will try to make this short. I have worked in this company for 7 years. I have trained 5 managers (and 3 interns) to do their jobs. I am a "lowly" project coordinator. I have taken on the management function of 2 projects of my own and have done the managers job on my 3rd project whenever the newly hired managers run away after 3 months - when they realize how much crap this place is really full of. I have not recieved a raise for 3 years, I have not recieved a promotion. The managers I have trained make twice as much as I do. I have asked my department director for a review and evaluation and raise 4 times in the last year, and have been told that he will get to it "next week". I have been actively looking for something else, and only wish I could find another job. When I do - I will tell him on the last day that I am leaving and I intend to give him 2 weeks notice "next week".

Idiots never realize what they have until it is gone. I can't wait until this putz realizes what he lost when he lets me go."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 28, 2005

>> Mr. Shithead's Query, Herbie, and Pain Rivers

[ Work ]

Beau Hatch writes...

"Here is a horrible piece of office politics I went through in 1993. I put the whole story in writing so that I may e-mail it to certain people if I ever leave the company. I figure my mind will be preoccupied with other things to write something like this should I leave.

However, I have changed all the names.

The cast of characters at this pharmaceutical wholesaler called Drugs Inc. includes:

MR. SHITHEAD - General Manager and C.E.O.
PAIN RIVERS - Sales And Operations Manager
RANDY BEEBER - Warehouse Manager
HERBIE - Guy in warehouse
JASON HALCRO - Pharmaceutical Buyer
JUDY COOCOO - Office Manager
BEAU HATCH - Pharmaceutical Clerk and one-half of the Pharmaceutical Dept. with the Pharmaceutical Buyer

Here we go:

MR. SHITHEAD'S QUERY, HERBIE, AND PAIN RIVERS

This takes a lot of twists and turns, so please make sure you read to the very bottom BEFORE conjuring up any potential opinions on what you have read so far.

In and around late 1992/early 1993, Mr. Shithead put out a hand-written memo to the staff of Drugs Inc. asking, "Assuming you had the authority, what would you do to change things so that we may better pursue opportunities?"

I took that opportunity to put in writing a few things I had at that time no plans to put in writing.

When I handed in my writeup to Mr. Shithead, my #3 on the writeup was concerning Herbie. This was before Herbie was made a Foreman.

I started off, "Get Herbie out of here immediately," mainly about one thing Herbie had done 13 times in a row.

At the time, I was Pharmaceutical Clerk, and part of that was being the policeman for how the companies I put away were presented in the stock locations on the shelf.

I had caught Herbie doing the following:

If there were three eaches of say, a Benylin, left in a box on the shelf, and he needed to pick six, he would just toss the box of three in the back somewhere and open a new case and pick his six out of the new case.

I caught Herbie 13 times in a row doing that. I reported him to Randy Beeber all 13 times. I mentioned it to Pharmaceutical Buyer Jason Halcro those 13 times as well.

So after I had handed in my writeup to Mr. Shithead, the months passed. As the months passed, I asked Mr. Shithead a couple of times if he would be getting back to me on my concerns. I thought I was being patient. I had written up about 4 or 5 concerns.

Then one Friday afternoon in March 1993, Pain Rivers called Randy Beeber and myself into his office.

It turned out he had my writeup in his hands and he started telling me what he thought about it.

I was stunned. To this day, I do not remember a word of what he said except, ".....but, this....." I do remember that ".....but, this....."

Why?

Because #1 on my writeup was ABOUT PAIN!!!!!

Concern #1 on my writeup was that instead of being Sales And Operations Manager, I felt Pain should just be Sales Manager and that Judy Coocoo should become Operations Manager, along with all of my reasons why I felt that would be a good idea.

In other words, my writeup was for Mr. Shithead. FOR MR. SHITHEAD'S EYES ONLY. It wasn't supposed to be for Pain Rivers to read at all.

Pain never told me why he was getting back to me on this writeup instead of Mr. Shithead. Neither did Mr. Shithead. Pain just began telling me what he thought of it with it in his hands.

Pain did not say one word about Herbie.

Then Pain cut this "meeting" short because the rest of the staff was waiting in the lobby for Pain to start a staff meeting. At that staff meeting Pain announced the overnight shift, and that Herbie was now a Foreman.

"A FOREMAN?" I thought to myself. "WAIT A SEC!" I thought. "We were just in your office discussing my writeup for Mr. Shithead where I state that Herbie should be FIRED for doing what he did with the product and boxes 13 TIMES!!! How can you make a guy like that a Foreman?"

I thought, "Why didn't you say that to me in your office with Randy there? Why didn't you tell me you were about to announce to the staff that you were making Herbie a Foreman? If you did, I would certainly have asked you why, so why didn't you tell me why? How can you rationalize promoting someone who acts like this and does such a henious thing not once or twice, but 13 TIMES to the position of Foreman?"

This traumatized me for years and years after that, and still does today. I still feel like I don't have closure over this.

Pain Rivers STILL has not told me why he would not say one word about Herbie in his office that afternoon.

You know how I felt at the staff meeting after hearing Pain tell us Herbie would be a Foreman?

I felt like a small child who is attempting to tell grown-ups about something like a fire, only to have those grown-ups just pat me on the head and say, "Nice little boy, that's all right," or something like that. In other words, the grown-ups in question are not even listening to THE ACTUAL WORDS that are coming out of my mouth. They only hear the sound of my voice. I could be saying "Goo goo ga ga," as far as those grown-ups are concerned.

I felt like Pain hadn't even read that paragraph I wrote about Herbie. I felt like if he did, he ignored it and ignored the issue and made Herbie a Foreman anyway, and had it dead set in his mind that he wasn't going to say anything to me about it. I don't know what his responses would be if I had brought it up and asked about Herbie first.

Pain never voluntarily said to me in his office that afternoon with Randy Beeber there, "Beau, we need a Foreman for a new shift I'm announcing to the staff in a couple of minutes, and in spite of what you say he's done, he's the best we've got if you don't want the job." He did not level with me like that. I don't want to come up with lines like that on my own. I don't want to figure it out on my own. Doing that doesn't mean what I come up with is correct. I want to be TOLD the truth. I want it spelt out for me. I am not a mind reader. I cannot read Pain's mind.

Remember, in his office my main thoughts and priorities surrounded the fact that Pain was not supposed to be reading my writeup. This writeup was for Mr. Shithead and Mr. Shithead only. No one else was supposed to see it.

Incidentally, I had no problems with Herbie as a Foreman. I thought he had turned over a new leaf.

Your thoughts?"

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 27, 2005

>> When inmates run the asylum

[ Work ]

Mike writes...

"You know, I enjoy working in a place where the atmosphere is casual, and people are free to be flexible with their time, as long as the work gets done.

The only problem is that some people simply don't understand when a line has been crossed, and their behavior is inappropriate.

I work with a guy who not only thinks he knows everything, but thinks he has the burden of telling everyone about everything he knows. Whether it's the work itself, politics, sports, music, movies, or any societal issue, he will drop everything and go off on some 3 hour tangent about whatever the supposedly important issue is.

He does all of this with a smug, arrogant, I'm-so-brilliant-and-you-are-so-beneath-me attitude.

He also takes a great deal of pride in trying to shock people. He enjoys telling people stories about the long history of mental illness in his family and his wife's family. He also enjoys talking about how America "deserved 9/11". He also spends as much time as he can badmouthing the company and whining about how overworked he is. For him, it's all about trying to make people feel uncomfortable.

What's most troubling though, is the number of people who gather at his feet as if he is the most fascinating, enjoyable person in the world. This is especially true of some of the managers who giggle like school girls whenever he starts in on one of his rants. I guess they think he is a "bad boy" and they enjoy his "rebel" attitude.

It's also troubling because these female managers treat the professional, we're-here-to-work-not-play women and men as if they are lepers. We are polite and take the time to visit with others throughout the day, but after a while, we recognize that it's time to get back to work.

Makes me wonder if maybe these female managers have some self-esteem problems, and now that they are in a position of authority, they are "getting back" at the people who supposedly "held them down" in the past (These managers especially mistreat other women and men who allegedly were more popular in school).

A Fortune 500 company is not the right place to have some schoolgirl crush on Mr. Rebel, who in reality is very weak and insecure. You want to go out after work and round up some thugs to make you giggle, go ahead. In the meantime, I need the supply chain estimates, so please wrap up your whining about the shoe sale you missed and get back to work."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 26, 2005

>> Am I missing something?

[ Boss ]

wednesday addams writes...

"I just started a new job for a major retail chain. Since the holidays are coming up, the district manager wants our store manager to get a part timer to work about 12 hours a week through the holidays. Since the Store manager has a certain amount of hours to give employees, this means she will have to cut a few hours off each person to make room for a new person who also needs to be trained. I dont understand why the DM wants this. it will be the same amount of people on the sales floor. the new person will just be replacing the 2 more experienced people for 12 hours a week. This is my first experience with a corporate company, am i missing something here ?"

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 25, 2005

>> Assorted fools

[ Fools ]

O Temp(ora, o mores) writes...

"Fool #1: dumb middle-aged secretary

Case: Secretary can barely use e-mail and wants to open all files in Word. When a visiting client told her not to hesitate to call him in case of any problem (regarding the job at hand), the secretary took this literally. Called the client a couple of days later, asking about a trivial problem, something akin to "how do I attach a picture in Word?"

The client told the boss who then told the secretary off. After the boss left, the secretary burst into tears and complained to a coworker, making herself the innocent and wronged one.

Fool #2: one of the managers, AKA "The Charmer"

Case: The Charmer tried to get everyone to do his bidding and the only one who actually did, was the dumb secretary. Wanted other people to fetch his printouts (he was 5 metres away from the printer), get him some CD-ROMS (from the cabinet on another floor), loan him a pen, scan (personal) pictures for him etc. All this and more with a "charming" grin on his face.

When people wouldn't do his bidding, he'd claim he was very busy with something important (and the others weren't?), whine and beg... again with that smarmy grin.

Fools #3 and #4: The boss and another of the managers

Case: I needed some files rather urgently and these two fools had promised to give them to me "on Monday, at the latest". The day the files were to be sent to the ad agency, I wondered where they were - both the files and the fools. Turned out the boss was on a business trip and the manager had taken a day off, both conveniently forgetting all about these "very urgent" files.

I stayed the whole day, basically twirling my thumbs, and billed them for the lost time. Later, when the boss complained that it became expensive to just keep me there waiting, I told him off for not letting me know about their absence and not providing me with the files as planned.

My position in the company: Temp, lowest of the low. The job lasted several months, but once the project ended, I was outta there, and happy as a clam (it paid well)!"

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 24, 2005

>> Leech

[ Rant ]

Voris Trupp writes...

"A current complaint I have at work is an individual (lateral to mildly superior in rank) who is a leech. His strategy, which I like to refer to as "glomming-on", works as follows:

Holds meeting with several individuals where a potential action item is "discussed", though in vague or exploratory terms

Follows up with a petulant, harried email to others shortly thereafter that they need to do the action item as quickly as possible (though he does not volunteer to do any of the work)

Coopts work as his own for the client or superiors

By glomming onto others' work, this individual is able to maintain the illusion of productivity, and pass the work off on others, while not doing any work himself (other than bullshttting during the meeting and sending the email).

I am sure this is a common strategy, but he exhibits an irritating level of smugness while executing it.

I feel like walking by him and saying "self-obsessed" when I pass him."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 23, 2005

>> The Indians are Coming

[ Boss ]

Mr. Engineer writes...

"I work at a small engineering company with about 15 employees. The owners are two Yankees who have a lot to learn about employer/employee relations. One is 65 years old and has owned this company, or some variation of it, for over 30 years, so you would think he would know. The other one is 38, so he's still green.

First of all, the 38-year old guy has a problem where when you go in to his office to ask him a questions, he will just stare at you, like "what kind of question is that?" He also does this thing where he will walk up to you and ask you a question and when you begin to reply, he turns around and walks off. Sup wit dat? And he also likes to begin his conversation with you as he is walking out of his office headed to your office. Keep in mind, my office is 30 feet or more from his, so he begins to ask his question when he's 30 feet down the hall. I usually can't hear him until he's right outside my door, so I only hear the last word or two of the question and he always has to repeat it. Now, when he checks my letters, reports, or plans, he is the ultimate stickler on wording and placement of things on the page. He'll tell me to move something, I'll move it and then he'll want it moved somewhere else or right back where it was to begin with. It's so annoying.

As for the 65 year old man he's very forgetful. I'll go in and be talking to him about something we discussed AND ALREADY AGREED ON from the day before and he totally doesn't remember it, or remembers it completely differently than I do. And if I go in to ask him a question or discuss something with him, I have to be sure I have all my ducks in a row and have an answer to every conceivable (and inconceivable) question he could ask, because he will ask it. It's kind of like standing in front of an army or Indians on the plains. There are thousands of them on horseback and they all have a bow an arrow aimed at you. Then they all release the arrow and you have thousands of arrow wizzing by your head. This is how it is when I go ask a question. Be ready for a thousand different questions to be thrown your way and you better have an answer to every one of them or else, you're wasting his time.

There's another engineer here who takes forever to answer your question. I'll call him up and ask a question and then just go about what I was doing, while he takes like 30 seconds to come up with a response. I used to hate the silence, but I now use that time wisely and get some work done. A lot of times, the response is just a rehash of my question so I have to rephrase it."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 22, 2005

>> Ready to scream!

[ Rant ]

Dr. Madd writes...

"As I have said before I work at a plastics plant. They, as a result of Lean Manufacturing ( A stupid way of doing things, but that's a whole different rant) have placed operators in three cells. Up till Yesterday I was in Cell A. Things were going ok. Then I come yesterday and find I've been moved to Cell B. And Why? Apparently two idiots complained of Favoritism. How this came to involve me is still beyond me, but anyway, I was placed on a job that kept me on my feet all day ( I have bad legs and one shorter than the other. I am resting my chronic ankle sprain as I write this now.)And what's more, this was a part that nearly cost me my job last time because it requires speed and coordination, Something which does not come as a package deal with me. I am a good worker. I can do, to more or less a degree everything there, BUT that, and here I was. Quality control gets in my face first because I didn't sticker a crate, a job which was my line leader's to begin with, and only recently fell, along with half-a dozen other tasks that were not ours to begin with, and I explain that I had little time to muck with paperwork. Anyway, I was told I kept up with it better than most, and all was well, despite feeling like crap. Then back comes Quality control (Who's related to me, sad to say) to complain of an occasional part being doubled up as a result of being fatigued from-guess what?- being on my feet for 7 hours. Some kind of gall. On the way home, As I ride home with the Quality control, I get to hear how we're expendable and if I can't do the job they'll get someone who can. If I hear that one more time, I swear I'll go critical mass."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 21, 2005

>> Satan's List of Rules

[ Boss ]

Anonymous writes...

"These are a list of rules that I can remember from my previous job - a hellhole (a very nicely decorated one, but a hellhole nonetheless). I worked for an egotistical, sexist, racist, egomaniacal, megalomaniac nutcase Satan(who was also extremely rich and eccentric) and here is the proof: Just a few of his rules:
1. All staples should be made at a 45 degree angle. If anything is turned into his office with a staple in any other form, it will be returned to the person and asked to be restapled.
2. Only large shiny silver paperclips will be used in the office. The use of any colored paper clip is not permitted because it is (in his 'humble' opinion) tacky. (Small shiny silver paperclips are permitted sometimes, but only if there are less than 5 pages in a set of papers.)
3. Binder clips of any size are strictly forbidden. He hates binder clips. No one knows why.
4. Always say please, thank you and I'm sorry. If you have been reprimanded, say "I'm sorry" even if it's not your fault. Even if you are innocent, your name has been involved in some sort of a problem thus, you should feel some regret.
5. When you walk down the hall, please pick up your feet. Do not trudge or slide your feet. Doing so gives you the appearance (and sound) of a herd of buffaloes (we got an email to this effect once- am NOT kidding.)
6. Eating at the desk is strictly forbidden. Also - food papers, food particles, soda cans and drink receptacles are NOT to be disposed of at your desk trash can, but in the designated can in the kitchen (under the sink).
7. Please smile and say hello to your coworkers whenever possible. If you don't, you will be labeled a snob.
8. Loud talking - especially over the cubicles, is NOT permitted. Keep your voice at a low even decibel.
9. The use of blue ink is strictly prohibited, because in his humble opinion it is "queer". Use only black or red ink. Use red ink only for corrections.
10. When you turn in corrections, place the sheet with red marks directly above the corrected sheet for his viewing. Do NOT do this in reverse order or there will be trouble.
11. You must account for every moment of your day in the daily log- which is due at 5:00 pm at the end of the day.
12. Radios and music are STRICTLY prohibited, for listening to music at one's desk is an enjoyment which takes away from actual work (he equated listening to music at one's desk as literal theft from him). However, you may, if you so wish, listen to the hold music, which consists of American Marches by such great composers as John Phillips Sousa and could possible stir you to work harder.
13. If you have three items in a sentence (such as jim, joe and jeff) NEVER place a comma before the article. To do so is treacherous.
14. Misspelled words are an abomination. You must write detailed explanations and apologies each time you make a mistake. (You think I'm kidding, but I'm not.)
15. Periodically, there will be an unannounced test that the entire office staff must take. On this test, you will be asked to name all of the executive staff as well as their titles, and the EXACT titles of several of the periodicals we publish. Failure is NOT a good sign. It says that you don't care about the organization. It says that you are not aware of your environment and thus, are not a team player.
16. Oh - and the use of the word team player is only permitted to his liking. At other times, he uses the quote "everyone's work is nobody's work" - either way - you're screwed.
17. If you don't change the toilet paper when it's getting low (or if you, GOD FORBID, leave the empty cardboard on the roller) an email will be sent to the entire building about the condition of the bathrooms and about the laziness of the staff. Change the toilet paper, FOR GOD'S SAKE!
18. Remember, the boss man is watching how you park from his window in his "lair". (His corner office is high above the lot). He can tell what kind employee performance you're going to put in just by the way you park and how you exit the car. So - do so with an upbeat attitude. (He told us this at a meeting once!)
19. Do NOT slouch at your desk. POSTURE is important. If you are caught slouching, it might be put into your performance review (as it was put into mine) as one of your employee flaws.
20. Also, try not to look tired and worn out at the end of the day. He doesn't like that. It sickens him. This is another thing that could show up in your performance review (again - it showed up in mine).
21. NEVER call in sick on Monday or Friday. He thinks it looks bad. If you call in sick on Monday, it makes you look like you're hungover from a weekend of partying and if you call in sick on Friday, it looks like you're starting your wild and raucous wine-bibbing early. And - if you are genuinely sick - oh well. (He had a hard time believing people were ever really sick. This is the type of person who, if you were bleeding out of your eye sockets would say something like - Well - put on these goggles. You don't need your eyes to type, do ya? Didn't you learn the QWERTY method?)
22. There are 1 million more writing and editing rules that I won't go into."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 20, 2005

>> Bellowing Boss

[ Fools ]

Anonymous writes...

"I have, thank God, an office with a door that I can close. And I close it often, particularly because my boss doesn't know how to close hers. Her normal speaking voice is a few decibals below earsplitting, and when she's on the phone, it gets even louder. And she's on the phone A LOT. Her voice rings through the entire building, all day long, day after day, after day.

Unfortunately, my boss can invade the (relative) quiet of my office by buzzing me on my phone's intercom. It's really not necessary for her to do this, though, because I can hear her scream my name just fine through my closed door and CD headphones. When she calls (screams?) for me, I prefer to pick up the phone's handset and speak into it, rather than have an idiotic speakerphone conversation with someone who is two doors down from me. However, there is a lagtime of...I don't know...maybe 2 SECONDS before I can pick up the phone and say, "Yes?".

In that three seconds, and without fail, she screams my name at least twice, and sometimes three times. Each time, there is an audible question mark at the end of my name that gets bigger and her voice gets louder, and louder.

At first, this really annoyed me, but now I've started to have fun with it. For the past few weeks, I've started seeing how many times she'll scream my name before I answer or she gives up. So far, we're up to six."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 19, 2005

>> I want to work for the government when I grow up.

[ Fools ]

Blackcat writes...

"This is a bit off the subject from the standard co-worker story but still is well worth sharing....

After 8 years of arguing my way through the child support system of Indiana, I finally get the monkeys there on the right track.

I sent them a $25 money order to get paperwork going to get my case handled in the proper manner. Money order clearly stated that is was for the filing fee. (Cost at this point is $26.27 - fee, money order and stamp).

The geniuses in the Clerk's office get the check, apply it to my ex's arrearage balance and send me a check for $25.

So, after realizing the screw up we discover, thanks to government burocracy, the only way to fix this is for me to send them another $25 money order. Total cost to process paperwork is now at $27.54 + aggrevation and phone call, and nobody seems to know if they are going to back out the entry that states that $25 was paid for support.

So, at this point I have paid myself child support and my smuck of an ex currently has the credit for it being paid.

I want to work for the government when I grow up.. Can be completely unhelpful and incompetent and keep my job, while getting all the government holidays off."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 18, 2005

>> The Bosses Daughter

[ Rant ]

Tommy writes...

"My boss has his daughter "working" at our company. He got divorced from her mother when she was young and was never there for her, so now he pays her to come in the office two days a week and cut out articles he marks off in newspapers.

She is 25 years old, has no college education, abnormally huge breast implants, and acts LITERALLY more immature than her sister who is 17.

Anyway, she can't even CUT THE ARTICLES OUT CORRECTLY! They are always jagged or missing words on the columns that she cut too thin. God forbid if there is an article that crosses over to the other side and she needs to pull the article off the web. It's always MY job to show her how to go to the New York Times websites and find the article because it would be way too easy for her to have remembered the first 40 times I showed her.

A few weeks ago she was asked to photocopy a few pages out of a book for her father and she started kicking the copying machine because they weren't coming out correctly. Guess who's job it was to show her that she has to close the lid on the copy machine so the book doesn't slide up. Yup...you guess it...MINE!

The absolute best is when her immigrant boyfriend and her have their phone discussions over her Nextel Direct Connect. I kid you not...this next comment came out of her mouth in front of myself and my coworker: "Mmmmm...I miss you. You felt so good inside me last night."

Also, I need to mention the fact that while she cannot surf the web over to the New York Times website, she somehow finds her way to a website where she blasts the same Ashlee Simpson song "Pieces of Me" over, and over, and over again until I am forced to sneak over to her computer and hit the "mute" button on her keyboard.

Lastly, and probably the most disturbing, is her flatulence problem. She doesn't care who's around, she will just rip a fart as if she was alone in her living room. Needless to say, she's real fun to be seated next to. Lucky me.

P.S.- I'll save the fact that she always makes us come to the door and unlock it to let her in because her "key chain" is too bulky for her to want to carry out to the bathroom for another time."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 17, 2005

>> Vulture

[ Fools ]

Anonymous writes...

"Please someone help me. I work in an office where we do outreach work with the communities across our state. Every day we make presentations to a variety of groups local, state, regional and national. Though our office has been predominantly women, we have recently hired a man. We have lost a couple of positions over the last year so I was excited about the idea of adding new people to our team. I remember the first day I became aware of Billy's bad habit. We were sitting in a statewide meeting with many people from other organizations sitting at a round table. As others were speaking Billy began carefully probing his face with his fingers feeling for any little bump or abnormality. When Billy would find something that intrigued his fingers, he would begin squeezing and plucking away at the little bump until it erupted in blood. Afterwards, Billy's fingers would continue for they were insatiable like little vampires or vultures. Billy would continue to prod, squeeze and dig at his face until he had more than a dozen little geiser's of blood on his face.

Now one might hope this was an isolated incident but Billy continued this behavior in the office, at staff meetings, during conferences. He is able to excavate his face while speaking and presenting.

Please someone share your insight."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 16, 2005

>> Fire-happy boss and the fools who work for her

[ Boss ]

Anonymous writes...

"I used to work as a contractor for a company that manufactures PC cards. Our lead supervisor, NM, was a bully to say the least. All day long, we'd hear her get on the PA, "Joe Schmoe, please call 733 (her extension)". She'd always have a PO'ed tone to her voice when paging. The encounters always end with being called into her office, where she would dress them down for issues, often beyond their control or having nothing to do with them. She always seemed to be PO'ed about something, in the six months I worked there, I NEVER saw her smile. She would ALWAYS be talking about who should be let go, and people were often fired if their numbers ever went below a level set according to NM's latest whims. I was a test technician there, and I saw the place as one of the most disorganized I've ever seen. Test fixtures and "asset" cards were haphazardly stored in two cabinets, it often took up to half an hour to find them. If we had problems requiring attention from the Manufacturing Engineers, we had two ME's. One, SL, really knew her stuff, and her cube was festooned with awards and certificates to prove it, but she was a bit aloof. She was Canadian, and her thoughts about "stupid Yanks" subtly showed. The other ME, JJ, didn't seem to know poo from Shinola. If you call an issue to his attention, he'll say "I'll be right there". An hour later, still waiting. I'm no engineer, but I've often found myself correcting him on PC applications he apparently was clueless about. How he ever got hired as an "engineer" is beyond me. In the short time I worked there, I saw four people get fired, for trivial reasons. The first one was a little eccentric, and liked to work alone. But he got the job done. NM didn't like his quiet personality, so she fired him. The next, JW, was fired, but had it coming, since he was chronically belligerent. The guy in shipping and receiving, MC, made a simple, honest mistake on an order number and caused a customer complaint. Guess what? He gets fired after two years of hard work! No warnings, no write-up, no counseling, just abruptly fired. My time came after just six months on the job. My original contract was three months, and I was originally told I would be brought on permanent after that. Three months passed, and I couldn't get a straight answer, so the contract was extended month by month. My immediate supervisor, JO, appreciated my work, and fought to get me hired. Suddenly, JO takes me into a conference room to tell me the unsettling news, that the decision was to end my contract, and I had only two more weeks to work there. We later meet with NM, who rattled off a litany of complaints against me that I never knew about, from the ME's and from some other co-workers. She could not specifically tell me what the complaints were (how convenient). I admit, I occasionally let my frustration show due to the disorganization, but no one with a beef about me ever had the gumption to talk to me about it. This company's unofficial motto must be "Fire First and Ask Questions Later". I think of it as a huge favor, since I no longer have to work in that hellhole. The morale got even worse after I left. Two more techs after me were let go for mysterious reasons, and the dumb ME, JJ, he was demoted to test tech! I guess they finally realized his incompetence!"

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 15, 2005

>> Unsatisfy

[ Work ]

Brown -eye - girl writes...

"Hello,
I've been working for the same company for about four years, and every year where it comes to x-mas party its always the same for the co-workers (THEY ALWAYS COMPLAINT!). One year I helped to organize the party, just because I thought that I could make a change, nop! these people still complaint about the music, the food, the drinks (and they were free drinks - alcohol), ect... Never again for me.
This year one of the managers decided to organize the x-mas party by doing something different, like going to a place where there is bowling, pool tables, games, ect. I thought it was an awsome idea, just because it more casual, rather than going to a banquet hall, but guess what? The same old bags began to bitch about the place. When I heard that, I lost it (didn't say anything to them), but I thought to myself how come there are people that are never satisfy with what they get or have, and this is a prime example of uncosiderate bitches just like my co-worker, that I am tired of them bitching every year. I just want to enjoy x-mas parties.

Thanks,

P.S. Readers, I am not planning to quit my job I like the money."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 14, 2005

>> Brown Nosers

[ Work ]

Politican writes...

"I have 3 co-workers...
1-Cindy works M,W,F
2-Wil works full time and me.

Wil is the boss' best friend - that is how he got the job, the MFer gets to take time off to do whatever he wants and doesn't have to submit vacation requests, or sick leave.

Cindy has worked for the company for 9 years and has the shield of one of the VP's over her....she walks around and chats all fucking day and gets nothing accomplished..this is the 3 days she is here.

Then, me...I have to submit for bathroom time off...smoke break boss? Am I in a damn prison? I kick ass at what I do and take pride in all I do...this is some bullshit, and I can't go to HR cuz it is corrupt as well - I have no idea how many days Wil has taken off, but more that the 2 weeks I get!

BULLSHIT!"

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 13, 2005

>> Fear and Loathing in Cubicle Town

[ Boss ]

Anonymous writes...

"When I started my job at a office somewhere in the U.S. I had only worked at one other job since college. At my previous job there had been office politics, a cranky boss, and I was glad to be gone from it. So I had a new start.

Well, back to the new job. When I started, I did not know that I was entering a whole new world of paranoid delusion, sporadic insanity, and acute psychosis. All of these descriptive terms relate to my new boss. When I first met her she was very nice. Though she did seem a bit nervous...with uneasy smiles, and a rigid fist-pumping walk. The walk made it look like she smoked meth before coming to work, and on top of that, had severe diarrhea.

She was in charge of training me and took the task very seriously...very seriously. I began to wonder what she did before I got there because she never left my shoulder. Soon her control began to spread to evey aspect of my day. Like when I made coffee, or how I sat in my chair. One day I was writing an e-mail and she demanded I that I copy her in to every e-mail that I send. If I was talking to someone, she would walk up and just stand there, looking at both of us like she had just caught us plotting against her. If we were in the conference room she would walk in and have that same insane glare. As if by learning some things from my co-workers and not from her, that I had betrayed her. She became more and more paranoid, yet she would often call me into her office to have her attempt at heart-to-heart's. One day she told me about some really personal stuff and even cried in front of me, it was very very scary.

After she had been training me for a month or so. Things in the office started making sense. You know how that goes, the processes start to gel and make sense and you are able to accomplish actual work. Well, as things started coming together I realized that a lot of the things she had told me were lies. That they were designed to waste my time and confuse me. She, for some reason had wanted me to fail. "But why?", I asked myself. I was no threat to her position. I confronted her with one thing in particular that was completely wrong that she had told me. She lunged at me with gritted teeth, screaming that I was wrong and that I would do things as she indicated.

To do things as she indicated would have eventually led to my being fired. So I gathered evidence and presented my case. She was fired because of all I presented against her. She is gone now. I have a reputation in the office now as the new guy who destroyed his boss upon arrival at the office. It gives me an air of intimidation. I had gone through a real trial-by-fire in this new job.

After my boss got fired I went into her office and took whatever I wanted that wasn't her own personal stuff and put the junk they gave me back into the supply room. I took a hat she had from a company event that she had left on her desk and put it on the coat rack. Like a skull on a stick, it is a sign to my new incoming boss, that I can only be pushed so far."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 12, 2005

>> Company Central Intelligence Agency

[ Boss ]

Sparticus writes...

"I am currantly slaving in a factory that produces industrial grinding wheels and is run by the reincarnation of Josef Stalin.

I was hired on about four months ago as the company had somehow landed several multimillion dollar contracts and were starting a second shift. There were three of us hired on for the shift and spent a month on first shift training on the machines.

Even though the company is owned by a fortune 500 company and makes a shitload of money, the equipment we use is not only 50 years out of date, but shoddily maintained as proper repairs would cost more money than duct tape. Hence there are quite a few wheels that come out fucked up.

Which brings us to the insane overseer we'll call R. R somehow became manager of a machine shop without ever having worked with one. Hence such statements as "The machine won't run because the belts snapped" or "If we don't have the proper oil for the gears, they will fuck up" are a complete mystery to him. His response is always "Shut up and work, if you don't like it, there's the door."

Rather than spend time and energy in actually upgrading our equipment or letting us put in overtime to get the work done, R merely resorts the threatening us with termination if two days work isn't done in an hour.

His other pastime is his intense need to know what the hell everyone is doing all of the time. To this end he has recruited almost the entire molding dept and several others besides as his own spy network.

The way he did this is that there are a sizable number of illegal immigrants in molding and a few in finishing, and by threating them with deportation and by rewarding them with overtime whenever they rat on anyone else, he's effectivly built his own army.

The reason why shit never gets done isn't because so and so had a cigerette in the building or because someone was five minutes late from break, but because when you have 15 out of 30 employees climbing through the rafters like the damn veit cong, or hiding in ambush in the warehouse, obviously production will suffer.

And what happens when production drops? Why he ships out the work to mexico and the bigger bosses love him for lowering the labor costs, not that they pay us a living wage as it is! And raises, those are only if you're part of the network or his son.

Then there's his habit of breaking things. So far a picnic table has been destroyed, because there was litter near it. As if screaming at people to pick up thier shit would be too difficult especially consitering the fact that all the man does is scream. But back to his victims, he's broken 17 wheels that could have been fixed, had he not shattered them in rage over insignificant imperfections. He's gone through two computers, as he tends to kick them. And he's murdered countless micrometers by beating on things with them. He's avoided human targets so far, but the day is coming.

His most recent fuckup is managing to lose two guys who ran 3 or 4 machines each, which raised the labor overhead as we've hired 4 people to replace them. The 4 people are of course relatives of his mexican spies, thus increasing the network. Of course since the don't read english, they can't possibly understand the work orders and shit comes out wrong, a fact the rest of us are punished for.

If it wasn't for the fact all the other manufacting jobs in my area weren't being shipped to china, I would simply leave, but things being the way they are it appears I'm trapped here until I get wounded by one of R's temper tantrums."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 11, 2005

>> Got Power?

[ Boss ]

Anonymous writes...

"About a year ago, while working at an Ivy League university, I was called into a professors office, lets call her Ms. Science Prof, to fix a "dead" computer that "just stopped working".

Macs are the big thing in academics and many of them have these pass-through power cables where the monitor plugs into the computer, which is then passed through the computer cable to the outlet or one should hope.

Upon arriving at Ms. Prof's office, I hit the power switch on the monitor -- nothgingl; I hit the power switch on the computer -- nothing. This was odd as I just installed this system about 30 days before.

A quick check on the back of the computer I see that the power cable is missing. After inquring, I find out that Ms. Prof. needed a power cable for her projector so she took the one from her computer because it had "two".

She said she thought that it was redundant and that the computer would get power from the monitor."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 10, 2005

>> Dipshits, whiners, crybabies

[ Rant ]

IMustBeRetarded writes...

"Lets see...how crappy is it this week?

Oh yes....I first witnessed that teary horseshit as a young lass---simpering, whimpering girls who would start to sniffle and I could have puked then and nothing has changed in twenty years. I'd eat a mile of shit before I did that. The personal problems, the hooker outfits, I've had more than my share. I'm a nurse and have had to send nursing assistants home to change their clothes...oh please...our human resource dept must be drunk 24/7. I have asked them, "what WERE you thinking?" They smile. I have a mental health worker who does the nose drop administration right in the middle of a conversation...being a nurse, nothing grosses me out, but ill mannered, whining, entitled dipshits----ugh! I've said, "oh, I'll wait until youre done" and she doesnt get it. Maybe someday I'l just change my tampon in front of her and say that oh gee whiz, you putin your nose drops and honk and make all kinds of sounds....ahh Jesus, I cannot believe the crap on my floor. Masters degrees? Oh yeah. They come complete with double negatives, "her aint got", etc., ad nauseum. Masters Degrees?? Yup. Did someone put a stun gun in my arse again or is this my penance for some bad deed? They come to me with whining problems. Apparently they cannot solve them. My response is, "whould you like me to solve this problem?" Oh noooooo, we just want to bitch. The cure is to reassign people, then they come and ask why you did that. Well, lets see. Youve come to me numerous times with neg reports, complaints, etc. You havent been able to solve the problem. I made the decision because you are having difficulties with your duties as things stand presently. Oh, they HATE that. They are so stupid that they cannot hear themselves. "Oh, I just wanted to make you aware." Well, since youve made me aware about 5 times, I'm altering your work schedule/load/responsibility, so that you can no longer come to me with the same gripe. Oh course some silly bitch will turn on the water works. They must think me callous, but I dont see bawling as a way to express myself at work, or anywhere else. How many years can you work in the nursing field and sound like youre on Dr. Phil or some other whiney tv show, blathering on about tragedy? Yes, its real, get over it and do your frigging job, go care for the patient. Dealing with the staff in the field of mental health is far more complicated and difficult than providing compassionate care for 25 schizophrenics. I could puke."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 09, 2005

>> This belongs to you!

[ Boss ]

Anonymous writes...

"This belongs to you!" barked the line manager to my boss. I've been with the company 18 days. "I found this in the copier and it's yours!", she continued. She then proceeded to wave the papers in my face at the opening of my cubicle.

I stood to receive the documents although I was sure they didn't belong to me. I looked more closely at the documents as she was waving them in my face and recognized a name at the bottom of one page. It was one her employees, not me. I then saw the title of at the top which read, "PURCHASE REQUEST".

I batted my eyes and with calm said, "Susan, these documents are processed by your unit, purchase requests, right?" She looked down at them and said, "oh, yeah, you're right. I just looked at the numbers and just assumed they belong to you (I work with payments to contractors, not purchase requests).

Susan makes close to 60K a year and she can't even recognize her own paperwork. She is an idiot of the highest order - god help me."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 08, 2005

>> Brilliant Idiot

[ Work ]

Maven writes...

"One of the first jobs I landed when I got out of high school involved me working for a forensic science laboratory. For the most part, it was interesting and the core group of folks were decent enough.

HOWEVER! There was this one DOLT who was in charge of the scientists, who was totally socially inept. You could stare him in the face and say, "Hello," and he'd just keep walking by. And other days, he'd talk your ear off about nonsensical shit like the merits of earwax. I always suspected he was bi-polar or had other personality disorders.

Anywho, one day he came out and was feeling particularly "chatty." All the while he was chatting, he was "fiddling" around with this big powerhouse of a mechanical stapler we had for rather thick reports. Flip, flip, flip. On. Off. On. Off. Chatter chatter. Flip. Flip. On. Off. On. *THUD*

Total. Eerie. Silence. Turns out this brilliant IDIOT had. Stapled. His. Finger. Mind you, these were not mere staples which you could remove with a claw type staple remover. These staples were more like finishing nails. The only way to get it out (and yes, it did go thru the bone) would be to get out tin snips and snip off the bent parts of the "staple" and pull the straight nail like part that remained, out.

My lasting visual of that moment was him in his office, head between his legs. Body limp. Yes, he passed out cold. All the while another co-worker was diligently trying to yank out the "staple" with a claw-type staple remover.

You don't get much call for "Duh" these days..."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 07, 2005

>> Don't Mess With Me

[ Boss ]

Zeke writes...

"I came in to work one day and found an envelope on my keyboard. In it was a form letter signed by my bosses boss telling me my contract was to be terminated at the end of the month. Problem was, I was a full time employee and had been for a year and a half. They cited "no work" for the reason and would hire me back when work picked up. I did a slow burn because of the way it was delivered. What made matters worse was I found an emploee resource allocation sheet on our network that outlined the whole plan they had to eliminate positions. I was actually slated to go before a short time term person and a couple of lower seniority people (less qualified I might add) who were to be kept over me. I contacted HR and got a pitiful response so I wrote a letter and sent a copy of my termination letter to our new company President. That was a Friday. I took Monday off to look for work and returned on Tuesday and found a please see me e-mail from the dorky termination letter writer. He said, remember when I wrote that you would be contacted if work picked up? Well it has and your back. Gee, that's coincidental and quick (within two weeks of the termination letter). I had it out with my boss later that day because he never said one word to me about the way this was handled so I knew he was part of it too. He actually confessed he wanted me gone because of my poor attitude. He's got one of our team leaders acting as a spy for him and when I mentioned in a meeting that I didn't like one of his decisions it got back to him. I won't do that again. I also had left five minutes early that day and the spy told him. The spy failed to mention that he leaves early a lot himself. Anyway, I'm still here 5 months later. I've learned a few lessons but they act like it never happened. But it did and I remember."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 06, 2005

>> S&M Prison Letters by Boss

[ Boss ]

heyheywhatdoyousay writes...

"The guy I work for is a typical enough seeming middle aged man. He has 2 of each: ex-wives, kids, grandkids. He is moderately good looking and well-spoken. He has a good sense of humor and an easy-going personality.

I generally enjoy working with him (even had a slight crush on him for a while). Before working for him, I has another position in the company. I took the job I have now already knowing the sort of person I would work for (like being able to interview for a boss) or so I thought...

I lately started noticing that he was spending alot of time at his writing and typing from what he had written. The few words I saw on the screen once gave me the impression that he was trying to get his ex back. I thought that was sad enough.

So I realized that he would throw the papers away after doing his typing. Curiousity got the best of me. I snooped in the trash and what I found shocked me.

It was a letter to a woman in prison filled with S & M talk and other nasty talk. Okay, finding out this much about the average joe I spend 9-10 hours with a day freaked me out. In fact, after the first dose of letters, it was extremely awkward to be around him. It is also hard to keep a secret that big.

So, now I'm obviously hooked. The second dose of letters revealed that he sends her money and she has given her cellmates his address so that they, too, can write him (and get money, or try). She is also going to get out soon. I'm expecting a train wreck of a person to start showing up to work when he realizes she's out and wants nothing to do with him.

Of course, that may take a while. You see, she wants implants and is aspiring to be a stripper or a hairdresser, you know the quality vocations that prison time leaves you qualified for. She'll need someone to bankroll her efforts for a while at least.

So, yesterday was payday and he went to the bank and the post office and came back to do what? Write page after page of lustful words that I'll get my hands on next week.

Having light shed on what he does in his personal life has sure confirmed that several comments he has made to me that seemed "borderline" were surely sexual in nature. That is also a head-spinning thing.

I feel like sitting at my desk and writing XXX letters to my husband, just to even the sexual and perverse tension in the room when he is writing at his desk.

I also feel sorry for him and find it really hard to not hint that I know something and hard to stop from telling him how stupid he is. I'm sure he probably knows he's stupid, but the inmate is appealing to his ego- which is paramount for anyone, man or woman."

01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 05, 2005

>> Come to your computer!

[ Fools ]

Anonymous writes...

"Today I was with my boss when a co-worker working from a reomote location tried to IM me. When I didn't respond, he tried IMing another co-worker to tell me to go to my computer.

When I came back to my computer a half hour later I had an 2 IMs, one from the first coworker, and one from the second saying "Hey, the first coworker wants you to come to the computer!"

Thanks for delivering that message!"

01:02 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 04, 2005

>> There is no MyMomWorksWithFools.com... so....

[ Boss ]

Ex-Ex-Writer writes...

"OK, this is actually about my mom's job, so sue me. There is no mymomworkswithfools.com.

For over 15 years, Mom has worked for a company that sells merchandise in large retail stores. During that time she has had probably a half dozen or more supervisors, some of whom were good, but most of whom have been self-serving ladder-climbers. Her first boss, Tom, got promoted, and every time a new person came in, he would tell them that if they weren't sure about something, "just ask Barbara," (fake name for my mom) because she knows exactly what to do.

Of course, all of the women who have succeeded Tom insist on doing just the opposite, because they want to be noticed for "improving" things. That's why sales go down whenever they make changes. They order merchandise that the customer doesn't want, or which doesn't sell. Mom is only in the store on a regular basis, so surely she doesn't know what sells, right?

How bad are these women? (Sorry, but they actually have all been women.) All of the stores like Mom, but they don't like it when she comes with her boss. And one day, out of the blue, Mom said to me, "Now I know why you're single. All of the women your age are such BITCHES."

Unfortunately, Tom is no longer with the company. Mom's current boss is a lady who I know only as "Beelzebub." Clearly she is the most self-centered of the bunch. There recently was a major disaster near where Mom lives.

She was fortunately out of town when it happened, but came home early and checked in with the boss' voice mail system where all the reps can call in to get the information they need. There were a whole bunch of messages, and every single one was about how the reps shouldn't worry about the boss, she is safe, and describing what did or didn't happen to her house. There was not ONE message asking how the reps were, or even asking about the status of the stores or anything else work-related.

Well, you didn't really think someone named Beelzebub would be hurt by a disaster, did you?"

01:07 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 03, 2005

>> Business Meeting Idiots

[ Fools ]

pimpmyminivan writes...

"Someone please tell my why too many damn fools monopolize business meetings that are conducted to actually accomplish something, but end up being overtaken by some little bizotch with his own agenda? I mean, come on people, why do you think we were flown in from all over the country? Oh, thats right, to hear some fool grandstand about his own little problem that everyone else in the meeting could care less about.

One fool in mind really stands out...this pontificator could actually hold the record for "wasting time" in a meeting. Do you actually think that the presenters will get through their slides without this fool taking them on a self-serving roller coaster ride of self-absorbsion? NO WAY! Not to be outdone, fool #2 takes the baton for the second leg of this relay race to nowhere...wasting, you guessed it, more valuable time. Then, onto fool #3...by now, the whole meeting has been turned into a circle jerk emceed by jack asses.

Based on my experience, we can hypothisize that at least 10.8% of meeting attendees simply don't get it, no matter how clear the agenda topics. What are their origins? How were they made? And, more important, what is the real reason for their existence? I welcome all responses. Someone please help me understand these fools of monumental proportions."

01:09 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 02, 2005

>> Cheap and cheesy!!

[ Work ]

bittergirl writes...

"The company sign is made from corrugated plastic. It looks very cheesy. The framed company logo, which is inside the office, is cheap-looking too: the border is formed from 4 strips of black construction paper, and everything that is framed is warped due to the humidity.

Today, our only toilet was not working. Are we supposed to hold our bladder in until lunch time? We had to go to another office to do our business.

When my boss came back from vacation, he gave us the toiletry package that you get from the airplane. Gee...thanks. I'd rather get nothing. I mean, a souvenir is probably better, but a toiletry package??

Also, since I work in the construction industry, we need steel-toe boots. Did I get a brand new, clean pair? No!! I got the worn pair of my boss` wife. They were dirty and 1.5 size too big. Talk about cheap!!"

01:04 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

April 01, 2005

>> Office Telephone Extension List

[ Work ]

Like I'm Mr. Spock Here writes...

"Recently, the person who did our office telephone extension list changed. The new list has been redone twice, and it's still wrong, not just factually, but format-wise as well. After the first time, I've given up on correcting it, except for myself.

Unbelievable compounding factor: there are two "empty" positions in my department, which led to two empty offices. Due to a promotion, the office admin assistant "Robin" is no longer sitting where he/she used to. This has led to Robin being placed in one of the empty offices, although this is temporary as Robin isn't of sufficient rank to actually sit in that office permanently.

Now, Robin has the previous occupant's phone extension, but a) is afraid to list it on the extension list, b) has a phone that still answers with the name of someone who's no longer working at the company when you get voicemail, and c) in fact has a voicemail that's different from their actual number, but is answered by the new admin assistant when she's there.

My repeated attempts to officially make sense of this all have been rebuffed. Silly me, I thought a phone extension list should list the numbers people can actually be reached at. Apparently posting it online for the whole company is like graving it in stone. Pencilled-in corrections are much less political."

01:10 AM - Posted by Disgruntled