August 30, 2003

>> Irritating Day

[ Rant ]

Irritated writes an all time classic rant... there is nobody that does not get a blow in this commentary...

"All around the board, I work with idiots. Those I employ, those that employ me, my clients...all of them.

I have people that do not show up for work for two weeks, without explanation, file for unemployment once I fire them and then get hostile when I dispute their claim. I am sorry, but if you are in dire need of funds, then come to work-or at least call in sick and buy yourself some time.

My VP is a nut. She has no idea what is going on around her. Most of the time, I am convinced she does not know what she is talking about. Besides not knowing the operations side of our business (which she is VP over- as well as Controller, her real area of expertise), she is the least compassionate woman you have ever met. Well, that is unless you are one of her sidekicks. Bottomline, working in a company run and operated by all women is a nightmare. I am an independent, well-educated woman who would never have dreamed of saying that I need a little testosterone in my company. The backstabbing and under-handed behavior is like something off of Melrose Place.

I could write in everyday about my experience with the different fools I come into contact with. Today, for example, the conference call I was on was the most unprofessional call I have ever been a party to. With 100+ of us, from California to NYC, all diffrent companies, one common client, the call was barely audible due to background noise, music and to top it off- a dog barking.

I definitely deserve more money."
01:01 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 29, 2003

>> How in the world is she so dumb and slow?

[ Rant ]

Dora had a some thoughts that needed to get off her mind... enjoy...

"I never really thought that it would be humanly possible to be as slow and as stupid as one of my co-workers is...*sighs*. Unfortunately I had to work with her tonight and damnit I hated every minute of it!! She's not retarded or anything... she's just slow and she's a blonde (*no offense to the blondes out there*) but she's not the type of slow where she takes her precious time (*well she also does that*) but it takes her like half an hour to count the register and another hour to wash dishes when if a **normal** person would do it... it'll take them the most 20 minutes! And then...to top it off... she rants on about stupid crap that no one in the face of the earth cares about.

Sometimes I feel sorry for the customers she helps... they ask her for like a lid (*oh yeah...i work at a frozen yogurt shop*) and she rants on about how once she got cut by a lid and throws in half of her life story and what her favorite TV show is...wtf! This girl I think has been sheltered all her life and I think thats why she is so stupid. I could say 'damn' and she would be like "**gasp** Oh Gosh."

Even my friends... not knowing how she is, when they came in one day... thought she was the most annoying and ignorant person that they had ever met. Sometimes I wanna slap some sense into her... but unfortunately I dont think that will ever happen =( I think that I am gonna talk to my boss and tell her that I would rather not work with that fool again... I don't think that I could take it... but yeah... thanks for listening to me rant on about this *idiot* co-worker of mine... and hopefully you'll never have to work with one thats the same cuz that would suck."
01:19 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 28, 2003

>> Pathetic

[ Boss ]

hatesjob shares with us this story about his foolish manager to just follow the rules...

"Well, I am a minor that works for a grocery chain. Since I'm under 17, I am not allowed (in the state of MI) to be driving after midnight without proof that I'm coming/going to a job. One night, I was supposed to get off at midnight. I asked my boss, the department manager, if she could write a note for me in case I got pulled over. She called the store director. He said no.

So, they can schedule me until midnight, but cannot provide me with some sort of proof that I was there."
01:13 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 27, 2003

>> Moron Guitarist

[ Rant ]

JJPS needed a moment to rant about some fool in his class...

"There's this stupid idiot in my class who says that he knows how to play the bass guitar very well. Well, a few days ago, I borrowed his bass guitar to jam with another friend only to discover that the so-called expert is nothing but a useless idiot. He tuned his guitar wrongly!!! He tunes his guitar as E-G-A#-C# (suppose to be E-A-D-G) and after my friend went to re-tune the guitar to its proper tuning, that stupid moron started to harass me saying that I have tuned his bass guitar out of tune and is pestering me to pay for his new set of out-of-tuned strings! What a bloody pathetic idiot. HELP ME! I'm constantly being harassed by that musically-challenged moron. ARGH!"
01:16 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 26, 2003

>> Where's my @#%^! Vacation?

[ Rant ]

Fight the Power writes about some truly foolish management issues...

"I work in IT (no wait, it gets worse!), and just about anyone with any seniority is working on a long term project that keeps them off the phones, so we are constantly short-handed. So what do the remaining people do? Go on vacation of course, making us even more shorthanded! So I get to pick up the slack and answer nearly every phone call and process e-mails, without getting the opportunity to take a lunch, because it is even more impossible for only one person to man the phones alone, so I stay and try to help but end up doing it all myself anyway.

So when I requested a day off more than two weeks in advance so I could move to a new apartment, I caught hell for it! I'll probably be a little sick from moving the following Monday. *cough* (Insert primal scream here.)"
01:17 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 25, 2003

>> Interviews? What interviews?

[ Boss ]

cube cow writes in about some confusion up top affecting those down below... but hell when fools are involved anything is possible...

"Well last Tuesday the VP of engineering came and scheduled a meeting with the group (10-12 people) and basically came out and said we are dissolving this group.

Then he was like but "most of you will get hired internally", first how much is most? and second is this a real interview competing against others?

Next, the director of HR said "lets not get carried away (about the hiring)" So they both looked like idiots. Some of us still don't have interviews with managers internally, and there has been no finality about the situation (when we will get laid off?)

Great managing, fools!"
01:15 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 24, 2003

>> Yep, I'm terrified, all right.

[ Boss ]

Marley lets us know how to look at the danger of being fired by a fool right in the eye... shrug it off!

"I work in retail at an orange home improvement store. Management there leads by intimidation; everything is a "terminable offense". Customer walks into a closed area while a forklift is running? You're fired. Step off a reach truck without turning it off, even if you remain nearby? See ya later. Work without your apron, use a utility knife that's not the "official" safety knife, take an item for store use without immediately marking it down? Fired, on the spot. Take the schedule off the wall to photocopy it so you know when you're supposed to be in next week? Yep, you will be fired for that.

It's gotten to the point where the standard response to a manager threatening "That's a terminable offense!" is "Yeah, so what?" We're all so tired of being threatened that even unemployment looks better than this."
01:20 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 23, 2003

>> Mans Job In A Mans World

[ Work ]

Meaty in California writes us a long story but one to remind you that you can leave fools behind but its a shame the sacrifices we make to deal with them...

"I had worked at the same office location of a huge Local Government Law Enforcement Agency for 6 years. I hadn't had any real problems with any of the supervisors until we got a new hispanic female supervisor who, aside from being clueless, is militant about gender/race issues. She was wholly unqualified to be a supervisor and it was well known she obtained her promotion through varying techniques over several attempts until it became a gender/race issue, then she got her promotion. I've worked with many supervisors of both sexes and various races over my 15 years and almost all are greatly qualified and a privilege to work for. Trust me, this one slipped through the cracks.

When she came to our office, she had to change the way we did everything. Either to justify her position or to just be the prima-donna she is, I'll never know for sure. Now, I don't have anything against change. But, my philosophy is, "If ain't broke, don't fix it", unless it makes things work better than before. I went to her to point out some "problems" with some of her changes and she told me, "Oh just shut up... quit being a baby." Nice huh?

I didn't complain to the office supreme commander about her and let it go. I figured since she was new maybe she was a little stressed out. I didn't really know her. I only had heard rumors about her that I had not experienced first hand. I gave her the benefit of the doubt. A few weeks later I went to her with another observation, friendly and courteous despite her former transgression. Her response was, "...do you know what it's like for me working in a mans job in a mans world!?" (This was in January 2003, I thought we had gotten past that... I did say she was "militant", right?) Well, I'd had enough. My angst got the best of me. I immediately responded, "And I suppose your sex and race had nothing to do with your promotion, did it?" Oops...

As several weeks goes by, I avoid her like the plague. She smiles and feigns friendliness when contact is neccessary but I'm told by coworkers she's after my... manhood, and I better be careful. I continue to do my job, and I do it well, as always. Eventually, it comes time for the yearly performance evaluation. Under several categorys of performance I score above average and am held in high regard in the comments sections by all my former superviors. But, in the section regarding "Reacts Well Under Pressure", she marks me down to a "2"... on a sclae of "1" being pond scum and "5" being God-like. I take my evaluation to appeal based on that one mark down, despite the overall score being above average due to the former supervisors inputs.

The supreme commander interviws me and interviews her, as well as the former supervisors. In the original evaluation she justified the "2" by saying I'd been "counseled" on this purported deficiency. The supreme commander finished his investigation and concluded, "Supervisor AngryWoman advised she had no recollection of informally or formally putting Meaty on notice of deficiency, with regards to the performance area of 'Reacts Well Under Pressure'. She advised she has no knowledge of documentation in his personnel file which would support a notice of deficiency."

"AngryWoman advised she received input from Meatys other supervisors before writing the Performance Evaluation. None of the former supervisors gave her any input with regards to Meaty being deficient or of having given Meaty notice of being deficient in the rating area 'Reacts Well Under Pressure'. I recommend Meaty's Performance Evaluation be changed. The rating of '2' should be changed to a '3' (average) with modified comments of 'He manages pressure situations by maintaining composure and control". I won the appeal.

Since then I have transferred to another office. Office politics are rampant everywhere, but you ain't seen nothing until you've worked for a huge Local Government Law Enforement Agency. I miss the old office and the people there. I truly resent her for forcing me to have to leave. There's no way I could stay there under her microscope though. She likes to throw her weight around and there are others leaving the same office because of her. Of course, the agency is doing nothing to her, despite what she has done and is doing. What she did to me was a blatant lie and attempt to discredit my good name. A mark down of '2' or less in any area on our evaluations is not a good thing. It has career long ramifications, and she knows that. Oh well... life goes on!"
01:17 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 22, 2003

>> Free Internet

[ Boss ]

Ravmann reveals some secrets of his bosses office romance and how it has higher priority than the good of the company... oh well...

"While the vast majority of offices have a firewall that precludes the downloading of non-work-related programs (i.e.- gambling, AOL instant messenger, computer games, etc.) our firm is unconcerned with productivity and thus has none. Or at least I thought that this was the reason given the numerous, underqualified excuses for IT people we have had in here in the year that I have spent wasting away in front of my computer screen.

In fact, IM is a popular download among firm employees, support staff and attorneys alike. And while some use their discretion, as perhaps only an option for contact with children at home, spouses in need, co-counsel, etc., there are others with less stringent rules about at-work messaging. The lol's, the ttyl's, the brb's. They run rampant around here. (just when you were wondering when I would get to the point...)

The managing partner of our firm was married just a few weeks ago. He has been married a few times, as every good man's man in corporate America has. He's lied, cheated, and emotionally used and abused his way to the top (literally).

Mr. Firm Manager met his newest wife in a chat room. Yes, you read correctly, a chat room. They met, they bonded over their shiney computer screens, they had internet 'relations'... at work. In fact, she became such a part of his daily routine that he scheduled business meeting around his 'meetings' with her. This strange, incoherent behavior escalated to the point that phone calls were rejected, work was postponed, and the day became essentially devoted to long, involved 'chatting.'

They got married and I expect that their conversations still include phrases like, 'gotta run, chat later.'

Just when you thought your boss was strange..."
01:15 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 21, 2003

>> Be Nice...

[ Boss ]

Needs Coffee writes of one of the most hated types of fools. The ones that are rude and then later demand respect. Heed this advice...

"A co-worker of mine (that no one in the office really likes because he is rude and discourteous) has a band and was trying to get people to go and see them. I have never heard a kind word from this guy and all of the sudden we were pals. I think I'm probably the only person who said "no" to him because apparently a lot of people from the office had said that they'd go to the show, but only two people showed up and they snuck out when they realized no one else was there. Let this be a reminder people: do ask for courtesy when you aren't willing to give it."
01:09 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 20, 2003

>> Documentation!

[ Boss ]

HowDumbdoEyeLook? writes in about the layoff madness going on these days. Makes you wonder who actually is working these days with unemployment so damn high!

"My company just finished laying off over 15% of our work force... almost 1,000 people total. They decided who to lay off based on how 'mission critical' the job you do is to the company, and by whether or not they could assign a temp or lower paid employee to do your job. My manager has spent the past 2 weeks trying to get me to take over the work of another employee who was just laid off, even though he was terminated because his work wasn't mission critical.

If that's not bad enough, he keeps asking me to document how I do my current job, step by step, in case I am 'out of the office'. Suuuure buddy.... I'll get right on that! While I'm at it, why don't I just train a circus chimp to do it for free!?!?!"
01:12 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 19, 2003

>> I don't think thats the freshest java.

[ Fools ]

Guerilla Master of Food Service shares with us a fool story that has bugged him for a long while... his frustration was due to be heard... I'll be keeping an eye on my coffee cups from now on.

"This scene happened a few years ago but I simply have to share it because I have yet to actually vent this frustration.

I happened to be a waiter at a resteraunt who had moved up through the ranks to bartender and trainer. Now on said training night I was a little overwhelmed as I had a complete moron for a trainee and we we're three people short so my section was about 8 - 9 tables which is pretty damn busy.

Now I simply had my trainee doing very easy (or so I thought) and menial tasks in order to make things easier. For example, filling drinks, getting extra dressing butter, whatever the customers want.

Well all night believe it or not things had been going pretty good until I heard a shriek and a coffee mug crash on the ground and shatter. I went over to see what the problem was and immediatly got an earfull from this customer who demanded I look at the coffee mug.

Now at our store we do from time to time serve potato soup in our coffee mugs and it can become CEMENTED to the inside. Of course common sense would tell you that if you get a coffee mug with potato soup encrusted inside it you should PROBABLY SEND IT THROUGH THE DISH WASHER A FEW MORE TIMES. Of course this doesn't faze my trainee who boldly serves her java a la POTATO SOUP!

Thank god only 4 more customers had potato soup in their coffee too! Making money is for idiots right?

(On a side note I refused to train any more after that incident seeing as I got stiffed on 6 tables that night due to that incident. Yes that means even from a table that didn't drink the coffee, they we're just that disgusted)"
01:19 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 18, 2003

>> Boss can't spell

[ Boss ]

C not K writes about how when working for a fool even when things are looking good they find a way to bring your morale down...

"My name is a name that is normally spelled with a 'C' or 'K.' I spell my name with a 'C'. My boss gave me a good review, however when she gave the the copy to sign, 80% of the way through she had my name spelled with a 'K'. I signed it, but it didn't do much for my attitude."
01:19 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 17, 2003

>> It's Raining Idiots!!!

[ Fools ]

The Jumper

"Alright, this isn't going to be pretty but here it is: I work as a skydiving instructor here in LA and yesterday I had the absolute most stupid people on the planet show up to a class. After discussing the safety issues, they have to complete a few practice jumps to master landings and get over minor fears. The wife (mind you AFTER THE INFORMATIONAL SESSION) suddenly got all panicky around her husband and shouted 'OH MY GOD! WE'RE GOING TO SKYDIVE?' I guess her husband never said anything about it. After crying for about 20 minutes she somehow miraculously got over her fears, but decided not to listen to anything I said as she jumped from the ladder failing again and again... I made her jump more to get it right, and by deliberately not getting it right, she forced me to make her do it again (we tape the practices to show to them)... by her 5th (yes 5th) jump, she got irrated and got in my face and yelled 'So am I going to jump or not?' I shook my head in multiple types of disbelief.

A few tries later she figured it out and they went home to prepare for this morning. When they got here, for some reason they were wearing spandex and it wasn't a pretty sight. I got past the sensation of my breakfast coming up and got on the plane. We went over some basic stuff for the 20 minutes we got up there and I drilled them to make sure they remembered everything. They seemed (seemed) competant enough so when we got to the appropriate elevation I (who was attached to the husband) and my friend Keith (attached to his wife) got ready to fall with them.

We're off and suddenly the husband is kicking and screaming on my back. He hadn't really made a complaint and had been pretty brave beforehand, plus he told me he had done this before (which was obviously a lie). Anyway, in flailing, he somehow managed to punch and kick every (yes, unfortunately every) area on my body so i decided that enough was enough and I pulled the parachute. When the chute came out, suddenly he was having a great time. I wasn't feeling to well and have many unseen bruises. When we landed, I found out that Keith had been urinated on. Anyway, being brave is great everyone, but please don't be stupid and fake it."
01:00 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 16, 2003

>> Cold Lemsip and Bananas

[ Boss ]

Jen L writes in from across the pond from the UK about her slightly off Boss...

"I'm a tattooist in the UK, I don't think my boss would mind me sharing this story as he knows what a total idiot he is and admits it on a regular basis. He puts other fools to shame, years and years of smoking the dreaded weed have done the inevitable and killed every single brain cell he ever had. Some sad but true examples of my boss's ineptitude include:

One day we run out of black ink to line out tattoo's with, big problem. So the boss heads on up to London to go and buy some from a stockist. This should take 45 minutes max. He arrives back at the studio 4 and a half hours later armed with a bag of grapes and a banana. He stands in the doorway looking bemused and says 'I forgot what I went up there for, so I just went round camden market instead'.... cue groans.

Another example, he goes up to the same stockist for body jewellery, we get a desperate phone call some 3 hours later, hes just arrived in Bedford (8 stops up from London and in the opposite direction) and he hasn't got enough money to get back. He forgot the money for the jewelry. Someone has to go and pick him up.

And now for the clincher... our dear boss got himself a case of the flu last christmas. He comes stumbling into the shop looking awful, clutching a box of lemsip (the horrible tasting powder drink to take when struck down with flu type illness)... very well done of him we think. He checks everything is in order then goes home. Two hours later we recieve a call. He hasnt got a pan... or a cup... or a kettle... he just drank his lemsip cold out of a plastic bowl.

While his adoring staff wet themselves laughing we also couldnt help but just nod knowingly at one another because it is just so him. I wish it wasnt true, but our business is run by the most inept person on the planet. He just spent £300 on a replica crossbow he doesnt need... why? because the shop owner told him to.

He needs help."
01:17 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 15, 2003

>> I'm the fool??

[ Work ]

abcd has written to us again but this time with a potential solution to stop the fools yet it may make you one too...

"I made a pledge to myself to write into this site every week with at least one fool story. Last week, I wasn't able to write in since really nothing happened at work. For that to happen, I pretty much didn't have to talk to anyone, because as soon as people open their mouth at my place, I have a fool story.

Maybe I'm the fool. Perhaps one of the postings was about me and it was my fool time. Oh well, I still hate my job!"
01:02 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 14, 2003

>> Corporate Spamming

[ Fools ]

Anonymous shares with us something that I am sure is happening in many of your offices today. The abuse of the 'all' list that most companies have.

"I arrive to work this morning to see a spam message from one of our own employees who emailed a group in our address book. So I decided to send her an email telling her not to spam me with such nonsense. The comment I got back just blew me away....

'I did not voluntarily send this to you. I sent it to the . You must be on the list, which, if you are, I had no part in since it was not ment for you.'"
01:18 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 13, 2003

>> Dynamite and the "Golf Pro"

[ Boss ]

Civil (Ob)-Servant writes in a very vivid description of the sad state of affairs in the office area his in. I know we have all been there where fools need to rely on other fools for validation... oh boy...

"I'm working this summer at a federal agency in the Washington DC area. Due to space restrictions, my cubicle has been placed in the economics dept. rather than in the policy dept that I work in. Every morning I sit at my desk and watch as self-important civil servants ignore me sitting at my computer. (I am the only one in the open and cannot be avoided). Normally this would not cause me much distress, however, due to the complete lack of privacy or shelter that my desk provides me, I am forced to listen to the inane dribble of the econ employees as they chat in the hall outside their office. The most rediculous one of all is a 30 something man with a beer belly. He is the center that all the other idiots flock too.

Exhibit A: Fat 'alpha-fool' aka the 'Golf Pro'(as I shall call the man whose office is nearest mine) constantly brags about his golf prowess. He talks about his shitty clubs and the one resort that he went to MONTHS ago nonstop. I have been playing golf since I was a young child and it bothers me to no end that he fancies himself an 'expert' on the sport. To make matters worse, his flock regards him as a sort of golf guru as well. They constantly seek approval of their equally as shitty clubs or their poor golf game. He just smiles rubs his belly, and offers his sagacious advice. I know for a fact that he is god awful as he was a guest at my dad's club a few weeks ago.

Exhibit B: 'Dynamite!' One of Golf Pro's minions, is a paunchy 40 something who constantly stops by for hour long 'power-chats.' This man is actually a bit sad and doesnt warrent the disgust of the Golf Pro. He fawns over GP, constantly seeking recognition. To make matters worse, he has started saying the word 'dynamite' in a voice so loud and strange it makes me lose concentration every time. He doesnt say 'dy-na-miiiite' like JJ of Good Times, rather 'DYNAMITE!!!!' in a voice akin to the Aflack duck on the tv commercials. He also mentioned that he was going to use this expression PRIOR to actually using it!!!!! Holy Christ, I hope this is not me in 15 years!"
01:22 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 12, 2003

>> Here's a tip... play Catch-a-Fool!

[ Fools ]

Anonymous shares with us a lil tip for those who want to play Catch-a-Fool...

"The next time you hear someone in the next cube ask a question out loud and you know the answer, don't say anything. Just let them fumble around for a bit trying to figure it out, listening to him/her get more desparate, asking everyone, asking the question louder, until some other fool chimes in with the wrong answer. Sounds mean, but anyone out there in cubicle land hears stupid questions every day. It helps me to gloat a bit and just not divulge the answer in the hopes that someday, someone will figure out just how stupid the question-yeller is. Who am I kidding..."
01:14 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 11, 2003

>> What does it say about you when the president of the company rags on you?

[ Boss ]

Jane Sales Rep writes one of those stories where you hope that your president of the company was at least as fun as him... oh and by the way... get rid of that Dan fool!

"My former boss (let's call him Dan), who was promoted to outside sales despite his lacking figures, still fills in at the store two days a week so that the other sales person and myself can have a day off. The president of my company lives in another state but tracks our figures daily. He often flies back out for meetings, etc. Dan, in all his wisdom, tries to 'help' when he's in the store - assuming of course that we need his hand in everything becasue we lack so many sales skills. Every time the president comes out to see us we are asked to account for numerous muck-ups. Every one can be easily answered with 'Dan handled that.' On the last visit, almost $3,000 in mispricing and unpaid for items were Dan's fault. The president asked that a sign be put up on the front door - 'No Dan past this point'."
01:12 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 10, 2003

>> Any...

[ Fools ]

ConnecticutBoss shares with us one of those stories you only wish happened to you so you can laugh your ass off...

"Years ago, I had an employee I was training on our computer system back in the DOS days. She was sweet as anything, but english wasn't her primary language and some things just tended to escape her. One day she is staring at the screen, mesmerized, as the monitor is prompting her to hit any key to continue.

Finally she just had to ask...which one is the "any" key? Mind you she had previously worked as a typist. I still am amazed and crack up everytime I see that prompt."
01:18 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 09, 2003

>> Nappy time for Mikey

[ Fools ]

SumYungGuy shares this story of a fool regressing to childhood...

"I worked at an office once where one of the staff members was 'missing' for an extended period of time every day. Nobody could track him down. One day, I overheard the following conversation coming from said Fool's office:

Fool's Boss's Boss: 'Mike, if you are sick and need to rest, please take the remainder of the day off and go home, but you can't be sleeping in the office.'

Turns out, Fool was finally caught napping in the office... Laid out on the floor under his desk with a blanket, a pillow, and I SHIT YOU NOT, a teddy bear! This had been going on for weeks and nobody had noticed, because his desk was positioned in such a way that as you walked past his door, you couldn't see the floor under the desk.

In an unrelated story, this same Fool was once invited to a holiday party at another staff member's house, and he had been put in charge of making salad. He had been given the ingredients and shortly thereafter discovered sitting on the floor with all the ingredients laid about him on the filthy floor, biting off pieces of carrot with his teeth and spitting them into the salad bowl. This was Fool's method of cutting up carrots, instead of using a knife and cutting board. Needless to say, he was thereafter given the task of bringing in party supplies in hermetically sealed packages (cutlery, cups, soda, etc). If it was me, that would have been the last party he'd ever been invited to, but the host was too nice for such discipline."
01:13 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 08, 2003

>> With the band?

[ Fools ]

FireCat tells us about the problems of the fools within the band...

"I'm the lead guitarist in a local band. Not exactly a job, but it I still have 'coworkers.' I'm the only female, so you can see where this story might be heading...

We were offered a job playing at a party with a bunch of teens, and they'd pooled together a good amount of money, so the band was excited. Rehearsing the night before, the bassist came on to me. He really wanted it, too. I turned him down and hoped to leave it at that.

The next day, he wouldn't acknowledge my existence. That meant that he wouldn't listen to me when I tried to tell him the setlist beforehand, and he wouldn't look my way during the performance so that I could try and give him a clue.

Silly him! The rest of the band discussed it, and he's been replaced. And he didn't get any part of that night's profit."
01:28 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> Immigrant Snobbery

[ Work ]

FreeMe writes to us about a few foolish characters at the office and how they seem to be hanging on to things by a thread...

"Nothing worse than working for a company run by a family of immigrants who think the American Dream consists mostly of taking an idea and running with it as far as they can.

This company has a successful consumer product, one advertised on TV. They create the product line, add to it every year, but essentially count on their one-hit wonder to keep raking in the cash.

The sad part is they are in a market where professional people are needed to get the work of creating the products done. They bring these people in a lower rates (due to a struggling economy) and never welcome them into the fold. As well, they don't let the talent show themselves capable of much more than the tasks needed to carry out the work.

The result is an office full of sad adults, working on stupid projects that they gain no benefit from, monetarily or professionally. This sadness can destroy one's career.

Over time, the only people who stay in that environment are classifiable losers. There is a compulsive writer who can't form short sentences in simple emails, and has major intestinal issues; a blind-to-the-rest designer who has no clue how little is being accomplished in their career; a constantly-whining with tendonitis or some other work-related injury dork; a person who actually eats their own boogers while eating their meals; a fat insomniac alcoholic; a stoned and stressed slacker - and more.

People are leaving the place every few months when they realize that, although this company seems to offer potential for excitement and growth in one's career, it quickly dawns on them that they have stumbled into one of those dark places your parents warned you never to go into.

You're all a bunch of losers, and the CEO is the biggest one of all. Ugly, stupid, doomed to loneliness, without a chance of ever earning my respect."
01:26 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 07, 2003

>> It's All About MEEEE!

[ Rant ]

KnifeInMyBack writes to us about the needs of paying attention during the meetings...

"OK, we've been in an incredibly unproductive meeting for several hours and it's a Teleconference with the UK to boot. They have completely different rules over there. Everyone speaks at the same time! After listening for two hours and occasionally interjecting a comment that is poo pooed, one of the Directors asks me, Senior Admin of the group if the FOOL Admin of his department has to be here for this stupid meeting? Obviously she's not interested in what we're saying and all she's doing is stuffing her big fat face. I say, "No, she doesn't need to be here."

This is where it goes all wrong. I say like a little cheer in bleachers, including the waving of my arms, "Run, Get the Hell out, while you can!" We all laughed and thought nothing more about it.

At the end of the day, she comes to me and takes me behind closed doors and says, "You cussed me out in front of those people!" I said, "I don't even remember talking directly to you today." I apologized and said it wouldn't happen again.

Now I feel like I can't express myself and have to govern everything that I say.

This person is a slacker and can't do her job. The rest of the staff knows it, HR knows it but everyone is afraid that she causes a problem if she is fired. We are stuck with person.

Just needed to RANT! I'm still angry. Typed this fast, so ignore the mistakes...."
01:23 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 06, 2003

>> Ring... Ring...

[ Fools ]

CUNY writes in one of those classic short but extremely foolish stories...

"I work as a dispatch for a college. One day while my supervisor was trying to call a post... I infomed him the person wasn't answering the phone. So I had to radio him over the air by name and asked does he hear a phone ringing. He replies 'yes'. I then had to tell him to pick up the phone."
01:15 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 05, 2003

>> Leave Hours Messed Up

[ Work ]

AT tell us about the domino effect that fools have...

"My paystubs have been showing different numbers for my annual and sick leave that doesn't add up. I know that something isn't right about the whole paystub and when asked to go to the business office they tell us we have to go through the chain of command to get it handled. I as a staff person have every right to find out about my paystub and anything that involves my personnel file there are alot of things that are going wrong in the program but everyone is scared to speak up because they are afraid of losing their jobs."
01:18 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 04, 2003

>> Big Fish in Wee Pond

[ Fools ]

myrmayd shares with us the dark side of fools in the non-profit world...

"I worked at a non-profit right out of college. We were trying to raise money for the arts, so we could expose people to the arts, be philanthropic, etc, etc.

The 'Little Woman,' as we called her, was my boss. At any rate, this was during the last recession, and the company was having a hard time raising funds. People in general were having a hard time raising any sort of money-- even for themselves. Hence, a movement was afoot in that city to raise the minimum wage to the princely sum of $7/hour. It should also be stated (just because it's interesting) that she was so incompetant with computers that she, the BOSS, was locked out of the majority of the systems at work-- because she'd gone in and done damage so many times. At any rate, she came in one morning to announce that, as she was jetting to work as a non-profit fundraise, that she saw people picketting outside the mayor's office in support of the wage hike. They were in her way, so she flipped them off. Her excuse? 'Well, they were in my way, and anyway, they don't understand just what that enormous hike might do to the city!'

Nice."
01:24 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> Getting your paycheck

[ Work ]

DragonFox lets it be know to fill out your timesheets, because you might not get paid...

"Isn't getting paid important? You would think so! I have one employee who, every pay period, I have to track down for her hours (they are submitted manually). I typed up a memo on January 22nd that detailed what days payroll is called in - she still hasn't understood that this means get your hours to me in a timely manner. I swear next time I will not pay her and we'll see how she responds then!"
01:16 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 03, 2003

>> Is denial a practical work ethic?

[ Boss ]

Contempt4TheSheople definitely lets loose some steam on an experience he had. Don't worry Contempt4TheSheople... you don't owe us anything... I am just glad ya got out for people to read and enjoy...

"I enjoy (the money) doing work on my own time for various different people, small businesses etc... I met a person by reference and agreed to take part in setting up a small office (network environment) that she had contracted. She instructed me to research price, availability and configuration for most of the network hardware, software etc... and to submit an itemized list to her which she would in turn submit to her client. I asked when she needed the list that I would prepare (this was on a Friday). She said "as long as you have it to me by Sunday evening that will be fine". I double checked at the end of the conversation about the deadline. "Sunday evening will be fine," she confirmed. I immediately started the project and was finished about five to six hours later (boast). I considered calling her the next morning (Saturday) but resisted knowing she had a family and didn't want to disturb her weekend time. Sunday evening I called and humbly (BS) mentioned that I had finished it Friday night, but wait,.....!?!

Something about her tone of voice wasn't right,......

"The client expected me to submit the list Saturday and came by my house to get it" she said. But something still wasn't right. What was it? And then it hit me,... Her tone of voice implied blame and tardiness was what she hinted. I calmly said, "Well we did agree on tonight as the deadline, correct?".....

"Don't worry about it" She arrogantly cackled.

Did she just say, "don't worry about it"??? I thought to myself.

Did we or did we not agree on tonight? I said with embarrassment. My composure and confidence gushing out of me.

"Don't worry about it"... I laughed thinking she must be joking.

(laughing) You remember, we just spoke the night before last. Remember, I confirmed the deadline by saying, "Sunday night"? you said, "That would be fine".

Yep she says it again.... "Don't worry about it".

That was my green light.... Listen, I'm not worried about anything other than the sorry condition of your brain output! (I am accelerating past yelling at this point) How have you survived in business this long?!? Better yet,....how have you survived LIFE this long,....do you even exist or am I conversing with body tissue and a spark?!? She threw a tantrum (very similar to a toddler) and hung up........sigh. It still disturbs me to think she's out there somewhere. LOL!

Hope this doesn't read -YAWN- to slow for everyone. BTW, what do I owe you?"
01:21 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> "The Customer Is NEVER Right"

[ Rant ]

psychoman364 let loose a rant that is more about dealing with a fool rather than working with one but still is entertaining. Always interesting to see how people manipulate the system for some added savings. Its probably why I love PlanetFeedback so much...

"I used to work in a K-mart. A lot they used to put me on aisle duty. Anyway, there was this gey who came in and asked for a drill set. I showed him some sets and he picked out one. he went up to the registers and the lines are HUGE, at least 20 people per line. i opened up a register , and this guy came up. He saw the price, $69.99. And he went insane.

He claimed to have seen a Walmart ad for the SAME SET for only $49.99. So I said we don't honor competitors prices. And he ranted and raved about the price difference, about how we should sell it for their price. Five minutes later i showed him the walmart website which listed the drill set as $79.99. He got furious, claimed it was fake, and offered to use a computer to show me.

Five minutes later he was screaming it was a sale. Five minutes after that he said it was 3 days ago. Five minutes later it was 2 weeks ago. Well, 'the customer is always right', so i had to 'agree' wioth him, but stated company rules, he ranted, raved, screamed, cursed, yelled, and made a huge scene.

We had to kick him out of the store."
01:16 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 02, 2003

>> Great Putrid One

[ Boss ]

An Anonymous submission comes in telling us about a foolish boss that doesn't realize it... maybe someone should tell him...

"One of the worst things about our boss is that he smells. Bad doesn't even begin to describe it.

It was so awful last summer, that half of the people in our department had candles strategically placed throughout their cubicles to try and mask the odor that would waft out from his office.

We have a small department, so no one knows what to do or how to cope with it. No one wants to be the one to suffer his wrath!"
01:24 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> The worst seat

[ Fools ]

Printer Expert writes of a funny interaction... haven't we all had something like this?

"Does anyone else sit near a community printer?

Can someone explain to me why people think since I sit next to the printer, I have all the printer answers. It happens every day but today was a really good one.

Me: (Minding my own business)
Fool: It's making printy noises (yes, printy) but nothing is coming out.
Me: Huh?
Fool: Oh here it comes now."
01:12 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

August 01, 2003

>> Backup, backup, who has the backup?

[ Rant ]

Halleyscomet writes about something I am sure is going on at many offices. The infamous backup routine... or lack thereof by the fools that usually are left with that responsibility...

"My company does continuing education over the Internet. 90% of all activity in the system takes place in October, November and December due to calendar year regulatory requirements. Every year, the servers die because we were budgeted for average year round traffic and not peak traffic. As a result, we lose 30% to 50% of the client base every year. Fortunately, the sales staff doesn't slack off, so we've continued to grow despite the problems.

Average traffic is based on what happens on the system during the Summer, which is the deadest of dead times.

Last year we had a massive spike in sales. The dead time traffic suddenly spiked to the server killing levels we normally see at the end of the year. Since students could no longer get into the system, we finally got the budget and approval for an upgrade.

MIS works through the weekend to get the upgrade in place. My last task before I'm locked out of the admin account is to spec out a backup strategy that will be implemented by the network admin.

A year passes. The network admin is on vacation when our web server dies. The web server contains all the custom graphics, Flash, PDFs and Office documents clients use in their custom courseware, about 24 gigs overall. Unconcerned by the down server, I ask where the backups are.

No backups can be found.

We call the Network admin while he's on vacation, and he says he doesn't know of any recent backups, but there might be one that's "Four or five weeks old lying around someplace."

I swap parts out of the web server, and using an emergency Linux install manage to get the 24 gigs of data onto an IDE drive. Thanks to long ours we manage to get the server live again by the end of the weekend. I point out to my bosses that we almost lost ALL of the custom courseware our clients had developed, as well as the last year's worth of work for our own courses.

What happens? I get a $50 American Express check.

What happens to the Network admin who never did a single backup?

Nothing happens. He's not reprimanded, chastised or chewed out. He's not fired or otherwise punished.

And the servers still aren't being backed up."
01:20 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> Starring the Boss, as unnecessary accesory to the operation

[ Boss ]

Medusa shares with us a story of pain in the retail world...

"I used to work in the men's department of a major department store. Our regular manager had been out for a while, so everyday, one of the other department managers would cover. We were all aware of the chaos that ensued when we were placed under the care of the children's department manager.

One particularly busy day, there was a shortage of people in my department, but we all managed to split up the work on our own, and go about our business. Along comes the 'boss' and gives each person a completely different and irrelavant task. He also spent half the day chasing down another fellow employee (let's call him Eric) who had been running around, doing things for customers. (The 'boss' thought he was just hanging out idly somewhere.) Everytime the 'boss' saw me, he gave me a new task to do (even though I wasn't finished what I was currently working on) and asked me if I had seen Eric...and if I did see him, to tell him he was in big trouble.

By the end of the night, I had been assigned practically the entire department and Eric had gone home because he couldn't deal with the stupidity of the 'boss.' From that day on, nobody ever took this manager seriously. And what's more...everytime I went to the breakroom, there he was, lounging around, not doing his job."
01:13 AM - Posted by Disgruntled