March 30, 2004

>> Career-Limiting Move

[ Work ]

Plebian Girl submits a letter than only a fool could write...

"Okay, this is great but long. This story is from my friend. She prefaced it with:

Look what a dumb-ass writer sent to the executive vp of client services (his and my boss's boss). Shame this guy doesn't apply this much effort to his work! [all names have been changed to protect the foolish]


"Dear Barbie [vp of client services]:

Ok, it's been a while since I've sent a note but I feel I can contain this no longer: We are heading towards a human resources disaster if Jane doesn't change the way she talks to people here. It's 'her way or the highway' and that's just not right considering she's weeks old. Her manner is exceedingly heavy-handed.

Her attitude has been some of the coldest and most disrespectful towards the professionals she has around her that I have ever seen. While I hope my original assessment that she'll be of some use will be borne out, in the past couple of weeks she has turned into a monster with an especially cold way of dealing with the people she needs to get the work done...trust me when I say that that's the last thing this group needs. This is just no way to start things off and I don't react well to being spoken to like I'm the kitchen help...and, judging by the others, I haven't experienced nearly the worst of it.

Barbie, I know I can be a royal pain in the ass, but I also have a knack for cutting straight to the point and being a 'straight shooter' when it comes to problems. If she keeps it up, tempers are going to blow and then all this place needs in order to fully recreate the Exodus is a guest appearance by Moses.

I for one will not be cowed by this emotional abuse nor will I stand idly by while she tosses her temper at the 'help' like hand grenades; there is absolutely no call for it. Furthermore, having our account rep help the client trash us in a review meeting (they need no help) is highly counter-productive and wins her no friends, but Ann and I went through that exact thing last week...I'd never seen that before in my life and I cannot imagine you ever condoning such a display, especially since she left the meeting three times 'to make phone calls', oblivious to what the client may or may not have thought about that...it certainly didn't stop her from making comments like "well that looks stupid" etc. when she came back into the review. In a word, shameful. I felt truly nauseous afterwards.

Barbie, I have no doubt she's of some worth to you, but the crew down here will buckle under this kind of heavy-handed treatment...I'm not exaggerating; several people have come to me to ask 'what's the deal...can she do that?' simply because they know I may be able to provide some form of an answer...they've been on the receiving end and it's shaken them. Ann already carries the weight of the account so I suppose they feel they can't burden her. And now that I've experienced her foul temper and brass-knuckle inter-personal style myself, I see their point. God alone knows what kind of treatment her assistant (who seems very capable)[poster's note: this is my friend who sent this on to me] has had to endure, though I have seen flashes at times so it's no trick to guess.

We have some real talent down here and you know yourself how important it is to maintain stability on such a large and all-encompassing account. Losing/firing me is no loss, but what if it's someone more important? What if it's two...three...then four and five and all within the span of a month or two? That's what you're looking at...I kid you not. I'm sure the temptation is to think 'oh, they're just over-reacting to a new senior level person' or 'good, they needed a shake-up' but I assure you that this goes way, way beyond that. This is just downright rude and the only people it benefits are headhunters.


Still doing what I can and hoping you'll understand.
Submitted with all due respect;
Big-Ass Fool"

Needless to say, this guy packed his bags a few weeks after this career-limiting move and sent an equally maudlin and melodramatic good-bye note to the company. His boss might have been a bitch, but he wins the prize for dumb-ass fool."
01:18 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 29, 2004

>> Why am I smarter than my boss?

[ Boss ]

Dreaology sadly proposes an important question... the answer is... your boss wouldn't classify as a fool if you weren't... ok seriously though...

"I'm a grant writer. They hired me to write grants. My grants are truthful and human related. My boss likes how I write, his boss doesn't. My boss told me to write the grants, his boss told him I'm not good enough! The grants they write, sound like text books and get no funding. The grants I write, get thousands of dollars and help out at-risk youth. My boss, told me to take charge of the process, his boss said no! I sent my bosses a "recycled" grant for another foundation. My boss's boss is pissed at how it's written. She hated it! Guess what, she wrote it! She hated it! She wrote it! I laughed! I'm putting it in the mail tomorrow! I forged her name on it! And I didn't change it, it still sucks! Why am I smarter than my boss!"
01:12 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 28, 2004

>> Thanks for the bonus

[ Rant ]

Blink finds that a bonus system run by fools well isn't quite all it was expected to be...

"I used to work in an off-license, not the most demanding of jobs i'll grant you. we were poorly paid, and even full time staff were put on 39 hour contracts to save the company from paying us all that extra stuff like pensions, health and medical expenses.

anyway, they always had these odd bonus schemes, most of them weren't obtainable as they would set a target, put the item on promotion, and expect you to sell 6 times the usual amount to get close to the bonus system.

before that though they had a system where you got points based on the amount of stuff that you sold as an individual. and after a while you could select something in exchange from a catalogue. you would have thought that we would have known about it, you know from the monthly statements that we recieved at the shop.

we'll in the end the changed the system and everyone was going to use there points until they were told that the boss had used them all and brought her sister a really nice stereo system with our points. that's nice, what did we get???? yep nothing."
01:08 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 27, 2004

>> Coworkers comments about weight

[ Rant ]

Someone writes in with a question for you all... who is the real fool here?

"Does anyone think that coworkers should be able to make comments about your weight? I am 5'3, 150 pounds. I am somewhat chubby and I know it, but certain coworkers are claiming the clothes I wear cause me to be awful to look at. They claim to be offended. I was on Weight Watchers this past fall, but I dropped off it around the holidays. The reason this happened is because I wore a sweater that didn't look very flattering on me, but it was too late to change it as I was running out the door. OK, I admit to needing to excercize and all but I am not the worst offender out there. I see many more people worse off than me, but still, I know I can NEVER tell them that! This one girl said: "Well, she's just a fat girl who doesn't know how to dress-someone should tell her." And to day, the girl who said that, the mail room guy (who always used to be nice to me), and the woman who I was sitting in front of all got to talking about exercise routines - probably to give me a hint or something! My weight is something I am aware of and am going to attend to but now I feel I will be doing it because of them. The nerve of these people is astonishing to me...if they have to deal with someone's personal issues, it should be about someone who doesn't bathe enough or has bad breath or something. My weight is not something that should be affecting their life. What do you think? No rude responses please."
01:02 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 26, 2004

>> Stupidity is an International Problem

[ Work ]

BureaucraticPingPong finds that the fools are spreading fast... there can be no stopping them...

"I work for a fairly large Canadian power utility. Unfortunately, we are a crown corporation (owned / operated by the government), which leads to incredible bureaucratic incompetence, back stabbing, and generally foolish decision making.

Here's my story. I have a "rough" budget of approx. one million a year (that's about two dollars American BTW) to do the field work that I do. However, the province that I work in is very diverse and rugged, with extreme differences depending on which region you are in. Since I work in one of the worst regions, the cost of doing my work is understandably more than that of my peers in the "easy" regions. We are presently in year end budget reconciliation. Last week I get a phone call from my boss's, boss's boss (way high up the food chain, get it??). This complete idiot proceeds to ream me out because he tells me that I'm $300,000.00 over budget!! I tell him that according to my budget estimation from the beginning of the year, I'm within about $500 of the approx. $800,000.00 spent (as far as I'm concerned this is an amazing accomplishment). I ask him what "Budget" is he talking about?? You see, this six figure management simpleton with no accounting experience decided to use an "average cost per unit" for the entire province as the basis for HIS budget, rather than using a regional formula. Being a say it like it is kinda guy, I told him it was unfair to use an "average budget" rather than the budget I submitted at year start. His response, "I guess you'll just have to become more efficient"........What????? If I could become more efficient, I would simply lower his average that he seems to love to use, thus I would never be able to obtain it !!!!

Now here's the kicker. This manager's peer (another management idiot), unbeknownst to him, turned around and terminated a field position in the "easy" region as a cost savings measure. What did they do with those extra duties, well they divided them up and gave the remaining two of us those duties. So now I have even more to do, in the worst region, with artificially less money, while trying to be more "efficient" to appease this moron manager. What's worse, my direct manager sides with him, because he knows if he doesn't, his job is on the line. I guess this is a no win for me and I'll be looking for a new job within a year or two of not being able to achieve his budget !! How moronic !!"
01:10 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 25, 2004

>> Call yourself a hardware engineer?

[ Fools ]

Stefan finds that not only are users that are fools but these can be created by people whose job is to help them...

"At a company I used to work for I overheard one of our service desk guys taking a call from a user, she was complaining that everytime she inserted a CD Rom it was pinching her fingers and she had problems keeping the CD in place. Intrigued, I said I would go and have a look. I visited the user and asked her to show me the problem. She pressed the eject button on the CD Rom drive, the tray popped out and the CD fell out, my colleague had installed the CD drive upside down!! Just for kicks, I asked her to show me how she was inserting the CD in the drive, it was the funniest thing I ever saw, a modern day version of Arkwright and the till in Open All Hours (A very funny British comedy). I re-inserted the drive the correct way up and went on my way. It still makes me chuckle today, several years later."
01:14 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 24, 2004

>> Proper Tools for the Job

[ Boss ]

Wouldn't You Like to Know? shares one of those issues that to me is obvious... fools don't think the way the rest of us do...

"I am a Graphic Artist. I work on a Macintosh computer all day long in a little windowless dungeon with a boss who has done this job for almost 30 years and still does not know how to work the programs properly or for that matter, effectively. She has a scanner and believe it or not, they (her two bosses) don't think I need one. "Bertha (not her true name) can do your scanning for you."

RIGHT! A photo ... I need the upper left 1/4 inch square scanned. What do I get? The whole damn photograph! If I need it in color, I get it in black and white and vise versa. Bertha is too chickenshit to tell Bevis (not his real name) to get me a scanner, that we are wasting valuable time.

We are a multi-billion dollar company and a hundred dollars to make my job more efficient and less stressful is a waste of money.

Stone-age politics...yeah they are from the stone age. Can't seem to get out of it. Damn dinosaurs!"
01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 23, 2004

>> Let 'em rip newbie...

[ Fools ]

Kate has a short fool entry yet still makes you wonder where do people like this come from?

"OK, so I'm sitting in my office and having a lovely chat with the bloke who sits next to me. He just moved into our group and I decided to give him a chance, I've been the 'new kid' before. So anyways, he tells me about his wife of 5 years and I tell him about my family etc etc. And then he says 'Wait,' in the middle of a sentance... and I look at him, and he looks as if he is listening for something. Thats about when he let out the biggest, most disgusting fart Ive ever encountered. He looked at me, smiled, and said 'You better get used to that dearie, it will be happening quite a bit!'"
01:05 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 22, 2004

>> To read or not to read...

[ Rant ]

RadioGirl finds that figuring out what a fool wants is not even worth the effort...

"I used to read books at work because I did production and sometimes there just wasn't anything to do or I couldn't use the equipment for some reason, but I had to stay in a certain area of the building and be available. So I read books or industry magazines. One day the owner's wife saw me sitting in a chair [not even slouching like the receptionsist did] reading a book. She told her husband and he told the General Manager who called me into his office and told me I wasn't to read any more books. That the powers that be didn't think it looked professional.

The studio was in use by someone else, so once again I was sitting in my little designated area [yes, there was my work area - the studio - and the area I had to stay in when not in the studio in case there was last second production - the lobby which was close to the studio, but the owner's wife also thought it looked good to have more people in the reception area], minding my posture, and staring at the wall when the owner and his wife passed through. The next day the GM called me into his office and told me there was a complaint about me sitting in that area not doing anything to look busy.

So I was kinda stuck because I wasn't allowed to read, couldn't use the phone, couldn't get in the studio, and couldn't go into another part of the offices to kill time.

Then it got really tricky, because new software production was coming and I was given the manual for it and had to be able to use it straight out of the box. I started reading it in the studio. Even when other people were using that studio, I would stay there and read the manual and take notes since I would have to teach everyone else how to use it the day after it was installed.

Unfortunately for me the owner and his wife must have come by because that afternoon I was called into the GM's office and reprimanded for reading again. I told the GM that I was reading the instruction manual for the new software - that I was told by him that I had to be able to use the new software the second we got it. His response, that may be so, but he had instructions that I was not to read while at work, so I would have to find some other way to learn the software.

I never solved the issue of looking busy in the reception area when I had nothing to do, but I did solve the problem of not being able to read the instruction manual while in the building. I took it home with me and read it and billed the station my 'after hours' rates."
01:14 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 21, 2004

>> She thinks we don't know...

[ Fools ]

Tara shows that fools aren't the swiftest folk around...

"I work in a bank and this one woman I work with drives us nuts. I'll call her "S". S is married and in her mid-40's with no children. She is having an affair with an employee of another local bank. She thinks that we have no clue abou this even though she is constantly having whispered conversations on the phone with him and e-mailing him all day. She e-mails him telling him EVERY microscopic detail about her day. It is amusing that the whole building knows about this affair and she really thinks she is being secretive and we don't know."
01:12 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 20, 2004

>> "Let me draw you a map of that..."

[ Boss ]

Mr. Nice Guy finds a new breed of fool... what appears to be a well intentioned fool gone awry...

"The worst kind of people in the world are the ones that "mean well". The ones that are "basically good people", but that talk for hours about pointless crap.

Enter my boss, "The Sad", or MR. S, as I'll refer to him in this story.

This sum-bitch defies human comprehension. He is a genius, and by "genius", I mean his ability to retain information would make a mortal man vomit. And, The Sad can not let an opportunity to share his limitless information slip by. Ever.

Here's a common interaction with MR. S: I enter his office, and say, "Good afternoon, MR. S, could I have your signature on this piece of paper? All I need right now to complete my life at this moment in time is for you to sign this piece of paper, so I can then turn it in to the appropriate department so that I can go home for the day." The last part is never spoken, but is always implied.

MR. S - who speaks Japanese, Polish, Tagalog (Filipino), English, and Canadian fluently, mind you - says, "Do you know when the Bataan (pronounced "Bah-tah-ahn") Death March occured?" I say, "You fucking know I don't, MR. S. You're just asking me to draw me in, aren't you? That's your sick little version of chumming the water, you sadistic fuck." Okay, I don't say that, I say, "No, MR. S".

He begins. One and one-half hours pass. By the time the dust settles and I'm released for the day, I've been given the history of the U.S. invasion of the Philippenes, been tought how to say several meaningless phrases in Tagalog, and been drawn no less than three highly detailed maps of the streets of Manilla.

If you don't like me, walk up to me and scream obscenities at me. Spit on me. Anything but the FYI. I hate the FYI, and I hate MR. S. If you see him, burn him with fire."
01:03 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 19, 2004

>> Senile old Bastard

[ Boss ]

Alkaholik escaped the wrath of these fools but at the price of dealing with them all that time...

"Following College Graduation in 2001, and the subsequent crash of the economy, I found myself stuck working the same job that I had at graduation, a clerk at a beer store. It was run by an older couple who fancied their store as a snooty wine and cigar boutique. It wasn't a bad job except for the sheer amount of bullshit that I had to deal with out of the management. The Owner routinely forgot my name, overstaffed the store, and played favorites, plus I left my previous job on the promise that I would work full time during winter and summer break, and also post graduation if necessary. Never happened. His bitch of a wife was a distrustful micro-manager who expected omnipotence of the employees. But for the most part, I worked evenings, and they wearn't there, so it wasn't a problem, at least not at first. The following are the circumstances regarding my departure.

1. The announcement was made regarding the new night manager. He was the 18 year old brother of a girl who used to work there. Nice kid, never came to work, and nearly got fired because of it. Claimed scheduling disputes, namely not knowing when he was supposed to come in, and of course Bill wouldn't do the obvious thing of call and ask why he wasn't at work. Anyway, the kid resolves the situation, talks Bill out of firing him, then disappears, goes to the ocean for the summer. He comes back on a whim looking for work, and is not only rehired, but made night manager, and given scheduling priority over me, despite the fact that I was doing all of the store closing tasks, and ended up training him.

2. At around the same time, I'm called into the bosses office to talk about my attitude, and performance. The performance evaluation was bullshit, basically I was told that I don't do anything around the store except work the register. I stopped short of saying I made a point of always stocking the beer box, or making ice, or stocking the wine, or cleaning, or whatever becase a. I could avoid stupid-ass customers as well as the bosses wife, and b. I could usually watch TV while I was doing it. Basically I was being told I didn't do work that I and everyone else knows I did. Not much I could do about that. As far as my attitude, I was frustrated that finding a job was a struggle, but I kept it to a minimum to the other employees, and never mentioned it to customers. We both knew I was looking for a job, and he would often ask how the hunt was going, yet he acted like I was getting a superiority complex towards my job.

3. This conversation is repeated three times over the course of four months. The first time made me work harder. Subsequent repeats of the same BS made me disgruntled, apathetic, and crooked. My schedule also got worse and I had to work all weekend to make time because nobody else wanted those hours. Also, my schedule gets made up on a week by week basis whereas everyone else is scheduled a month ahead of time.

4. I'm left off one week as they go out of town, and tell me to talk to the Manager about that week. Manager doesn't know anything, so I end up not working that week. I leave a note asking Bill to call me, he never does, but my name is scratched off the schedule. I call a day later and find out that he assumed that I had abandoned my job when he called me on Superbowl Sunday asking me to come in because they were understaffed. Basically his favorites left him in a bind, now he wanted me to bail him out. I wouldn't have come in had I gotten the call considering he didn't schedule me at all last week. I was at a party, and missed it. I asked why he didn't call my cell, he claimed that I never gave him the number, but a quick check of my file had it written down in pencil. Not my fault he didn't write it down correctly. Given temporary reprieve of job.

5. Following week, I ask for hours, all he has is a couple cover shifts for employees who requested off. He hires a girl who spends all day complaining that her college education got her nowhere to employees and customers, and says that she has priority over those weekend shifts now. I question the decision, he starts to repeat the BS attitude arguement for the 5th time. Finally I say fuck this, and quit. Two weeks later, I get hired by a Video Production Facility. That job was fantastic, until it turns out they're management is even more incompetant, and they go out of business a year and a half later.

A couple endnotes -- The 18 year old, three months after being given the night managers job, splits for Florida, then calls Bill in transit to let him know of his decision. -- Also, that years new years party had the finest selection of high end champagne that I've ever had, as well as several cases of imported beer. I gave my friends mother two bottles of Kenwood Artist Series 1996 as a wedding gift. All of this cost me under ten bucks. This is what happens when you make it obvious that you're not paying attention to what's happening in your store."
01:05 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 18, 2004

>> IT Trainees

[ Fools ]

Anonymous shares to us a story of a trainee who just won't listen to good advice...

"First sorry for errors, I'm from germany... hope I'm still allowed to tell my story.

I work at the IT department of a german company. Every year we have a trainee in the last year (of a 3 year training) to prepare for their final exam. I was made responsible for their training and supervising.
During the exam the trainees have to hold a 15 min. presentation about their exam-project and answer questions for another 15 min.
To get them well prepared, we simulate this situation over and over again. Usually we hold a 30-60 min. discussion afterwards to point out weaknesses and give hints what to improve.
Usually all our trainees have best results and are therefore happy about our intense training. Not the one we have this year.

We sat together with another trainee of his year, the manager of the trainee program and me as his supervisor and he was presenting and after that we asked questions about the stuff he was presenting. Most of our questions were answered wrong or partly wrong, the presentation was not too bad, but had a lot to improve. So we started the usual discussion.
It all went normally to the point were we started criticizing (I mean in a helpful way, not to give him bad marks - as there are no marks for those kind of simulation, but there will be in the actual exam) his answers to our questions.
Instead of taking notes on what he should recap. or learn again (basic stuff mostly) he started arguing with us. Told us we had not listen properly to what he said and got him wrong. He even got loud and was soon upset with our "unfair questioning".
It is true, we usually ask harder questions then they do in the real thing, but that should be no problem to him as it is to his help and we can not be sure of what they will ask and what not.

What makes me angry is not his poor performance but his reluctance to take our advice at all but accusing us of being unfair.

I don't know what to do. I have the feeling that he will never be able to take the exam if he keeps refusing our help and I don't want him to fail (not only because that would mean another half year at my dep.). But I do not want to give hime advice and beeing shouted at or accused by him in return.
Last but not least there is a lot of other work for me to do cause I'm still doing my normal job while supervising the trainee.

As if that is not enough:
During normal worktime, he is supposed to take orders from the whole dept. The people here are all very nice - nobody sends him just to make coffee or doing paperwork. Everyone wants to find intresting jobs for him to do.
He is not willing to see that, I think.
We asked him to help out with answering support requests - a task where he could learn almost everything he needs to know - over a period of 3 month he did nothing in that line. During that time I remembered him of this task several times, but he still wouldn't do a single request from the list. Said he had his presentation to prepare or other things - but I can see him from my desk and in fact he spends the most of the day mailing with the other trainees of the company. Finally I started being authoritarian (right word?) and obligated him on trying to solve the requests for at least 2 hours every day. So there would be enough time to do his exam preparation.
He still didn't do it.
In a private talk I asked him why he didn't do what I asked for and he told me it is all to hard for him and that he had no idea how to solve the requests.
I told him I think that is a lame excuse and he AGAIN started accusing me of beeing unfair to him and not answering any of his questions.
Did I tell that I do the supervising in addition to my normal job (without any bonus, raise or promotion for it).

I hope he changes his attitude soon, cause if not he will never get any job after the exam."
01:16 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 17, 2004

>> Never work for a married couple!!

[ Work ]

Joann writes in with some advice about staying away from married couples... there could be foolishness amongst the two...

"For two years now I have been working in the offices of a cleaning company.

The two directors are married and met about twelve years ago. He used to be a director of another company and she used to be the cleaner!

Cut a long story short, they got together and started up their own company.

He wants to build an empire whilst she is quite happy to keep things small and do the odd cleaning job.

So, the two directors seem to be pulling in two different directions, which makes their marital life quite eventful!

He loves women - although women don't love him. She is extremely possessive and jealous.

I get caught in the middle of their slanging matches and they often run each other down to me. The professionalism, or lack of it, is beyond believe. I want to scream DIVORCE at them both! Up to now I have managed to keep my opinions to myself and just nod in a sympathetic way whenever they wish to vent their frustrations.

I am an attractive girl so I have to put up with suspicious eye balling from the woman and even received a phone call at home around 10pm one night - her husband had gone out on his motorbike and she thought he was with me!!!!! The thought makes my stomach churn!

Moral of the story: DO NOT WORK FOR A MARRIED COUPLE!"
01:06 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 16, 2004

>> I should have been a computer tech...

[ Rant ]

Jay shares a story that makes me cringe not only because of the fool boss... but I only hope you are well paid...

"I work at a law firm that operates out of two different offices. The office I mainly work at is about 20 minutes away from the other office. I am always getting calls from the real estate lawyer that works in the other office for me to come over and help him out over there. Its always a HUGE emergency and I have to over there ASAP, and when I do get over there, its something stupid that they should have been able to take care of themselves. Well, one day, it was extremely busy over at my office when my other boss calls me and says that the whole office is having computer problems and they were 4 closings behind. So I have to drop everything, drive 20 minutes over to him. When I get there, the problem was not the entire network, but rather just his computer, and they were 4 closings behind, but it had nothing to do with the computer. The problem was that he had downloaded the new Lord of the Rings trailer, but the sound wasn't working. He left me alone with his computer and after I stopped fuming for about 5 minutes, I made an effort to see what the problem was. The first thing I did was to check the speakers...problem found...the volume was turned all the way down!!! After carefully explaining to him that if he wanted to hear something, not only did the volume had to be turned up, but the power had to be on too (just to avoid any future complications). And yes, I still work for him..."
01:14 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 15, 2004

>> Assume makes an ass of you

[ Boss ]

Anonymous writes in about how fools handle inside information... quite obviously not well...

"Today, I'm sitting at my desk, minding my own business, when a co-worker stops by to congratulate me on my resignation...

I looked at her stunned - this was news to me.

Come to find out that another group's manager heard from one of his people the news and because his team heard it, he assumed it was true. Then he says, I'll have to be sure that my people get their stories straight. Really not the point, he's encouraging his people to spread rumors. As a leader, he should have confirmed this rumor and told his team that it's just a rumor....but no....he became an ass-umer!

So, all day I've got people asking me if it's true and I have to deny it.

The kicker is...in a few weeks, it will be."
01:15 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 14, 2004

>> Why Ask Nicely If You Can Be A Real Bitch, Instead?

[ Fools ]

Ectopy finds that working with coworkers who are fools isn't its all cracked up to be...

"The world of nursing is the birthplace of horizontal violence. Today beats all. At the beginning of a shift, the oncoming nurse is expected to arrive about ten minutes early and be on the floor at the top of the hour to receive report on the patients. Report lasts about 30 minutes, and the oncoming nurse is expected to finish in that time and be ready to take on the assignment so the other nurse can quickly give updates and leave.

Today I was on time (early), as usual, and had been listening to report for 20 minutes when the previous nurse barged in complaining that I wasn't finished yet. Now, I swear, this is only the SECOND time I have EVER laid eyes on this idiot, and it is a full 10 minutes before she can even expect to leave. Yet, she is now yelling at me, in front of a student, because we are still listening. And it's HER stupid report we're listening to!

Now you only have my word for it, but I'm a reasonable, hard-working person. Had someone come in nicely and asked me if I could hurry it up a bit so they could leave a little early, I would have probably tripped myself trying to accommodate them. I would have asked for a number I could call if I had questions and told them to go ahead and leave. There are at least 100,000 nice ways this almost complete stranger could have asked, but, well, read the title again."
01:08 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 13, 2004

>> Boss that's always on a diet...

[ Boss ]

Jesus Jones needs to vent about their boss... always interesting how nobody ever listens to their doctor... well maybe she can order the burger without the bun next time...

"My boss is always trying to lose weight. I know this is going to strike up some serious argument about people who have been trying to lose weight their whole lives, but I have to let this go, and figure this is the best place.

The boss is a hispanic female with some serious gyn problems. Every week she goes to the gyn doc, and promptly reports the visit to the office every time she returns. Most of the appointments are made on Monday in the middle of the day so she doesn't bother coming in. That's the good part.

I feel sorry for those who can't reproduce, but that's conventional evolution. Those who are not able to produce viable offspring are not fit for the next generation. Survival of the fittest, remember?

Anyways, one of the problems with whatever complicated procedure that she endures almost every Monday is because she needs to lose some weight. We're talking mad crazy weight not just a few pounds.

Everyday she goes out to lunch. McDonald's, Chinee Takee Outee, Burrito Express, Pizza, Chili's, you name it, we've got it. This is in additon to the mid-day snack of a bag of caramel popcorn ("but it's popcorn") and snickers ("Snickers always makes me feel better. The medication I'm taking makes me want to eat").

How am I supposed to sympathize with this woman, when:

1. Not everyone in the office wants her to reproduce because they don't want the intimate details of her internal experience, 2. Nobody can stand to hear about her trials with weight loss because she's always pigging out.

In closing, it's hard to take orders from someone when you are provided with all of their weaknesses. Maybe she went home early to catch Dr. Phil emotionally destroying fat people on National TV. That's the motivation some people need, and you don't find it in the middle of your spreadsheets.

Happy BonBons :D"
01:07 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 12, 2004

>> Mispelled logo? Oh well...

[ Boss ]

SF Designer shares one of the more shocking submissions I have read... I know fools are obviously fools... but this has to be an all time low in terms of sheer stupidity...

"This is actually a client story (and of course the client is also the boss). I'm a career graphic designer who has had to deal with a plethora of foolish clients over the years, but never have I seen one make such a flagrantly stupid a decision as this.

I was charged with the task of creating a Website for an insurance company, let's call them ABCD Group. This project began with the deft opening act of insisting on pink and purple as their corporate colors - always a professional combination. Their next brilliant stipulation was that we stick with the botched, half-assed attempt at a logo that I have to assume someone's eight year old nephew drew with crayons. Besides being ugly, the file they sent was muddy enough that I had no choice but to recreate it in order to ensure that it was crisp on the site. While doing so, I suddenly realized that the logo was actually *misspelled* - instead of "ABCD", it said "ACBD". Wow. I've been engrossed enough in the design of many art projects in my life to misspell marquee words, but never have any such mistakes actually made it into a professional peice, much less a logo.

So naturally I brought this to their attention and told them that I would just transpose the two letters to correct the problem - piece of cake. But no, their response amounted to, "That's okay - just leave it as it is."

I'm... I'm sorry, what? Um, I think I must not have explained the situation clearly - I said that your *logo* is not the name of your company (I was more diplomatic than this, of course, but this is the gist of the communication). Again, your *logo*, the artwork that you place on everything your company does, the symbol that represents your brand, is not only painful to look at but is SPELLED WRONG.

No dice - all attempts to reason with them fell on deaf ears. The logo and Website for ABCD Group were published as "ACBD". I will never understand why."
01:07 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 11, 2004

>> Enron Rejects

[ Rant ]

Anonymous just quit a job and shares the behind the scenes of fools on that job...

"I worked for a major cigarette manufacturer with the largest pack of fools to grace the wombs of a woman. I served my sentence in the accounting department with what can only be categorized as Enron rejects. Other department's thought our department would make a perfect segment on MAD TV.

One of the ladies easily spent six hours a day sneaking around collecting gossip and surfing the internet. The other two hours were divided between lunch and the smoke panel she served on testing cigarettes. One of them actually managed the department day-trading ring, mind you, until a few months ago, she had no idea who in the hell Alan Greenspan was. She claimed all she ever heard was that "Greenspan" was going to lower the rates and assumed "Greenspan" was an organization. It was then I decided my money was safer under my mattress than in her hands.

We had a cursing Mennonite. We had a gentleman that I'm certain was the influence on Billy Bob Thornton in his characterization of Slingblade. One was so big we only saw her walk twice a day - on her way into the office and on her way out. She wasn't the only overweight one though. We had quite a few. They did walk one more time a day than she did. When they herded themselves as a group into the cafeteria. Another was so dingy, she would share every sexual conquest at staff meetings including a recent "uncomfortable" itching, she acquired from a cruise ship conquest, that required her hospitalization. Then there was the one whose only role was to book one journal entry at monthend and plan departmental "snack fests", which are basically excuses for strapping on the feedbag and grazing like farm animals. This particular lady took her job so serious she actually cursed out another employee because he never brought anything to the table (mind you, he never ate anything from the table either). After doing so, she proceeds to report him to a manager who had to tell her that she was actually in the wrong for using profane language on the job.

The company recently announced a merger with another cigarette company which since has required our department to host marathon meetings. It's not that the meetings were so long, it's that it was so many. Hell, we had meetings to discuss "what we heard in other meetings". And, I can't forget the meetings to discuss "when we would have more meetings". We had a meeting where we were met to be told we could not be told anything. Seriously. The answer to any question posed to the HR rep was "I'm sorry. I'm not at liberty to discuss that". It wasn't a total loss though. At the end, we did learn when the next meeting would be.

The ringleader of this circus was no saint either. He was a loud, crude, sexually-confused little man. This troupe of fools would gaffaw at his God-awful jokes and follow in tandem his stupid antics. Because he gave no respect, they followed suit and gave no respect to others. After the merger was announced, the controller was put on the integration team which required this manager to act as the interim controller in his absence. To make this known, a sign was posted over the name tag next to his door that read: HMFICWGG. Which meant, should anyone care to ask, Head Mother Fucker In Charge While Gary's Gone. Mmm. Can't imagine why I decided to quit."
01:08 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 10, 2004

>> Boss With Hot Pants Stops Career Advance!

[ Work ]

Dazed and Bemused finds that a review isn't always in the cards when a fool is in charge...

"Last summer, my officemates started gossiping that a gal in my department was after my job. I ignored it, but when I heard it from a trustworthy pal in management, I began to think there might be something to it, so I decided to run it past my manager (otherwise known as My Big, Fat, Stupid-ass Mistake). She dragged the boss into it. I should interject here that the boss, by his own admission (! - can you say Jackass?!)has a MAJOR thing for Rumor Gal. Boss, of course, denied the rumor.

Less than a month later, Rumor Gal was promoted to HEAD our department. I was split between two departments - Human Spackle! I was given an impossible workload, made Salaried so as not to get any OT, and put on a nebulously-defined review period. Long story short, I was canned on January 5th, sans any review. Moral of the story: bosses often promote those they want to "promote!" Try not to get in the way of it, or you're toast! (P.S. Rumor Gal got all of my work to do; I understand she's totally miserable. Beware of what you wish for ....!)"
01:17 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 09, 2004

>> Miss Poo-Poo Breath

[ Work ]

sensitive nose find creative ways to give this fool a hint about their stank... but to no avail...

"I work in a fairly small office (50 people) in a department with six people. One woman in my department smells awful, primarily because of bad breath and because she smells like an ash tray (she's a chain smoker). The best way to describe it is that she smells like someone cooked a turd in the oven, poured coffee over it, and then put out a cigarette in it. There's something else in the smell, which I think may be alcohol, although it does not smell like any alcohol I've ever had. I avoid her as much as possible, but we occasionally have departmental or office-wide meetings.

My wife didn't believe someone could smell so bad, and thought that I was exaggerating the extent of the stench. However, one day we had an office-wide meeting, and "poo-poo breath" came in late and sat next to me - it was her worst day and nearly made me vomit (she was to my left, but the speaker was to our right, so in facing the speaker she kept breathing in my direction). On the way home from work, I could still smell the stench about me in the car and couldn't seeem to escape it. Then, after I got home, my two-year-old son came and sat in my lap for a while, climbing on me and wrestling like we usually do when I get home from work. Then my son went over to my wife, who said "ooh you stink, let's go change your diaper." When she went to change him, there was nothing in his diaper. I told her what happened with "poo-poo breath" sitting next to me and she finally believed me. She gave our son a bath, and then I went and took a good shower.

The real problem is that everyone in my office knows this woman stinks, but nobody will do anything about it. I've tried dropping hints, offering her breath mints and gum, and I've even gone as far as farting in our departmental meetings and then explaining that I'm just trying to make it smell better in there, but nothing does the trick. Any advice would be greatly appreciated."
01:05 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 08, 2004

>> Tax Time

[ Rant ]

Anonymous even with tax time over a month away... fools are still confounded...

"I am a waitress at one of the only sit-down restaurants in town. You definately don't have to have brains to work there and most of the other employees don't. We recently got our W-2 forms back so we could all file our taxes. One of the waitresses thought she was receiving a check and took it to the bank and tried to cash it. She still does not understand what the form is for even after we have all tried to explain to her what it is."
01:17 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 07, 2004

>> The unhappy privileged

[ Rant ]

Tired of Work Place Fools poses an interesting question... what do you all think? Are these people fools or not?

"This is short, but not sweet. I work with 3 women in their late 50's to late 60's who never had to work because their husbands are highly professional, well paid career people. Apparently, these women just didn't want to stay home and be housewife's and volunteers like others in their condo and suburban communities. Instead, for the last 20+ years they have held paraprofessional positions with an educational organization. Positions with current salaries of 40-45K per year, plus excellent benefits. Someone trying to raise a family and/or pay bills would benefit most from these 10-month per year fulltime positions. Instead, these women use the work place as a forum to complain about the injustice of limited parking when they go out to eat, the hard time they have finding someone to open their at-home tennis courts each season, and they always find someway to let the rest of us "must work to survive" people how important they are. I've labeled them the unhappy privileged."
01:17 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 06, 2004

>> Who is that mystery voice

[ Fools ]

Trapped Forever In A Dilbert Cartoon has a short entry about those extremely obvious errors fools make...

"A co-worker called us to report that she had gotten married and put in a name change request, but her voicemail still played her maiden name. Apparently, she didn't recognize that the voice was HER OWN and she needed to change it."
01:03 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 05, 2004

>> Idiot student

[ Fools ]

frustrated alchemist reveals that the fools are even among the educated future chemists of america at a large university...

"I work in the chemistry department of a large academic institution and as part of my job I supervise several final year project students. A year ago I had a right muppet who had absolutely no clue about experimental procedure, and also no common sense at all. Here are the two best/worst screw-ups he managed in the 2 months I knew him:

1) He put flammable liquid and magnesium metal (shiny!) in a microwave oven and switched it on.... spark! spark! flash! FIRE!!! BANG!!! - lots of paperwork for me and a minonr redecoration for the lab.

the best one was this...

2) In order to heat up some chemicals he put them in a oil bath at 200 degrees (OK, you are supposed to do that), but the bath wasn't full enough. So, he got a beaker of cold water and was 1/2 a second away from pouring this (cold) water into (hot) oil when I grabbed his wrist. Surely everyone knows that cold water and hot oil don't mix? Apparently not - it took me 5 minutes of shouting at him to explain why this was a very very silly idea.

I was SO glad when he left, he was a danger to all around him."
01:08 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 04, 2004

>> The Moron's I Train...

[ Fools ]

Arlene just proves to us the fools come in all shapes and all ages... sadly once a fool always a fool...

"I must work with the stupidest people alive. Here is my story: I'm a trainer of housekeepers at a resort. My job is to train people to clean and how to be safe while on the job. I have been doing this since I was 16 years old. I am now 20, so I consider myself fully aware of how to do my job. Well, unfortuantly I got stuck with training 2 girls close to my age, that we're completely stupid. The one girl was even pregnant, this makes it more difficult seeing as how she can't move heavy things. I had started them off by showing them how to clean a bathroom. This proved to be interesting. The pregnant girl didn't know what a toliet brush was for. I had spent almost an hour trying to bang the concept of how to use it into her head. I finally succeeded. I decided to leave them alone to clean the other bathroom by themselves so I could inspect it when they were done. It took them about 45 mins. to finish cleaning it. This was shock considering the bathroom only had a toliet and a sink in it. The bathroom turned out great, but I still could't see what took 45 mins. But nothing could prepare me for the next shock. I started to explain to them safety procedures of moving furniture. I told the pregnant girl that she would not have to worry about this now, but to keep it in the back of her mind for when her pregnancy was over.(If she would even last that long.) One of the things that I repeated several times was about the glass dining table. I told them that if the glass needed to be cleaned underneath, they had to crawl under the table and clean it that way. I told them that under no circumstances were they to 'flip' the glass over. I asked them both if they understood all the safety procedures at the end of my little presentation and both nodded yes. I asked them if they had any questions, they said no. I gave them a quick run through of how to clean the living room and dining room then told them I would leave them alone and come back to inspect it about an hour. I made sure to leave them with my radio , seeing as how they proved to not be to bright. This way they could always reach me. Well, I left for about 10 mins. when all of a sudden a girls voice came on the radio screeching my name. I knew immediatly who it was and rushed to the unit. When I saw what happened, I couldn't believe it. They did the one thing I strictly told them not to. They decided to 'flip' the glass table. In the process of flipping the table they had shattered the chandilier above it as well as the table itself. The pregnant girl was covered in cuts and glass, the other girl just had a cut on her hand. I called an ambulance immediatly for the pregnant girl. Although, I am happy to report that they are both alright, I must say that they are both the biggest fools I have ever met.

(In case you're wondering, they were fired that day.)"
07:03 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 03, 2004

>> Lazy Coworker

[ Fools ]

Anonymous writes in about this lazy fool of a coworker I know many of you have worked with the same situation if not worse...

"I have always been a hard worker in my lifetime (worked since 12 yrs old), and my personality just doesn't mold with people that are lazy. I have been at my job for 7 months, in which everyday I love except for 1 of my coworkers. Not only is she lazier when the bosses are out of town, but she makes the word lazy sound like work. She mostly chats all day on a certain FANTASY game web site, and invents new ways of sitting on her butt. The other coworker and I have even noticed that she has been fabricating hours on her timesheet. To be honest we have calculated her working a total of 4 hrs a day (if actually productive). When the bosses are in town, she acts like shes been working hard by leaving her desk and ACTUALLY doing her job!

Moreover, she takes other peoples ideas and acts like she originally came up with them. I have been so frustrated with this person, in that they really don't like their job. I hope that things will get better before they get worse!"
01:19 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 02, 2004

>> Nutcase

[ Boss ]

Anonymous writes in about the overbearing fool boss... ahhh they love to crush peoples souls...

"I have 2 horrible bosses. One of them dresses like a clown on acid, has the worst acne you've ever seen, severe halitosis and her hair hasn't seen a brush since she graduated college (~5 years give or take...) . It is so bad you don't want to be seen with her in public let alone have her represent you to a large retail client at meetings. She has the most annoying habits of any person I've ever known in my life. If you ask her a question she will stand staring blankly at the paperwork/email for about 10 minutes minimum before she will say a word. Then she always wants you to call a bunch of people to figure it out. After you do this she asks you what you came up with and then tells you its all wrong and she thinks it should be done this other way. (but she couldn't give that opinion until she knew she'd be able to tell you you were wrong...) Plus she is very sensitive and runs to the other boss (overbearing/mean/hypocritical snatch) and blabs on and on and basically makes her do the dirtywork (ie. yelling at people, telling people no etc.). The 2nd boss is so self centered she can hardly remember peoples names and most of us have been here over a year at a company that has 12 people max. For our christmas party she said we couldn't bring anyone (nice restaurant during work hours) even though many people's significant others would have liked to come. We show up and there's her boyfriend, drinking (we weren't allowed to do that either!) I couldn't believe it! There's so much more but not time to write it."
01:10 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

March 01, 2004

>> My Officemate

[ Fools ]

keyboardmonkey gives us a glimpse of an officemate... we've all had this experience someone within range of you at the office that just grates your teeth... my dentist once asked me what made me grind my teeth... could the answer have been fools?

"My officemate is the most negative person I have EVER met. And she talks NON-STOP. I feel so sour and terrible and irritated after spending 8 hours/day with her. Here are some thoughts that I have to type out before I explode:

My officemate is talking right now. She hasn't stopped talking for a half hour and she won't shut her f***ing mouth for at least two more hours. She's talking as I am typing this, and has just said "what kind of novel are you writing over there?"

She talks incessently, and it's always about her 16-yr-old son, or compaining about something. Always with the complaining. Or some stupid, mind-numbing story like how her grandkid had diaherrea this weekend and all about the high school althetic events she and her husband atttended and how her son's sports photo is in the small-towne gazette and how she doesn't feel well and how she's stressed out over her freelance jobs and homygod! the scene of that murder in the news was only 450 miles from where they camped this summer!

It's been quiet for two minutes - a small reprieve, until she just laughed out loud, forcing me to ask what's so funny. She ALSWAYS employs that pathetic method. First of all, he mumbles so you have to say "What?!" and engage in conversation. Or it will be nice and quiet and I'm in the work groove and she'll go "Great..." or "Are we having fun yet?" or "It's going to be 23 degrees and windy on Friday" or she'll start reading every g-d story from Yahoo OUT LOUD. It's like she's mental and just can't help herself!

I come into work a full hour early to have a bit of time to myself to get my work done and for a little privacy. She's very insecure about her job (and insecure in general with a touch of persecution complex). She NEVER leaves her desk, not even to pee or just walk around (and then moans about her ankles being swollen!). Gee, I guess that makes her more valued - just look at that dedication!

She NEVER leaves to eat lunch - of course she eats in our little office (we have a microwave and sink in here) and complains about how little sleep she's gotten b/c of the work she had to take home. Then there's the matter of her being such a trooper (read: martyr) and coming in sick all the time. Although most of the time it's mystery ailments (or as soon as someone on the other side of the building sniffles, she is "sick" but "drags herself into work" because there is just "too much to do". Be an adult - if you are sick STAY HOME!

She does these really strange things like if I cough, she coughs - louder and hacking, as if to top me. It's really bizarre adn kind of funny at this point. Also, althogh our office is a zillion degrees (office-wide consensus) she insists on having our door closed b/c "she can't get work done with all the interruptions". Are you KIDDING ME?! Anyway, I've been testing this out and it works every time. I'll say "It's really hot here!" she'll say "Oh, I'm so cold. It's freezing" and conversely if I'm cold she'll be "roasting"! Isn't she special and different?

On a last note, she really seems to relish telling me things that she thinks might upset me.

She just walked over her under the pretense of showing me two "Teddy Grams" that were stuck together and then proceeded to check out my monitor.

Get me out of here! Better yet, get her out of here!"
01:08 AM - Posted by Disgruntled