May 30, 2004

>> Bosses girlfriend disciplins staff

[ Work ]

RB has a unique situation... not only a fool boss but a fool bosses girlfriend...

"I work for a small Computer company, it's just myself and my boss that work there. However lately it seems as though my bosses girlfriend wants to get involved also. I have worked for the man for three years now, I have never had a contract or formal job description so no legal reason why i need to stay around bearing this in mind my boss has never seriously disciplined me for anything I've done wrong, and I've made some BIG mistakes but as usual no written verbal or any other such warning is given. (nor even at a personal level.) So bearing in mind I don't have an official start and finishing time we have quite a flexible working environment. Except for when my boss has woman troubles, for example he gets very stressed during work hours. will drop everything to have an argument with his bird and being that he's the boss there no point complaining. I try to keep my role in the business as professional as possible. Recently they went away for a long weekend fri - tues leaving me to run things. Then on the Monday due to train delays I was late into the office by about an hour and a half. I got in took care of EVERYTHING outstanding that morning and the business was running fine. an hour later my bosses girlfriend rang me in the office. Upon answering the phone i was met with a barage of shouting about whether or not its fair that i'm late and how much stress I'm causing my boss and how terrible their weekend away was as a result. She insisted that I appologise for ruining their weekend and tried to tell me how my timekeeping just wasn't good enough and I'll have to do something about it. At which point I mentioned that surely if there is a problem with my work perhaps my employer should be having this conversation with me and I don't really understand why she felt she had the right to give me so much abuse. To which i was told my boss is so stressed because I was an hour and a half late he couldn't talk properly. (In fact it was just her with sand where it shouldn't be giving my boss such a hard time he began stuttering) I was left in an extreme rage after that call and I am counting the days till I find something better."
01:04 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 29, 2004

>> Idiot Engineers... Idiot Company

[ Rant ]

Charlie shares a little tale from a few years back about fools... obviously it still bothers him...

"From 1995 to 1998, I worked for a computer manufacturer as an assembler. One monday, I came in, went to my station, and started to assemble my first computer of the day. I got about half way through, and discovered the riser card was too short -- it was supposed to slot into the riser bar for support, but didn't. So, I went to the supervisor to report the problem, only to be told the company engineers had determined it was okay -- every unit was passing test. Now, I knew I was just an assembler, with only an A.S. degree, but I was smart enough to realized that when a part doesn't fit... it DOESN'T FIT!

I told the supervisor that the engineers were idiots, and I knew with 110% surity every unit would fail the final burn-in process. But the supervisor said that the night shift had already assembled over 2500 units with this defect, and that I should just ignore the problem and continue my job. I did, knowing full well what was to come -- ALL units assembled by the night and day crews... every single one... failed burn-in and had to be redone, once they micky-moused a solution (that didn't involve using the correct riser card, no less).

Just imagine... this company allowed 5000+ units to be trashed over two shifts worth of work and expense, not counting the need to rebuild every unit with a re-engineered riser card fix. I still shudder to think what that had to cost... oh, wait -- I do know what it cost! The company went belly-up. Fitting end for a dead-fish...."
01:08 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 28, 2004

>> Fools over me and under me

[ Boss ]

Biller had the best response possible given the situation... always great to show up a fool...

"I was the billing manager in a medical office that was a sideline for 3 doctors. 2 of them fought me constantly over HOW billing should be done (I had 20 years experience). The business, for myriad reasons, was doing badly so a few people were laid-off, including me. My inept, part-time assistant stayed, as did the receptionist and typist who couldn't spell and despite her claims, did not use the spell-checker. On Friday, I came in for my paycheck. Dr. Idiot starting asking me about this and that on my former desk. I told him that those things were my work. "I KNOW that, I want the details."

"I'm sorry, but I don't work here. You laid me off. If I go over all this, it constitutes work and you'll have to pay me for my time." I believe there really was steam coming out of his ears. And, as I walked past the front desk, my 2 former co-workers stared at me with dropped jaws. I loved it."
01:15 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 27, 2004

>> My old editor is a control freak

[ Work ]

magazineman shares a story about a fool nicknamed "Eeyore"...

"I worked for a start up magazine last year and was hired to run the publication and design the look and feel. My first day, I meet Jim, the editor. Jim is was nicknamed "Eeyore" because of his tired eyes and lack of motivation. In the publishing business, deadlines are part of the business. But Eeyore worked on his own schedule. He never had his stories done on time so the designers could finish. He would write, design and edit the stories while never giving up control and pissing off our printers, who would have to wait for his royal Eeyore to finish. He soon became so tight with the publisher / president that he began making excuses for him. Soon everyone left, including myself. But I am happy to report Eeyore is still pineing away at a magazine that hasn't published another issue in over six months!"
01:11 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 26, 2004

>> The Stupid Receptionist

[ Fools ]

WorkingGirl writes in the tales of this foolish receptionist... do you have it worse?

"My company has the dumbest receptionist that ever graced god's green planet. She was hired even though she couldn't type (it was requested that candidates be able to type 45 wpm) and speaks ebonics out her a$$. And THIS is the first person to meet and greet our customers. Oh, and the real kicker? We are a HIGHER EDUCATION INSTITUTE.

This stupid bi_ch tells people where classes are held. If a class is upstairs, she actually TELLS THEM ''You can take the stairs or the elevator'' (like a person wouldn't know HOW to get to the 2nd floor) but yet she doesn't tell them THE LOCATION of the stairs or elevator. This idiot is so dumb, so moronic, so incompetent, and yet she STILL works here. WHY?

To give you a better knowledge of the vastness of her stupidity, one day a co-worker was talking about the yummy roast she had waiting at home for dinner, because she left it in the crock-pot all day. This stupid girl asked her ''How you do dat?'' so the other co-worker proceeds to explain cooking a pot roast in a crock pot. At the end of the ''lesson'', the stupid receptionist asks her ''Do youz takes de'meat outta de'wrappin'?'' I KID YOU NOT! - SHE IS THAT DUMB!

I could give you a million and one other reasons why THIS IDIOT has gotten on my last nerve. But I fear you'll hurt yourself laughing so hard at her utter idiocy!"
01:09 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 25, 2004

>> Idiot v. Fool - a rollicking good time for the rest of us? You bet.

[ Rant ]

Anonymous shares with us the battle royal... of the Idiot vs the Fool... who will win?

"So I work in the retail field. At the bottom level, you have your peons, those who toil and slave to make a commissioned buck or two. And, of course, you have the ladder, manager, his manager, HIS manager, so on and so on.

This story is about a fellow grunt, who, I will admit, can be a BRILLIANT salesman. This, among other things, however, causes him to believe he's specialer than the rest of us. This story is also about our manager's manager, and his... well, see for yourself how he is.

Little more background - there are around 20 or 30 stores in our area, and each has their own successes and failures. Overall, the store this peon, "Leon," and I work in is one of the best in the area. Some stores have better percentages, hit rates and the like, but few can even come close when it comes to sheer massive overall numbers.

Monthly, we have meetings with our bosses boss, "Ross," where all the peons in the area get together and listen to him drone on about our sales numbers and so on and so forth. One thing in particular he was picking on was that this little nothing-store had a better percentage in add-ons to equipment than our store did.

Now, having been around the block enough now, I know better than to try and go head to head with Ross. He'll either ignore you, or do something incredibly stupid that'll really just make you feel uncomfortable.

Or, of course, he'll fire you. He IS the boss of boss, after all.

Leon, however, believing that his ability to perform allows him to be a smartass, called out Ross. Right in the middle of his tirade on how this little nothing store is out performing us, Leon just stands up and asks to see the numbers.

Ross is speechless. Leon comes right out, with everyone around stunned that he would interupt Ross, and asks how all the numbers correspond to each other. After all, even if they are doing better in an attach-per-unit rate... how many units have they done?

Ross stammers, looks at the numbers, shuffles them around for a few minutes, and then starts going on with the next topic.

Leon interrupts him AGAIN. He STILL wants to know the numbers. Ross mumbles something about how they do the same number of units per associate as we do, and moves on again.

Leon gives up, but when we get out, I went back with him and we looked up the numbers ourselves.

The store in question had done something like 24 units, with a 2.5-per-unit attach rate.

We had done over 200, with just under a 1.0-per-unit attach rate. I.E. we were absolutely STOMPING them in sheer volume and gross profit. The only thing they had going for them was some percentage numbers which really didn't mean squat when it came down to it.

End result - Ross tried to call us out without the numbers to back it up. Leon, being the absolutely dumbass that he is (no, suprisingly enough, he wasn't fired, although everyone was expecting it, the way he talked to Ross) called him out in it, in front of absolutely everyone.

I will admit, it was a classic scene, and the rest of us were hard-pressed to not roll on the floor laughing at it all."
01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 24, 2004

>> Chemical Sniffer

[ Boss ]

Anonymous finds that some fools are doing their best to snuff themselves out of this world...

"So I get to work for second shift, and the place has a funny smell to it, sort of a bitter chlorine. I was told a sewer pipe broke earlier and was repaired and sanitized. I later have a different mess on the floor to clean up and I jump on the floor scrubber and hit the mess. I soon discover the bitter smell is from the machine. It is like no cleaning solution I ever smelled. I call the Sanitation Manager, the nite supervisor gets there first, lifts the machine lid and the smell drifts out and he agrees there is someting wrong. The Sanitation manager gets there, lifts the lid and STICKS HIS HEAD IN AND INHALES. He is quickly on the floor gasping and coughing. I am hoping I don't have to give this guy CPR, but he keeps breathing. He still insists sniffing is the best way to tell what you got. He has had three other positions in the past year, the company is obviously looking for a place where he can do the least damage. I think he even knows it, too, 'cause he makes jokes about trying out for certain other jobs. Of course no one from day shift admits to making the bad mix."
01:18 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 23, 2004

>> Masters of the Obvioius

[ Rant ]

Jenny has a short tale but sometimes the obvious isn't so obvious to a fool...

"So I get a tatoo on my shoulder and can't cover it for a few days. I go went to work with tank tops on all week and usually they don't mind, but the strap on my bra and tank top had to be off my shoulder so I wouldn't ruin the ink. 3 days after I returned to work my boss pulls me aside and tells me i'm dressing too provocitivly. So I told her that it was just for a few days until my tatoo healed over. She didn't even know I had gotten a tatoo. It had been staring her in the face all week and she still didnt see it. Crazy people."

01:02 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 22, 2004

>> Can someone spell FOOL?

[ Boss ]

Swimfan writes in with this tale from a pool run by fools...

"I used to work as a learn to swim instuctor for a small, family-owned and run pool. The boss, his wife and two moronic sons. Recipe for a harmonious family? I think not. I have plenty of stories but here's one of the more memorable ones.

The younger son, 20, is my superior simply because Daddy runs the pool despite the fact that I have been teaching twice as long as he has and I'm much smarter (it doesn't take much, trust me).

Anyway this guy likes to go on a power trip whenever he can. We have different school groups come in most days and they are notorious for mucking around the whole time. So Stupid Son decides to go authoritarian on them and give them some lines to write out to hand in at next week's lesson.

When the kiddies (who are about 10 years old) come up to him and ask how do they spell what they're supposed to be writing, he doesn't know! I found it amusing that he was giving them words that he himself is unable to spell!

Not only did he make himself look like a fool, but it undermines other teachers' authority because they now think we're all fools, despite the fact that myself and majority of the other teachers are only doing this job while we're at university. Stupid Son of course, is not."
10:33 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> The light's not on AND nobody's home.

[ Fools ]

NOTE FROM DISGRUNTLED: I am leaving this post as is... as even fake posts get through and I am sorry to have been the fool this time... I posted up a new story for you above in the meantime to make up for it. Regardless continue ripping the story below... sometimes the gold mine of fools stories is just that... fool's gold! I'll be more vigilant for my watchful visitors... more stories to come!

Fizz shares one of the more shocking stories... the fools have invaded nuclear facilities... beware!

"I worked in an IT department of a nuclear facility..yes..I said A NUCLEAR FACILITY which makes this story that much worse. Part of my responsibilities was to occasionaly man the Help Desk and assist our "clients" (workers at the facility) with basic PC issues. First you need to know that it is very common for this sort of facility to use old trailers instead of buildings. This particular call came from a woman working from a structure composed of about 40 trailers which made it look like a typical office building, but it was still on "wheels" (on blocks) and not a permanent structure...Anyway...I don't remember the conversation verbatim, but you'll get the idea.

"My PC isn't working...the monitor's on but it's not displaying anymore."

"OK.Is the PC turned on?"

"Yes, it's been on all day."

"Ok, just check to make sure it's on incase somebody else turned it off."

"No..It's on, the button is pushed in."

(Enter flashbacks of people who think the monitor is the PC)
"Ok..And you're checking the button on the box with the disk drive, not the button on the monitor, right?"

(In a sarcastic "DUH..I know the difference" voice..)
"Yes..The PC's power button is on and the monitor's power button is on. I was just using this a minute ago."

(Excuuuuse me Miss PC Expert)
"OOOOkay....Is there a light on the monitor to show it's on?"

"I don't think so but I don't know if it has one."

"Please look to make sure the monitor is still plugged in."

"It's really dark, but yes..it looks like it's plugged into the power strip."

(I know what you're thinking..but we're not there yet!!!)
"Is the monitor still plugged into the PC?"

"I don't know, I can't see it. It's too dark in here."

(In here?)
"You mean you can't see under the desk?! Just turn the PC a little so you can see behind it."

"Ok, but it's really dark.all the lights are off in the trailer, so it's hard to see."

"Uhh..The lights are off? Is there power in the trailer?"

"Well, most of the things in here are off, but the phones still work?!"

Apparently she didn't realize that phones draw power from the phone line...or maybe she thought the PC worked the same way and drew power from the network cable...or maybe she was just a complete idiot. I'm leaning towards the latter. The whole trailer was powerless. The printers, fax machines, PCs, coffee maker, EVERYTHING. But unfortunately for me, the phones still worked and the little red light on it just beckoned her to give me a call.

BTW.I now live over 100 miles away from that facility..so I feel a little safer. :)"

01:14 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 21, 2004

>> The Junior High Bully

[ Boss ]

Overqualified finds that some fools are hard to work around... but cancelling vacation the day before it starts... oh boy...

"Fresh out of college, my first supervisor was a highschool drop out who had been promoted over several years because of her willingness to wear skimpy outfits. She seemed familiar to me but I brushed it off as maybe someone I had met while doing community service work at the teen pregnancy shelter. Now that there were two women in the office, I was considered right away to be the "bitch" because "Hey, honey, get me that file off the bottom shelf" followed by a grope on the rump didn't go over with me.

After a few months, my supervisor's boss was replaced by a woman. My supervisor was often sent home to change out of her tube top and shorts and into something more professional. The men in the office began to realize all women in offices were not truck stop hookers and I was treated less like a bitch and more like a colleague - by everyone but my supervisor. She liked to mention (always loudly in front of other people), that she was a highschool drop out and I was a college graduate but she was my boss - haha what a wasted four years for me. I had no real ambition to move ahead (I liked the work I was doing), but she belittled and bullied me daily so I began to look for other work.

One day she came in and waited until the waiting room of the office was full of customers and said, "So, how much money did you waste on your high-dollar education that got you this job as MY assistant?" Everyone stared and I couldn't take it any more. "It costs about $20,000 to get a liberal arts degree at Holy Cross. Maybe if you start to make more money than I do, you can afford to get your GED."

When she realized they paid me more money than her because of my college degree, she began to make life much more difficult. She waited at the door to lock me out of the office if I wasn't there at exactly 8 am (8 am and 1 second was now considered late), denied my vacation requests (I would request days off months in advance and buy plane tickets only to have her turn down my request the day before the trip), hold up work until it was past my deadline (we had five days to do the work - she would hold it for five days and turn it in to me at closing time on day five), and passed off my work as her own so she could spend more time selling Tupperware from her office.

When I found another job, she refused to let me transfer to the other office until I had trained a replacement and I almost lost the other job while they waited for her to be satisfied that I had properly trained my replacement, who had never done this kind of work before (book keeping) and needed a great deal of training.

The day I was leaving the job, she told me we had gone to school together. She had found me in the junior highschool yearbook with the other "over achievers" and laughed about how many pictures there were of me, saying I must have been on the yearbook committee (I was). When I got home that night I realized why I thought she was so familiar the first day at work - she was the junior highschool bully who had been held back two years and who had been expelled because she had attacked me in gym class, where she broke my glasses and cut my face with a field hockey stick.

Just goes to show that bullies never grow out of it."
01:10 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 20, 2004

>> Whipping Girl

[ Rant ]

Irish Red writes in with varying views as the Office Manager excuse me I mean... Whipping Girl...

"I work as an 'Office Manager' (aka Whipping Girl) for a large, well-known real estate company I shall refer to as Millenium 22.

Every day I deal with at least 30 of the world's stupidest people asking me questions and/or telling me what to do. And wow, these people are STUPID.

Let me start with 'management.' I'll treat you to some excerpts gleaned from a memo recieved at an "Office Manager Seminar" All of these are sadly, direct quotes.

"That is your job, to make our systems work flawlessly, never to re-invent how you may feel business should be done."

"Your job is to make sure the agents are happy, just be nice, don't get involved, let them talk, not to excess..."

(In regards to talking to customers) "This is not your job. Offering a cup of coffee and a place to sit is fine, that's it."

(In regards to time cards) "Keep it honest, make sure you get them in, people are watching and we don't like to see conflicting times, we operate on a level of trust"

**And if there is a 'level of trust', why are 'people watching'?***

So it's obvious that the management here is not comprised of intellects of any sort. A manager asked me to send her all of the reports I generate earlier than normal on Friday (as she was leaving early, to go on a trip!). So I e-mailed all of the reports out to all 5 of my bosses like always before noon. I go to lunch. I come back-she intercoms me on my phone and starts bitching that she wants her reports. I tell her "I e-mailed them all out to you around 10:30." She SNARLS at me "I WANT them on my DESK!" Yeah. Polite and professional, right?

They hire idiots here-people call in to respond to all of the 'recruiting ads' they put in the paper for new agents. Literally more than half of the call-ins cannot read. The woman who does the hiring is the most patronizing, annoying, cruel moron I've ever met in my life. She had the nerve to yell at me for not doing something in a computer program because it is IMPOSSIBLE to do! As in, the program has no options for the user to make what SHE wanted to happen, happen. She's also a member of one of those crazy religious cults, where she's eventually going to end up wearing a purple toga and drinking Kool-Aid.

And now...drumroll please...the agents! Stupid, stupid people!

*One agent lectures me for at least a half an hour every day about miniscule crap that he has no right discussing with me, he's also gone through the drawers in my file cabinet because he can't wait 2 seconds for me to come back to my desk and ask...(He also has breath that could melt diamonds)

*Two of the new agents who work as a team on a lot of listings blatantly sexually harass me-they have harassed me in front of lawyers (who stood there and laughed, f-ing pigs), in front of other management, and in private.

*These same 2 agents left a severely schitzoprhenic (sp?) man out in the freezing cold (he had no coat, hat, scarf, gloves, or socks) for almost an hour because neither of them wanted to take him for a 15 minute ride back to his house.

*One of the agents came racing into my room, freaking out that the computer was broken, and that I HAD to call the IT people IMMEDIATELY! It turns out that someone had just reset the browser homepage to a different page than she was used to.

*A direct quote from one of the agents "We're like, retarded around here. We don't remember nothing."

Just a small sample of what I deal with...

People ask me how I deal with it, and I tell them the truth-I just get rip-roaring drunk every night so that I can forget, however briefly, the terrible day I just had, and the fact that I have to go back to it the very next day.

I've been hospitalized with severe stomach problems attributed to this job.

I've gotten severe migranes and vomiting because of this job.

My fingernails and cuticles are a bloody, chewed-up wasteland.

I've lost so much weight since starting here, people talk and whisper and say I'm anorexic.

Anyone hiring???"
01:04 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 19, 2004

>> XXX is a terrible employer

[ Rant ]

Anonymous shares a tale of a fool gone out of control...

"Here are some examples of why I hate XXX (formerly YYY) and it's CEO (the boss):

Formerly YYY

The boss is on steriods (he's an ex-boby builder)

He yells at people all the time, very unprofessional

We were expected to stay in the office very late (which is fine in normal cases of OT, but I got my work done!)

The boss wanted to do a swimsuit calendar for our past/present borrowers (???) Who wants to see their loan agent or processor in a bikini? He only asked certain people to be in it. Of course I don't weigh 105 pounds so I wasn't asked. But my very attractive friend was asked right in front of me. And my very attractive friend was sexually harrassed numerous times by him.

Recently, in a department meeting in his office, he misunderstood an email to him and started saying their department was "a bunch of idiots", "fucking stupid", "fucking morons".

The boss would get so mad (or pumped up on steroids i guess) and he'd pound his fist on his glass desk. He broke the desk in front of an employee.

The boss has already been sued for slander. However no one wants to take him to court because his lawyer was the one from the dog mauling case here in california.

50 people in the last year have left the company because of it's horrible "culture"

We'd have a company meeting EVERY morning to discuss (well the boss yelled about it) something like "Why our mail has the old address from 6mo. ago on it". A branch of Olympia is at that old address. They bring any stray mail to the new office. BIG DEAL!! is that something to yell about and waste 20 min. of my time???
After the daily morning meeting there are meetings with each dumbass loan agent... thats 8 dumbasses at 15-30min a piece. It's only supposed to be a 10 min meeting but they're dumbasses. So by the time I start my JOB at my desk it's almost noon. NO WONDER THEY WANTED US TO STAY TILL 6:30 or 7!! To make up for them wasting my time!!

The loan agents have no resepect for the processors and would yell at them for their OWN mistakes!

I got fired cause i wasn't "A right fit for the company" - why because I'm not a model like half or the people the boss hired??? Or because I speak up? Thats not a legitimate reason to fire me! I had just bought a house and a new car!!!

OH, and they would send us to classes to raise our morale and self esteem. These classes would teach us to speak up and not be afraid. We'd go back to work and get beat down for speaking up.

And the person that fired me (HR) left the company 2 weeks later... just walked out of the office.

The boss would always flaunt his new houses, new boats, (new hairplugs!) around the office and say how much money he's making. Gee thats great

Another friend of mine that works there has documentation of all the rude and demeaning emails the boss sent to her. They won't fire her because she has soooo much on them to take to court. She was even told that "the boss is out to get her".

It's a horrible horrible company and most loan agents don't know what the hell they're doing. I'd advise EVERYONE to stay away. GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!
god i hate them

Ok i'm done - that felt good"
01:08 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 18, 2004

>> Can anyone read?

[ Rant ]

Anonymous finds that how to use the internet hasn't quite caught on with these fools

"How many millions of times have you emailed someone a question, only to have the person's reply be completely off base?

For example, I wrote this email today:

"Hi XXX,

When would you like this to be mailed? Thanks."

And then I got this response:

"Yes, thank you." -- XXX

Thanks buddy!

I swear, if 8-year-olds can send emails and use instant messaging, why is that adults with college degrees cannot? I have had countless people ask for my email address, only to hear this:

"OK, so it's www...."

No, that's what we all a website!! From now on I'm just going to tell them that is my email address, just so I don't have to deal with them.

My boss is keen on discussing emails after they've been sent. For example, she'll send an email about a new procedure. The next day, she'll insist on having a meeting about it, at which she'll inevitably say, "Did everyone read my email?" Then, she will read the entire email to us verbatim. She prints it out and actually brings it with her to the meeting. I cannot stress enough how ridiculous this is to watch and listen."
01:05 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 17, 2004

>> Email says it all

[ Boss ]

Email Girl shares an email exchange between fools...

"(Stressing the Executive as he does)Executive Vice President says to the President of the company:

This is ridiculous. These two have a lot of nerve continuing to think they run this business and questioning my business decisions. I have had it with both of them. They are a support group and that is all. It is time we have them report to either Mr. VP or myself, preferably Mr. VP. I do not, and will not answer to these two for anything I do regarding this business.

They are both replaceable.

BEGIN >>

-----Original Message-----
From: (Stressing the Executive as he does)Executive Vice President
Sent: Thursday, March 11, 2004 10:21 AM
To: Mister Boss Man; Erin
Subject: RE: Miss X

Don't worry about who she is, I had her added.

-----Original Message-----
From: Mister Boss Man
Sent: Thursday, March 11, 2004 10:20 AM
To: Erin
Cc: (Stressing the Executive as he does)Executive Vice President
Subject: RE: Miss X

? who is she?

-----Original Message-----
From: Erin
Sent: Thursday, March 11, 2004 10:18 AM
To: Mister Boss Man
Subject: Miss X

Does this person still need to have active email?

-E

< 01:15 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 16, 2004

>> Hopes he don't get his pHd

[ Boss ]

Dongdong finds that a pHD doesn't exactly equal intelligence...

"I work for this pHD student who doesn't know a thing.

In the lab, there is this cabinet that we used to store sterile bottles. These bottles were steam sterilized at high temperature and pressure, a.k.a. autoclaving. Every bottle had a autoclave confirmation tape on it which will turn into black stripes once it's autoclaved.

One day this pHD boss of mine took out one of the bottles with striped confirmation tape, look into it and doubted that they are sterile. The reason was he saw water droplets in them.

It doesn't seem to occur to him that there will be condensation after heating at 121C !!"
01:21 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 15, 2004

>> What "worker productivity" really means

[ Boss ]

KAC has a few comments about worker productivity and how its been getting abused at the hospital they work out...

"I see statements by Bush admin spokesmen all the time congratulating themselves on how "worker productivity" has gone up. What that means, in English, is the bosses have figured out how to squeeze a lot more work out of the existing people, instead of hiring more. And with the stagnant job market, people are so desperate to keep their jobs they'll put up with absolutely any kind of shit, and do the work of two or three people, just to stay employed.

In the hospital where I work, patient load has increased 23% over the last year.

Instead of hiring enough people to take up the slack, they schedule just enough people to be staffed barely adequately if everything goes right. Then if somebody calls in sick or goes on vacation, or has a death in the family, or is just so fed up of working short-staffed they decide to take a mental health day (you know, that kind of COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED stuff that, according to clueless bosses, almost NEVER happens), we're completely screwed. Our ward supervisor will try to guilt somebody into picking up overtime to fill in the gap; more likely, we'll just work in a living hell with a dozen patients to one orderly and call lights going off like crazy.

And let me tell you something: I NEVER take the overtime. And I encourage my fellow workers never to do it, either. It's just enabling the fucking pigs who run that shithole to get by without hiring more help. After I've already done the work of two people for an 8-hour shift, I'm not interested in giving up even one second of my blessed time out in the real world, where I'm treated like a human being. I'm not in charge of hiring or making out the schedule, so I have no obligation to take up the slack for the bosses' fuck-ups. The management who are responsible for the hospital being so understaffed ought to be out on the floor giving baths and wiping up shit, until they hire enough people to make the place humanly tolerable.

Just a couple of weeks ago, we got an email from management saying they'd OK'd some new hires because of the 23% increase in patient load. I did the math, and the new hires amounted to around a 14% increase. They were patting themselves on the back for hiring barely more than half enough people to compensate for the increase--after they waited a year to get off their sorry, worthless asses and get around to doing it.

I hope a Pol Pot comes to this country; but instead of going after people with glasses, he should go after anyone who wears a necktie to work or sits behind a desk."
01:13 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 14, 2004

>> Where should I start?

[ Fools ]

Lots of Stories :-) writes in about a driver that perhaps needs to get replaced... hahaha...

"I used to own a specialty restoration company - home improvements for people with major disasters ... I have LOTS of good stories. I ended up selling my business, and it is hard to say which was the straw that broke the camel's back, but here is a good candidate:

Our employees drive vans back and forth from office to jobsite in the course of their jobs, and they are largely (and sadly) unsupervised. I had an employee pick up a van from the body shop, where we had it getting repaired from an accident the week before, run a red light a half-mile later and wreck into another car.

My driver was out on workers comp, and the woman he hit sued ME!

I was already down one other van because a (different) driver wrecked it while doing "side-work". He didn't want me to "know he was doing side-work (moonlighting) so he didn't report the accident, even though he later claimed it wasn't his fault."
01:17 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 13, 2004

>> Company run by mental patients

[ Rant ]

Anonymous has a tale of a company gone mental...

"My last job was one that I really enjoyed. I received my work via email and worked alone in my own vehicle. The only time I had to step foot in the office was to turn in video tapes or pick something up. Life was good. When I got the job I was informed by my manager that summer months were brutally busy and to expect 60 hour weeks. I was all for the overtime and had no complaints. Unfortunately the longer I worked there the more I learned about the company, specifically its owner(s). When summer finally rolled around the 60 hour work weeks were strangely absent. At one point I actually had to file for unemployment as a "full time employee" due to a lack of hours. Let me step back and paint a picture of the office environment for you. The office was about 15 miles away and was very nice. The first thing I noticed when I walked in was there were two bitter looking older women at the front desk who looked like identical twins. Come to find out one was the owners wife and the other, well as far as I can tell she was the wife's best friend. The other thing that stood out was these two dogs in the office. Now I like dogs but prefer a dog to be a dog, not a gerbil with a collar. These puffy white ankle biting prima donna canines also appeared to be twins. This was starting to get weird. The dogs had the run of the place and even had little doggie beds up on the counter where clients stood. As I said, I like dogs but on more than one instance felt like punting these hyperactive hamsters as far as my boot would send them. On my first week I was paired with the lead individual in my department. He told me up front, do not go into the office. Period. Only show up late at night after hours to drop stuff off etc. Out of sight out of mind was his suggestion and told me straight up the two old farts in the front office ran the show and would just as soon cut you and watch you bleed than give you the time of day. I took this advice to heart and did all my business there after 11pm just to be sure. What these women actually did other than gripe, back stab, gossip and eat I have no idea and really don't care to. Bear with me, this gets much worse. Now to the owner. This individual is filthy rich and only wants to get richer. He's the type that can't have enough toys and will do anything to get them. I finally found out why there wasn't the work I was promised. This clown was caught over billing clients and word spread. One by one they stopped calling. Did this stop this psychopath? Hardly. He blamed anyone and everyone for the lack of clients but himself. This individual is seriously mental. On more occasions than I can count he would throw temper tantrums while clients were in the office. These fits included screaming, cursing and throwing objects. Also breaking things that belongs to his employees that they had on their desk. He'd fly into a rage, curse you like a drunken sailor and pick up the model ship on your desk and smash it to the floor. Thankfully for him I didn't have a desk in the office. I'm pretty sure not a day went by when he missed a liquid lunch. He reeked of whiskey all the time and was glassy eyed and nuts. Come to find out he was also being investigated by a state agency for fraud but again this wasn't his fault. He even sent out a Crown Royal induced email to us all calling us no better than common street walkers or trained monkeys and threatening us if we ever said anything to the state agency about him. He blamed us for the lack of business and not the fact he over billed and burned every bridge he came across. This however didn't stop him from vacationing, buying boats, RV's and showing up in brand new SUV's as big as the office. He's a dillusional paranoid alcoholic psychotic in need of medication and therapy and will step on anyone to get what he wants. He only hired his friends to work in the office. One of them was in charge of new accounts. In the year and a half I worked there this guy never brought in one that I'm aware of. He seemed to spend all his time eating lunch and drinking with the owner. This individual also got my supervisor fired by partially hearing a phone conversation he was having, believing my supervisor was talking to someone about a job and running into the owners office and telling on him. He was fired moments later.

This is the class of individuals running the show. At one point they decided not to renew the lease on the office (apparently it was cutting into yacht funding) and moved the office to his residence. The first time I went there to drop off a tape I was speechless. This clown lived in a castle. I'm talking HUGE. And here we were not getting any hours because he drove all our clients away. There was a sign on the door saying to remove your shoes before entering. Of course I walked right in with my steel-toed boots on, did my thing and left. Dropping by after hours was no longer an option now that his house was the office. That and the drive was now closer to 25 miles one way for me since he decided he should live in the woods miles from civilization. Apparently there aren't houses big enough closer to town. The company was so cheap there were times where two or three employees were working the same area and they expected us all to share a single room. When I say the same area we're still talking an additional 120 miles round trip from where you're working to the hotel after working a full day just so they could save money on a hotel room. Obviously they didn't consider the fact that at 34 cents a mile and $15/hour they paid more for us to do that than to get a Motel 6 where you were working. So on more than one occasion I spent the night in my vehicle rather than drive that far. To top it off, to replace my former manager they hired their daughters fiance who had no experience at all in this field of work. Obviously it was more important to make sure their daughter's man had more money than we made to do nothing. Last Thanksgiving I had no work but was expecting at least the holiday pay that the employee manual said we got for the holiday. Apparently we missed the unwritten portion stating if you didn't work the day before and the day after the holiday you weren't eligible for the holiday pay. I think they made this up but what do I know.

Also I was notified my health insurance was dropped because I wasn't working enough hours. Like this was my fault. Maybe if the owner was on Prozac or Lithium the work would still be there. Needless to say I'm no longer part of that circus. Too bad because the job itself was fun as long as you stayed away from the people in charge. Believe me I'm leaving a lot out because this is already too long."
01:14 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 12, 2004

>> Is there a cure for this office ailment?

[ Work ]

Miss Behavin writes in about a serious office ailment plagueing our country... hell all countries I bet... the "LeaveEarlies" you all know them and you all have worked with them... now what to do about them...

"There seems to be a new disease plagueing the offices of this country. And I have penned this term "LeaveEarlies". Severity of cases can differ. But we all have come in contact with DCAthese types and unfortunately I am currently having to deal with one. Do not fear, you either are afflicted by this disease or you aren't. It is not contagious but within a week of employment you can spot the infected. The LeaveEarlies are an annoying breed and for some reason GET AWAY WITH IT REGULARLY. Why is everyone scared to confront these people or say that beautiful word "no"? For instance, I was hired as a part time office worker and am now covering 2-3 times a week for our full time LeaveEarly. The "I have to leave early because..." excuses have ranged from exercise classes (can you believe it!), psychiatrist appointments, multiple tooth pulls, meeting with the divorce lawyers, "dizziness" spells, mechanical work, body scans, intown relatives, falls on the ice, to pack moving boxes, tax returns, and on and on. I realize now that I was not hired to DO a job. I was hired to COVER for a woman who is never there. And if the company was to say anything to her she would scream discrimination. I guess it's OUR fault she let herself balloon up to 338 lbs and now has trouble walking. I'm not the healthiest eater either but I sure don't have a Coke washed down with a sloppy creme stick as a morning snack. Which by the way, is followed by an 8 hour Munch-A-Thon of chocolate covered peanuts.

The problem with LeaveEarlies is they love their time off. They're partial to long weekends and 3 week recoveries for a paper cut. Sometimes you get advanced notice but most of the time it's an "emergency". Although I can tell ya right now if I had an emergency popping up twice a week they would fire me ASAP. But her? No. I requested for two consecutive days off with 6 months notice and you would have thought I was asking for a kidney. Then today I got blind sided by a doozey. Our LeaveEarly is whining SHE wants that weekend off. No notice. She just wants it. *Insert her whining here* Apparently I'm not entitled to a private life and in her little hypocondriac world, must have sucked up the two best days of the year. Whatever. So not only do LeaveEarlies feel entitled to their calender but YOURS too!

Don't even get me started on the "LateFromLunch" disease. I'd love to tell you more about it's diagnosis but I can't, I'm babysitting a 4 line phone for someone who left to get a roast beef one hour and 18 minutes ago. So please excuse me while I go such on an envelope seal for nourishment."
01:00 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 11, 2004

>> May I speak with John Doe please?

[ Rant ]

Wait while I transfer you to HELL needs to vent about all the fools that call in and don't understand the concept of... who do you want to speak to...

"I currently have two jobs, a part-time one at a video game company (which i love) and a full-time one at a publicity agency as a receptionnist. While it's not a bad job, In still have to put up with morons who call and give me a hard time.

Today (and this kind of thing happens everyday), some guy called and told me: "Someone from your company called us." I asked him whom, he didn't know.
I give him the usual "Sir, if you don't give me a name, I can't transfer you to anyone of the 250 employees."

Then he blurts out "Mr. XYZ!"

So I tell him we have no one to that name working here. he tells me "No, that's MY name. So who called us??"

ARGH! How the heck am I supposed to know? Everyday it's the same. OR they'll call and ask for ERIC. Which one of our 16 Erics? He dunno. The worst happened to my sweet co-worker, C, who was asked the same type of question and actually took the time to ask about ten questions such as "what department? what's her position? who else does she work with?" and then , after ten minutes the caller goes "I have an extension number on my sheet, do you think it could help?"

I DUNNO; DO YOU???"
01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 10, 2004

>> Oh, the hypocrisy!

[ Boss ]

*sigh*tiredofthebs has a manager who is perfect... too bad its only because all managers think they are perfect?

"First of all, I'm not perfect! I don't believe anyone is. Anyone who tells you differenly, is full of sh*t! Period!

So here's the thing. I basically come to work everday and feel the need to rant about this one particular individual who is a total hypocrite, to my poor co-workers. Day in and day out, he/she (who will remain nameless and sexless! Ha!) acts as though she/he's perfect...yet displays acts of pure stupidity to their role as a "Manager."

First act of "stupidity" was when they had just started working at the company, asked for a week or so off. If this was arrangement made at time of hire then hey, that's none of my business, right? Wrong! They didn't ask for this when they were hired. They asked for a week off a week after they started working here. The excuse for the week off, you ask? "Best friends wedding." Oh, please. Give me a small break! You get hired as a manager and you need to leave for a week, two weeks later? Well, it was granted. First time this particular person got their way.

Don't you hate when people talk down to you? Make you act like your dumb? This person does that and more. You can ask a simple question. The response from this supposed "manager?" Laughter. That's right...this "supervisor" laughs. Nevermind explaining in simple terms. You're practically mocked. Oh and coming in at least 5-10 min late (not everyday...I might add.) Suddenly you get lectured about coming in on time. As if you aren't already feeling like crap coming all the way in to work everyday when you live almost an hour away. Guess what folks, two months roll around and this same person who told you "come in on time" comes in 30-45 minutes late! Every damn day! Talk about being a damn hypocrite! *sigh*"
01:15 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 09, 2004

>> Barnyard Noises

[ Rant ]

Mensch works with a fool with many talents... that of annoying everyone...

"I'm a former state government employee. So glad I escaped! During my brief time, I worked in "cubeland" with coworkers on either side. For the most part, I just tuned out the phone calls, conversations and associated noises - it's amazing what you can ignore - except for one person next to me.

Barnyard Bob was so loud that people 4 - 5 cubes away would ask about the noise level. The best way to describe the assorted noises would be more horse than cow, more pig than chicken. He would snort, grunt, smack and whiny at least 10 times an hour. Eating with him was a special pleasure - I was able to enjoy the visual portion of his lunch as well as listen to him chew as his mouth was always open.

Someone once described him as being the only person she knew who could smack his lips while eating a banana. I'm just glad that I'm back working in an office environment where I have an office and door."
01:13 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 08, 2004

>> My Famous Friend

[ Fools ]

Datgirl has a fool that doesn't seem to understand context of a conversation... and while you are at it can you have the Dr. come check the site out...

"I work in a small SC town in a grocery store mainily with people younger than I am. One of my new co-workers had asked me if she should divorce her husband. Having also worked with her mother I had heard the stories and I told her I would .Then a few days later I was watching Dr. Phil an episode about keeing the family together. The next day at work I see her and say Darla, Dr.Phil says you need to work on your marriage so try keeing it together. She looks at me in awe, leans over and whispers you talked to Dr. Phil about me?"
01:19 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 07, 2004

>> Sleeps under her desk and has a hangover everyday

[ Fools ]

Alexis finds the secret to success in a can of Coke, Alka Seltzer, a nap and one fool...

"I had to move to a different department because I was so fed up with my former supervisor. She would come in late every day, if she decided to come in at all. After an hour of work, she would complain her headache was killing her, and then she would disappear for a while. I found out where she would go to one day when I went into her office to find a paper I had left behind. I was sorting through the papers on her desk and heard a moaning coming from somewhere. Quickly I found her under her desk curled up in a fetal position. She had been sleeping on the job every single day for an hour or two. I confronted her but she had no apologies whatsoever. The very next day she had the nerve to ask me to wake her up. Because I liked her personally and had considered her a friend, for a week or so I went along with it and would wake her up at the time requested. Then she started asking me to bring her a can of Coke at the same time. I found out she was pouring Alka Seltzer into a can of Coke because it is supposed to get rid of a hangover. So she would sit and nurse her hangover for the rest of the day and leave early without doing any work, which was promptly assigned to me by another supervisor who was in cahoots with her. One day I threw a silent fit over the extra work given to me and the injustice of it all, and I decided not to wake her up anymore. That day she missed an important meeting but everyone forgave her right away and she didn't get in trouble. And why were they so forgiving? Because believe it or not, everyone put her up on a pedestal and thought she could do no wrong---she had been the previous years' Employee of the Year!! And she is still with the company! The very sight of her made me ill. I have since left the company in disgust."
01:02 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 06, 2004

>> CFO Qualifications

[ Boss ]

Anonymous seems to work with a fool that has made a game of tossing boogers... isn't that lovely... how professional...

"Well this beats 'em all! The company that I work for has recently hired a new CFO and do you know what this CFO does in the office? He digs his finger way up inside his nose, picks something out and then looks and checks it out before he attempts to flick it off his finger,with employees scrambling to get out of the way. This happens in the general office and foyer area of our offices. What to do about this other than winch and hope that you can make it to the washroom before you lose all your cookies. As far as I am concerned, this is absolutely "unacceptable behaviour" but when this is attached to a newly hired CFO, I am aghast. What does this say about the other executives of this company? Not much."
01:13 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 05, 2004

>> Small Office - Big Noises

[ Rant ]

Need Ta Vent has a simple request for this fool... SHUT IT...

"I just have to let off steam! My coworker, whom I will call Oklahoma Crude, irritates me to no end. Things have gotten worse since we moved to a tiny office where noises carry like crazy! Day after day, we are all subjected to (1) disgusting, disgusting pronounced and real phlegmy smoker's hacks (2)audible burping (3)grunts and groans each time this person moves (4)constant tales of woe about every problem in this person's life - most problems brought on by bad choices, mind you (5) exagerrated loud yawning ("Ya-ya-ya-ya-yaaaaaaaaa" style) (6)loud, sharp slurping from the ever-present latte cup ... well, I could go on and on but won't bore you all. Blend all these things with a dowdy presence and "mother hen" attitude toward all of us other co-workers who are all apparently quite a bit smarter and more refined in comportment and you get me SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMING!!!"
01:07 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 04, 2004

>> Grunt Supports the Runt (small personality person)

[ Boss ]

Grunt - Level 1 finds that his clueless supervisor is a fool... surprise surprise...

"I have a supervisor who "facilitates" a program our company calls Winning at Work, but which the employees call Whining at Work. She is clueless. She has been working with the company for her entire adult life. Received her promotions by marrying (and later divorcing) a guy that was related to a member of the board of directors. She has little to no computer skills. Now is going to a weekend college to learn communication skills (and computer skills) that all the secretaries already have years of experience.

She takes credit for other peoples' ideas and work. She has a nervous eye tic everything she talks with them and never looks a person directly in the face -- could it be she might not be telling the truth -- duh!

She avoids controversy at all costs so there are major morale (cat-fighting) problems in our area. She faces up to nothing. She makes no attempts to help others with their careers unless it helps hers.

When review times come, she begins the review process by emphasizing the negative. Pits one employee against the next.

Total moron!"
01:04 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 03, 2004

>> My boss = my daughter?

[ Boss ]

Maribou Sue brings chills with this incredibly short story...

"Recently, my boss and I went to a tradeshow where she got hair extensions and a spray-on tan. Since the show, she's been coming to my cube and saying "Mommy, brush my hair"... and she's dead serious. It happens about 3-4 times a day. Thankfully, she's out of town today."

01:12 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 02, 2004

>> New Ideal Gas Law

[ Boss ]

Gas Law Abider finds that even in an educated environment... a fool can survive...

"I worked in a chemistry lab that made and built batteries for the aerospace industry. One of our basic tests was an acid-base titration to determine the amount of KOH in the sample. We use the Ideal Gas Law to make our calculations which is practically the first law any student learns in chemistry class. Enter the fool, sadly he is the coordinator of the lab which leads one to believe he has a chemistry degree and/or chemistry training. This apparently was not the case. The fool was busy not doing his work and he wanted to 'pretty' up the lab. He decided to start with our titration worksheet and make it nicer and better to use. That part sounds okay, but the way he prettied up the sheet was to change the Ideal Gas Law! He didn't like the numerator/denominator set up for some reason and decided to separate all of the factors with a / which of course is a symbol for division! Why multiply your factors when you can just divide them all up and make them look pretty?!"
01:10 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

May 01, 2004

>> Haste Makes Waste (of your fingers)

[ Boss ]

shop_monkey finds that some fools are innocent people trying to do too much... stay away from pointy objects people...

"A while back I worked in a manufacturing plant and was charged with fabricating custom parts for our production line. One day I had a diffucult task of modifying (correcting) a part which required the addition of a 2 inch wide hole. This was done with a drill press and a hole saw. Each part was secured and clamped to a jig and the hole drilled safely but slowly.

My shop foreman who was normally a decent guy was in a bad mood that day. He didn't think I was moving fast enough and proceeded to show me how to drill the hole while holding the part by hand and avoiding the time consuming safety steps like clamping and securing the work. Well he didnt complete the first hole. As he brought the drill press down it yanked the part sideways catching his hand underneath the spinning teeth of the hole saw. I cant really say how bad it mangled him because my safety glasses were covered with blood. I wasnt there much longer after that. And I still have all my fingers."
01:18 AM - Posted by Disgruntled