>> Why wax a camaflouged jeep?

[ Boss ]

Retired writes to us from the inside of our military. Where even there stupidity can lie just like at the office...

"Not too long ago, just before I retired, I found two 2-stripers waxing a camo'd jeep. When I told them to stop, they looked disgusted and told me they had already told their Lt. it was dumb, but he ordered them to do it anyway, go argue with him. (I'm a combat vet, a senior Sgt.)

When I got the the Lt., said that he wanted the "best looking jeeps in the deployment!" When I pointed out to him that waxing camo paint made it easier to spot and defeated the whole purpose behing painting it, he got real indignant and said that he wanted the colonel to be "proud of his unit."

I had to go to this same colonel, tell him the story, and then watch him get mad at the Lt. for being such a dumb***.

He had to explain to the Lt. (in small words) that the camo paint was designed to NOT reflect light, and to blend in with the surrounding countryside, etc.

6 months later the Lt. was promoted and transferred to a special "plans and readiness" unit.

Moral: If you're dumb enough, they promote you just to get rid of you!"
01:04 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 30, 2003

>> Surprise!

[ Fools ]

Spoilsport writes...

"There is a girl at the office who wanted to have a surprise birthday party for a fellow coworker.

So she organizes it, gets the cake, the works.

She then emails the companies general 'To All' email, which includes the coworker whose birthday it is, saying meet in the cafeteria for a SURPRISE birthday party.

An hour later she tried to recall the message.

Needless to say, he wasn't surprised. Yet, I still wonder to this day who broke it to her about her flub. Since I know for sure she wasn't smart enough to realize that on her own.

PS - The cake sucked too..."
01:23 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> I can't remember everything

[ Boss ]

diepunkdie writes to us a rather honest view of himself. At least he is taking the initiative to remember things but of course foolish bosses are always so damn nosy. So initiative is not enough at times...

"I've been working for a small town grocery store for two years. Recently I was promoted to a department manager, ie I have more responsiblity than I can handle most of the time. It's aggresive and non-stop until I clock out. I get interupted constantly, I have to stop, do what I got interupted for, then continue the project I was working on.

I've never had a really strong memory so one of the ways I keep tabs on things I'm asked to do is take notes. I keep a thick pocket size notebook with me at all times to write down anything I have to remember to do, but most likely wouldn't. And I'm not an organized person so old notes fill the first quarter of the notebook. An example of a note: if my boss asked me to do something Friday and it was only Tuesday I would write it down in the notebook or forget and hang myself.

One day I wasn't very on top of everything. Things just go wrong sometimes, really wrong, and because it's my department it is my fault. After I was scolded for letting things slip I gather my tail between my legs and pushed myself harder to make things right. Later that afternoon I left my notebook on my desk because I was going to lunch time and I don't need my notebook to remember how to order food or feed myself. When I came back form lunch the boss was looking threw my notebook with an eye cocked waiting for my return.

"Is this yours?" she asks.

"Yep," I say.

Then she points to a note I left in big red ink reminding me to do a very important job, it was circled, and read "Do it TODAY!" Then she looks straight into my eyes and barks, "Didn't I ask you to do this a week ago?!"

And I said, "Yep. And it's been done for a week now."

Apperantly that was the wrong response. And I'm not supose to leave MY notes like this one in places where SHE can read them. She wanted me to be very clear on that and that if it ever happened again I would be written up. If I didn't like rolling around naked in bills so much I would have thrown in the towel."
01:13 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 29, 2003

>> Apprentices, why do we bother?

[ Fools ]

IT guy writes us about the problems with the learning curve when its a fool that is learning...

"Ok, I'm an IT specialist and web designer at a real estate company, since I am the only IT devoted worker everything computer related that goes wrong is linked back to me, regardless of the cause.

Anyways, we have a new girl doing an apprenticeship. She was under my teaching for the day, so I got her to enter properties for archiving on the computer system by address. Simple, look at the file and enter it into the system. 10 minutes later I come back and she says "Why are there so many of them at the same address?" As it turns out she read the wrong part of the form and was entering our office address instead of the property address, even after half an hour of clear instruction from me. This managed to set us back a long way and as usual I was left with the blame. I'm never working with an apprentice again."
01:16 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> Never mind the work environment...

[ Rant ]

Unemployable Student writes to us a short story from outside the regular working world... the student world to be exact with foolish parents! Ok so its not really a work story but you do know parents are just as idiotic. Rant away my friend...

"A 'short' story that shows you how that, even when you're not working, fools can make your life unpleasant for no reason.

Well, I randomly surfed across this site, and if only some of these stories didn't remind me of stuff that happened with me and my mother about an hour ago... and has repeated often over the last few weeks.

So I'm here, doing crappy fill-in work such as delivering residential phone books (long, laborious days, sub-minimum wage) whilst applying for jobs right left and centre. A faxed application form that I requested yesterday starts coming in (home faxes rock) as I'm back to load up more suspension-destroying packs of books into my worn-out car, so I give it a little look over. Mother dearest happens to have come back at about the same time. The cover sheet says that the information has also been emailed to me...

In almost the same breath, mum offers to help deliver some books for me for a couple hours, asks me to write down some suitable routes which aren't too taxing, and tells me to ignore all the phone book stuff to go and deal with the email because the form will be much more readable. I duly follow that final and, one must assume, overriding instruction. Up the stairs to the PC.

As I'm sitting there composing a brief little thank-you response to the giant-attachment mail, guess who comes in and tries to start talking to me about the phone books I'm supposedly ignoring for now. I ask if it could wait two minutes while I write the reply as I can't think about that and type something else at the same time. My following of her instructions, of course, offends her, and an argument erupts, with me mainly on the defensive... It ends up downstairs, with me now ignoring the much more important application form and doling out streets to her (or, trying to, as she continues to rant and steal my attention) - which is something that really, considering her college education, years in a teaching profession and all, you would expect she could do herself anyway.

The shouting and complaining about how I have an attitude problem and keep getting at her continue, until I remind her of what she asked me to do and how I complied with that, to which there is a sudden silence and a dirty look. I give her the sheet with the hastily scrawled addresses on, express my deep gratitude at the help she is so freely giving (i at no time asked 'can you help me with these'. ever.), and announce my intention to go continue with the email.

Then the stuff about how 'we don't really get on, you and I, do we?' starts. And all I can do is stand there and slowly edge towards the stairs, contemplating the foolishness (yes, i now have that word to use) of someone who can start an argument out of nothing at all and then complain that the other person has a bad attitude and doesn't get on very well.

Consider that, as I said, something like this happens at least once a week (which makes me doubt it's PMS, unless her.. um.. 'cycle' is waaaaay out of whack), out of nothing, when I'm just trying to get on with things I either need to do or have been asked to. She's now got a half-teaching, half-managerial position at her school, and I feel for her subordinates... but at least they're getting paid for it.

Maybe if I ever land one of these biomed jobs I can avoid a lot of this happening. Because hey, it's a lot easier to walk out on a fool at work, or stay late to avoid it at home, than the other way around. And one sweet, glorious day, I can gather enough money together to put a couple months rent down on my own apartment and get the hell out of dodge... before I end up smashing something expensive at the frustration held in from arguing cooly, not shouting back in equal force."
01:15 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 28, 2003

>> Irony Pervaids All

[ Boss ]

King of Irony writes in search of true leadership from a boss... but instead has a fool in charge...

"I have been 'on the bench' so to speak for a while now. I have long since gotten tired of creating my own projects and doing stupid work. I have gotten to the point where a conversation with my manager is in serious order. So, I scheduled a meeting with my manager at 9:00 am to discuss the fact that I have absolutely nothing to do.

I stopped by at 9:00 to discover someone else sitting in his office in a meeting. He saw me and said, 'let me call you in a couple of minutes.' At 11:00 am, I finally gave up and went to lunch early.

Is there anything more ironic than a meeting about not having anything to do being blown off by your manager? To think that he could possibly be that busy and his staff is this damn bored means something is sincerely wrong with someone's ability to delegate. I will enjoy my extra long lunch."
01:11 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> Too Many Chiefs Who Screw Up and Move Up

[ Boss ]

LittleIndian writes to us from the inside of a Fortune 100 company and the fools that are exist there as well... you cannot escape them!

"We had two employees at this office who screwed up their accounts (as manager and as technical advisor) so badly that they were promoted to director and manager respectively over another group. Well, they managed to completely lose that account, so now they're back here in this office where there's no money for people who actually do IT support. Since they weren't RIFfed out, company policy prohibits reducing their salaries. Therefore, they're making about twice what any call taker makes here. We're already below the staffing level we need to answer calls within contracted Average Speed of Answer.

This is how this unnamed Fortune 100 company that has a patent on SCSI handles cutbacks. We had two employees at this office who screwed up their accounts (as manager and as technical advisor) so badly that they were promoted to director and manager respectively over another group. Well, they managed to completely lose that account, so now they're back here in this office where there's no money for people who actually do IT support. Since they weren't RIFfed out, company policy prohibits reducing their salaries. Therefore, they're making about twice what any call taker makes here. We're already below the staffing level we need to answer calls within contracted Average Speed of Answer. This is how this unnamed Fortune 100 company that has a patent on SCSI handles cutbacks."
01:03 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 27, 2003

>> ?

[ Fools ]

666 writes...

"I would like to know the meaning of an email that is forwarded by a coworker that only has '?' in the body?

Does this mean I'm supposed to answer it?

Does this mean the person is just clueless on life?

I'm gonna do what my gut tells me and just delete it."
01:12 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> Creative Director that can't tell the difference

[ Boss ]

LostTime writes us about the confusion that occurs with the obvious for fools...

"I was handed PSD's for a project and hand to actually sit down with the creative director and show him why what he gave me didn't match with the current site. He actually kept telling me that it was the same and he couldn't see a difference.

In the end I won...it only wasted 20 minutes of my life."
01:05 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 26, 2003

>> I leerned gud math in manajer skool

[ Boss ]

Anonymous wrote perhaps the most encouraging submission yet. So before all of you give up dealing with the fools on the job read here and you can see that you can escape them... and sometimes they even help remind you. Such as in this story...

"Short but sweet, I was reprimanded on paper by my direct superior at a former employer of mine in which she stated '...he performs 30% of his duties while I do other 80%...' besides being a bold faced lie to ingratiate herself to her superiors AND to discount the rumors of our clients preferring my services to hers, she apparently never learned how to add for 30% and 80% equals 110% as far as I knew, I guess we were so efficient that we were actually resolving problems BEFORE they occurred!!!...then she wanted me to sign it. I told her I would think about it, went home, wrote my letter of resignation, came back the next morning and went to the V.P. of human resources to whom I presented my letter along with a copy of hers, I had highlighted and circled her mathematical error and stated 'I feel I cannot work under an idiot'...I walked.

The funny thing is she had fired my predecessor for the same suspected reason, jealousy of performance, and he had actually tried to warn me about her, I just thought he was a disgruntled exiting employee, how I wish I had heeded his warning. One good thought is knowing she had to hire a third replacement in as many years for the one employee she's trusted to manage, she'll look like the total idiot she is when that employee tires of her BS and gets fired or quits.

This was in 1999, since leaving I now manage 30 employees at a fortune 100 company providing service to 40,000+ staff.

Best favor she ever did for me was that idiotic mathematical mistake."
01:22 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> I Kinda Feel Bad

[ Rant ]

abcd sends us a lil rant (and I have heard many other stories similar to this)...

"All these people are out of work and I can sit here and play an entire 18 holes of computer mini golf on my computer in an open cube.... and nobody gives a shit.

Not only do I work for fools, my job is a joke!"
01:16 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> Working With Idiots Can Kill You!

[ Other ]

Well thank you to the anonymous person who sent me this wonderful link to this hilarious article. It is dated November 21, 2002 so it looks like this site is behind schedule in terms of reporting hahaha. Yet, valid study or not, if the correction fluid story is even remotely true in the article I no doubt would have lost my mind. Here is the full text:

Working With Idiots Can Kill You!
Thursday November 21, 2002
By KATE McCLARE

STOCKHOLM -- Idiots in the office are just as hazardous to your health as cigarettes, caffeine or greasy food, an eye-opening new study reveals. In fact, those dopes can kill you!

Stress is one of the top causes of heart attacks -- and working with stupid people on a daily basis is one of the deadliest forms of stress, according to researchers at Sweden's Lindbergh University Medical Center.

The author of the study, Dr. Dagmar Andersson, says her team studied 500 heart attack patients, and were puzzled to find 62 percent had relatively few of the physical risk factors commonly blamed for heart attacks.

"Then we questioned them about lifestyle habits, and almost all of these low-risk patients told us they worked with people so stupid they can barely find their way from the parking lot to their office. And their heart attack came less than 12 hours after having a major confrontation with one of these oafs.

"One woman had to be rushed to the hospital after her assistant shredded important company tax documents instead of copying them. A man told us he collapsed right at his desk because the woman at the next cubicle kept asking him for correction fluid -- for her computer monitor.

"You can cut back on smoking or improve your diet," Dr. Andersson says, "but most people have very poor coping skills when it comes to stupidity -- they feel there's nothing they can do about it, so they just internalize their frustration until they finally explode."

Stupid co-workers can also double or triple someone's work load, she explains. "Many of our subjects feel sorry for the drooling idiots they work with, so they try to cover for them by fixing their mistakes. One poor woman spent a week rebuilding client records because a clerk put them all in the 'recycle bin' of her computer and then emptied it -- she thought it meant the records would be recycled and used again."

SOURCE

UPDATE: Here is a user submission of the actual article.

12:12 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 25, 2003

>> Do they understand the laws of Physics

[ Rant ]

Anonymous writes in a question to ponder about his roommate and how his fool bosses affect him. I also believe the flux capacitor is involved somehow in the answer.

"OK... this is not a rant about my story directly but still it affects me almost as much as him. My roomate works on this job where he has to commute about 50 minutes to 1 hour everyday to work on a project. The project starts at 8 a.m. every morning. And every morning around 7:15 his boss calls to tell him about a change in the meeting place, or that it has been canceled for the day. My roomate is of course never around to answer the phone calls because if he was that would make him late every day. So everyday they call and are suprised that he is not still at home. So everyday I have to listen to these morons.

I mean do they think he can somehow bend time and make it to work faster then anyone else or maybe they just honestly expect him to be late for work each and every day."
01:24 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> Frustration...

[ Rant ]

Kitty writes to us a rant more than a full on fool story and those are just as good so here you are a soapbox for yourself... hopefully you can stay focused at your young age because there are many more fools ahead to come in your life... trust me!

"Let me start by stating I am working as a live-in nanny. I work here during the summer, and the family and I know each other pretty well. And it's not that I don't like them, but sometimes... grrr...

The girl I'm caring for is 12, and taller than I am. At that age, you feel superior according to height. The girl-- let's call her Jane-- is very messy. I'm trying to help her realize how easy it is to just pick up your trash and carry it to the kitchen whenever she has to get up anyway. And she loses her shoes all the time. I found one under the couch, along with a juice box. I'm not her mom, so it's not my place to lecture, but I do give her a scolding and some advice.

So, in short, I am taking care of an irresponsible child. Then, I also take care of the major household chores. I vacuum and sweep this very large house 3 times a week because of the hair dogs. I prepare breakfast and cook lunch for two, and usually dinner for 3 daily. Jane's mom has had to stay at work late very often. Jane's mom expects me to keep Jane entertained and prepare 'outings' during the day. I keep very busy to begin with. It's a 24/7 job. Then the mom complains that I don't stop to buy groceries. She never makes out a list, nor does she provide any funding. (I get payed at the end of the summer.) I'm vegetarian, so groceries that appeal to me will not appeal to them, so I need a list!

I'm a very polite and patient girl, on the outside, and that's why they keep inviting me back to this job. I do my job, but I feel so impotent when no one else does theirs! Plus, Jane is going through her rebelious stage with her parents... I love taking care of this kid, I like kids in general, but I'm 17, myself. I'm not a parent, nor am I prepared to be one, but Jane's mom seems to expect me to pick up all her slack."
01:14 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 24, 2003

>> Boss Key Fades...

[ Other ]

Ok people at the request of one incredibly smart anonymous user... I made the boss key label actually fade after a couple of seconds that way your boss doesnt actually read that image as well. So just click on the old unhappy face and you are taken to a blank page. To go back just click anywhere in the middle and you go back to the page you were just back at.

Keep the submissions coming!!!
08:27 PM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> Yes, but what would they call it?

[ Work ]

AndyMan writes in a general work critique of two bosses trying to combine some brainpower...

"We're finally updating to version 2 of our in-house engineering software. We've been using version 1.3, although the rest of the company uses the current version. No doubt this is responsible for our common $10-25,000 variances.

Boss A: They (the in-house engineering software developers) said we should use version 2.01, instead of 2.0

Boss B: 2.01?! Why don't they just fix all the bugs in 2 first?"
01:30 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> My Lesbian Boss, Oh Wait! You're Straight?!?!

[ Boss ]

BLAZE writes us about a lil one way street office romance with a twist...

"My boss which is an understatment, she couldn't manage my arse! ... AnyHoo! I knew that she had a crush on me but I stayed away, now don't think I'm a homophobe cuz I'm gay to, but my boss had the worst breath in the world this is the single most reason I stay away, she could singe your eyebrows.

She calles me into her office to "talk" to me about a patient, when she leans over to try to kiss me. WELL! I back up told her she needed a TIC-TAC and walked out laughing. Now, I know this could have been hurtfull to her but seeing as how she is so straight and dating a male nurse and she does have the power to FIRE me I just kept it to my self. OR DID I?!?!"
01:19 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 23, 2003

>> A Clean Desk Is A Productive Desk

[ Boss ]

eyeno shares with us one that I myself have experienced as well but it wasn't the boss it was a guest... still I just never understood why anyone would think an office is more productive with empty desks?

"This happened some years ago but the mentality is still present.

I work for a large multi-national firm that is based in Switzerland. Once a year the Chairman of the Board who is also the last living member of the family who started the company would visit his Canadian fifedom. For some bizarre reason, our office manager decided that the best way to impress the grand poobah was to make sure that every scrap of paper except one was hidden leaving us with a clean efficient work surface.

The only problem was that we never exactly knew when the King would arrive. So there we were, about 30 drones grabbing one piece of paper from our drawer, working with it until completed and then filing it in another drawer, grab another and so on and so on.....

This went on for 8 hours and the Lord and Master never did show up.

Within 5 days, almost all of us got called on the carpet for being unproductive that week.

**sigh**"
01:14 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> Press ANY Key to continue...

[ Fools ]

Jack Daniels writes us from tech support with a lil ribbing of a fellow foolish coworker. Don't we all have at least one of these guys in the office? I believe its a requirement of a company to have at least one fool in there... and as my motto goes about fools: "Once a Fool... Always a Fool"... ok now on to the story...

"I work with a guy who has become the laughing stock of my department, as well as the three neighboring departments. We all work in some form of Technical Support. Our department deals mainly with Point-of-Sale Touch Screen cash registers. Carl, as he shall be known, sits in the cubicle next to mine.

One day last week I over heard him talking to a customer about her computer rebooting. He asked her "What does it say on the screen?" and she said something to the effect of "Press ANY Key to continue." Being the fool he is, he asks her, "Have you tried pressing a key?" To which she replied, "I can't. I don't have a keyboard." His response is, "Oh, that's right, you have a touch screen moniter. Well, go ahead and power the computer off for about 30 seconds and then power it back on." After about a minute of silence, I hear him ask, "What does it say on the screen now?" Her answer was something along the lines of "Press Space Bar to continue." With out missing a beat, Carl tells her, "Go ahead and press the space bar so your computer will finish booting up." After a few seconds of dead air, I heard him ask the customer to hold while he send a field tech to her location to fix her problem.

I could have let this slide as a fluke had it only happened once or twice, but the reason I am writing about it now is because he just did it again tonight ... not once, but TWICE!!! Some people never learn!"
01:12 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 22, 2003

>> Uber-boss is an uber-idiot!

[ Boss ]

Petal writes in about her paranoid Boss. I am sure we all know someone with a similar computer malfunction of the brain.

"I work for a man who is attractive, wealthy, friendly and intelligent - at least he appears to be intelligent up until you witness him using a pc! We've all heard of people who have germ-phobias, right? Well my boss has a cyber-germ-phobia!!

At least once each week for the last four weeks we have had to call in an outside IT guy to "fix the damage done by viruses". Those "viruses" are actually .dll files. He spends hours "chasing down viruses" on his pc and deleting them! He won't use anti-virus software because he thinks the anti-virus software companies are in cahoots with the virus software companies (yes, he thinks there really are companies out there that make money solely by making computer viruses!) and he refuses to make them rich by using their programs. He'd much rather keep right on deleting the .dll files himself so he can rest in the knowledge that his pc is completely virus free!

Myself and my colleagues have tried to tell him .dll files aren't viruses at all but he thinks we're stupid and he tries to encourage us to find viruses on our own pcs! The IT guys charge an average of $250.00 each time they've come in to reinstall all of the programs. I don't know how much more I can take..."
01:14 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> Desktop Admin... who needs a DRINK!

[ Rant ]

McDisGruntled (no relation to me Disgruntled Worker although I think all my readers here are somewhat disgruntled) gets a bunch of frustration off her chest with this story...

"We have a computer desktop admin here and I can't tell you how many times I have TRIED to keep it light (joke around) with this guy, he never gets it. Only God knows how this guy has a girlfriend... ok, now on to the story.

It happened yesterday. He (in his early 30's keep in mind) sends out an email to some of us (notorius for good-natured ribbing of people) and tells us that his Toyota Tercel (prized car) was hit by someone at his townhome complex and that THIS is the VERY reason he parks sideways at work (there is enough room for that, so no worries) and do we know a good body shop?

OK... fine. So, the ribbing begins. We were going back and forth with GOOD NATURED comments. Well, what do you know, he takes us SERIOUSLY and is getting MAD. OMG... we can't do anything with this guy. So I let him know that usually people do this when they like you. Nevermind that, he's still pissed off. Also, keep in mind, this guy (who has less testosterone than me... a WOMAN) just bought a scooter. I can't even tell you how UN-masculine this jerk-off is. So, it's almost like he's embarrassed about it.

So anyway, the email string is going on and on... becoming fairly long. Also, this guy is known for having the corporate policy on his desktop and rapid-firing it to anyone who may be breaking it (see kiss-ass). So, I commented (jokingly) "isn't this considered a long email string? I think I'm going to rapid-fire the corp. policy off to all of you..." Kay, THIS pisses him off. So he emails all of us "END OF THE LINE, THIS IS DONE." Basically getting the last word in... which he is famous for. Geez... such the whiner. So I respond, "Just so ya know...what we have is called a sense of HUMOR" and with "Wow, I would respond to that and tell you to lighten up, then say sorry if you weren't in the state of mind to handle a good-natured ribbing today. But I fear retribution. I apologize."

This is his response: "The hypocracy in your emails is soo thick I have to dig myself out. As usual the blame is in someone else as it always is with you. That's sad. You should look internally someday at this. Telling me to 'lighten up' probably won't go as far as seeing you went too far in your 'good natured' ribbing. In the end I don't care. No need to send any more emails. Just sit there and be right. It's what you do best."

Now was THAT needed? We were having a good-natured ribbing! THATS ALL!!! LOL... so anyway, I prolly pushed him too far, but my lord... this guy had someone dent his PLASTIC bumper and he is all in a tizzy about it. GET A LIFE YOU FRIGGIN' LOSER MOMMAS BOY!!!!!!!!! phew..."
01:13 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 21, 2003

>> Priorities

[ Boss ]

Chuck writes us about some stupidity in the military.

"I am in the military, an organization which highly encourages people to attend college in their free time. A few months ago I asked to take a college course during lunchtime, as I had been allowed to take lunch classes before. My lunch is normally 12:00 to 1:00. The class was from 11:30 to 1:00, three days a week. When I asked to take the class I volunteered to come in an hour early every day, even non-school days, and not to eat lunch those days. I would lose a total of 1 and a half hours of work time each week, and add a total of 5 hours. The office would have an additional 3 and a half hours of my time if they let me take the class. I explained it very clearly but the boss who gets to make that decision must no be good at math because he was concerned that I would be out of the office too much. Finally 2 weeks into the 6 week long class, my request was reluctantly approved.

But the kick in the gut came the week after I finished the class and this same boss announced that all military employees would be participating in a mandatory lunchtime volleyball league which would cost him 1 and a half hours of work EACH DAY FROM EVERY SINGLE EMPLOYEE.

I got treated like dirt for giving the office extra work in order to further my education, so I refused to attend the volleyball. Nobody ever asked why I never showed up."
01:26 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> Boss + Sex = FIRED!!

[ Boss ]

Carrie writes us quite a steamy fool story yet controversial. I think you can sue but I am no lawyer. Does anyone have some advice for Carrie? Though, it still sucks to hear you lost your job over this. I wonder what the stats are on "office sex" anyways? Here is her story...

"Ok... Well, I'm working for let's just say one of the biggest company's in the country. My boss Harry (madeup name), asked me to come into his office, about two weeks ago to go over some important information about a rival company. While we were going over files, he leaned over and said "look at this one" and he was so close, I could hardly beleive this was happening I knew he was totaly hitting on me!!

My boss obviousley has liked me, but I never thought it would be anything serious. So I ignored it and stood up and took the folder acting like i was reading it over. He stood up and came behind me and put his arms around my waist and started seductively kissing my neck!! Ok, I have to admit, my boss IS very attractive, but still, it's my boss. So while i was thinking if i shold have sex with him, or not, I just thought what tha hell, it only happens once with my boss (maybe). So i dropped the folder, whirled around and jumped on top of him and we started to french kiss, etc...

He pushed me on top of this couch in his office and started pulling up my skirt! I was caught up in the moment so I flipped over so I was on top, and started unzipping his pants, by that time: I was on top, his pants were down to his knees, and my skirt was up... high. So we are totaly into it, I get a condom from his drawer and start putting it on him, when all of a sudden, HALF OF MY CO WORKERS WALK IN!!!!!

They all lokk at us, and my boss looks over and pushes me off of him and says, "Good god Carrie! Get off me!" and they totaly believed that I had hit on my boss!!!!!! I looked and said, "What?? What is this?? I finaly agreed, I know that you've been hitting on me!! All this time... then you say you didn't?!?!" He acted like he hated me being on top of him, and while my coworkers are still completely amazed that all this is happening and my boss and I are arguing. "Carrie you're FIRED!"

So basicly I got fired because of my boss... he's a fool, but I guess I am too for agreeing to sleep with him."
01:18 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 20, 2003

>> Boss poops his pants

[ Boss ]

irisheyes writes us one of those stories you only wish you could have witnessed for the mere fact of just laughing your ass off!

"Bossman, who I often suspect of wearing his wife's panties and I have therefore dubbed 'Panty Man'. Like to walk into worker's desk space and fart. Klassy.

One day he walks into coworker's space and let's one rip.

Unfortunately for Panty Man, some solids came out too. He spent an hour walking around trying to hide his brown-stained pants from everyone, but since no one could stop laughing, he had to leave the office for the day."
01:24 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> They're gonna stop me from quitting!

[ Fools ]

Trapped-in-CH shares the story of his rather foolish friend... oh boy do I have a few of these guys around me too... nice people but a lil slow up in the head.

"A friend of mine (who's still a friend despite being a bit of a fool sometimes) is planning on leaving the company.

At the same time, the company is announcing layoffs.

He asks me if he should go and 'offer' to be part of the layoffs so he can get UI. He's still gonna quit no matter what he says. But I can't convince him to go and make the offer. I tried and tried and tried.

He's worried they're gonna stop him from quitting."
01:22 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 19, 2003

>> Underqualified would be a compliment

[ Fools ]

c6 writes another short but sweet submission for the tech inclined fool haters this weekend...

"I got an email asking if we could use the attached files for a website. The attached files were .cda datafiles for an audio CD. They just copied the tracks out of explorer and wanted to use them."
01:27 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> I work with ...

[ Boss ]

drunk jack writes a short and sweet submission...

"I work with Danny Bonaduce... what more do I have to say."
01:21 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 18, 2003

>> Sign Here For The Spare Part

[ Boss ]

Some other guy writes about his friend who escapes one fool only to find more...

"A buddy works in maintenance for a manufacturing shop and is in charge of keeping the equipment up 24/7. He tells the boss that they had spare bearings for everything EXCEPT one particular expensive bearing. My buddy wants to order this expensive bearing because it takes several days to get it from the supplier. If/when this bearing goes out, the plant is effectively down.

"No way!", says the boss, "I won't sign that purchase order. I don't want to put up that kind of money".

A couple of months later, the bearing fails and the plant is down. They lost more money being down than the cost of the new bearing. The boss wasn't happy with my buddy and tried to blame it on him. My buddy decided to look for work elsewhere so he reminded the boss how he refused to sign the purchase order in the first place. Not long after that, my buddy took a job with another company.

The other company is just as bad..."
12:55 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 17, 2003

>> Shouting for Power

[ Boss ]

Looks like the submissions have been getting heated and more detailed at times. I would say I'm sorry or I feel your pain but damn you know that doesn't help, so venting is the only option.

Fools will always fools.

Woodstock68 writes...

"The Admin type I'm talking about is 3rd from the top in my department. The A/C has been on the blink for several days and he wanted the maintenance supervisor to stop working on the A/C to deliver a package to the local FedEx drop point.

I told the maintenance supervisor to continue working on the A/C and I would deliver the package for him. Off I go and drop it off. Just as I am returning to the building I am called by the Admin who called me on the cell phone and began to rant on and on about me not doing my job. When he finished, I pointed out to him that I was taken away from my assignment to deliver HIS FedEx package for HIM. The choices were obvious to everyone but him;

1. Let the Maintenance Supervisor fix the A/C so everyone will have a cool environment to work in, and let me deliver the stupid package that could have waited until the next day.

2. Wait til next day to deliver the package leaving Maintenance supervisor to fix A/C and me to do my job.

3. Scream and rant on the radio at employees for trying to be in two places at once.

This twit chose option #3, of course.

I guess I will have to post frequently, cause everyday something like this happens. Teamwork, respect and trust are not in the Admin types vocabulary. Shouting and making asses of themselves in public seems to be their supervisory style."
01:04 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 16, 2003

>> At The Movies

[ Boss ]

Well today is a special day for Bly who writes this tale... we figured we'd share it for him to celebrate on this magical day which you will see at the end...

"I currently work for a movie theater that has a large volume of locations on the east coast, but that isn't the point of the story. My boss has been in the movie business for a while, and for the sake of preventing embarassment, I will call her Dede.

Well, Dede is the type of person that does not follow through with anything she says... for example, she will tell employees "I want everyone in front of their registers at all times or I'm going to write you up" and despite people getting out of place, they are never written up.

So, she starts in one day saying how she's going to write people up, and me, already pissed because I have to open (11:30 am) and close (1:00 am) that day, says "Remember that when 7:00 rolls around."

Needless to say, she was pissed. Dede asserts her manager-ship and starts chewing me out up and down, but with every smartass comment she imposes, I present a viable statement.

For the past couple of weeks, she has been under the impression that I have written the main office about the "mishap" and has decided to keep a tight ship by having other employees (the ones that suck up to her) spy and "taddle-tell" on me, and generally screw me over, such as leaving me alone in concessions during, what employees call, the 7:00 rush and the 9:00 rush while at least seven people are standing and watching.

Although they would never admit it, I am one of the most pivotal employees there, typically making the majority of the money in concessions (typically twice as much as the next person does), and one of the more appreciated employees by the patrons.

It's going to be really interesting to see Dede's reaction when I turn in my notice Wednesday... :)"

Good Luck Bly... I hope you escape those Fools!

But, if you happen to find any new ones wherever you go make sure to let us know.
01:07 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 15, 2003

>> All I Ask for is a Post-it!

[ Boss ]

Tackle_Box has a Fool Boss and its pretty severe. Here is his story...

"I was doing some temp work for a health care provider. The head boss, a jokester, was ever so successful at keeping the purse strings tightly closed. I happened to be assigned a cubicle right outside his office.

One day, after dealing with a pile of paperwork, I found I had a pen that had run out of ink, and I also had no post-it's upon which to make notes for other workers who would later be receiving the documents I was working with and which required some sort of special handling/processing.

Alas! There were no supplies to speak of in the "supply room", except for a few sheets of copy paper. Upon return to my cubicle, I cried out in exasperation, "Is it too much to ask for a Post-it??"

The boss heard me and suggested I tear up a piece of paper (I had no scissors) and staple the notes to my documents, as Post-its were pricey these days. "But, that would imply that I need a stapler!" I pointed out (I had no stapler). The boss then suggested I tape the note to my documents. "But, that would imply that I need tape!" I informed the boss (I had no scotch tape, either). Finally, after many moments of silence, the boss suggested I write a note on the document itself. "But, that would imply that I need a pen with ink!" I retorted (remember, there were no new pens in the supply room). The boss finally agreed I was in a pickle and to just "Deal with it." I did just that by forgetting about having to make notations for others handling the same documents and which required special handling instructions.

The next morning, I came into the office and marched to my cubicle. There, sitting next to my old-as-the-hills 15-inch monitor which was connected to a machine running Windows 95(!!!), I found a plain, brown tape dispenser. There was no tape in it. ARRRGGGGH!!! I could hear that the boss was on the phone. He was talking to the copier guy and was trying to talk the guy into giving our company an additional two cent discount on the toner cartridge.

The boss had heard me walk in, and he yelled at me from his desk, "Tackle_Box, I can hear you rolling your eyes out there!" In fact, I was. I was busted. Since then, I've learned to roll my eyes more quietly."
01:30 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 14, 2003

>> The Magic Button

[ Boss ]

Bemused writes... a sad of a tale from the inside a police department,

"I work in an IT Division of a major urban police department.

Recently, we had a new Chief of Police appointed who is not exactly highly regarded by the employees in the department (he comes as a political appointee). As a result, the crime rate has increased and morale is rapidly disappearing.

But that is not unusual; what is amusing is how, one day, this Chief stopped by our office and expressed his anger over how we spent "millions and millions on these new computers" (actually, it was $800,000 five years ago) and then informed us that he should get "anything he wants simply by pushing a button".

A moment of stunned silence. To which I asked, "Sure, no problem Chief; what do you want the button to do?"

The Chief replied, "I don't know; that's your job!"

This man is making well over six figures, drives a nice car and carries a gun. Then again, what do you expect from a guy who wears lifts in his shoes and spends more time standing in front of a mirror while wearing his uniform?"
01:32 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 13, 2003

>> Won't go to the ladies room

[ Fools ]

eve777 writes...

"I have a collegue whose desk is right next to me.

She always says she is unable to use office bathrooms.

So she holds it until she has to cry.

This happens everyday!"
01:21 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 12, 2003

>> Nimrod!

[ Fools ]

Nimrod writes...

"I get an email. Please update A. I update A. I send an email that A is updated.

I get an email, why isn't B updated?

Cuz you didn't tell me to you fucking nimrod."
10:13 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> Logos

[ Other ]

I have had some request for some smaller buttons or logos.

So here you all go.

July 11, 2003

>> Keys to Falsifying Records

[ Boss ]

Janice shared this wonderful and classic story...

"My boss was trying to get me fired so she falsified my attendance records then wrote me up on how bad my attendance records were.

I asked for a copy because I knew for sure I wasn't out as many days as she claims.

Well the morale of the story for all you bosses out there, make sure you don't put an employee down as absent when you rode in the car with them ALL DAY LONG! (I am a sales rep in case you needed clarification)."
01:15 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> Thank You

[ Other ]

Thanks you all for the extremely great emails I have been getting. I am doing my best to keep up with the requests!

I think I have most of them covered, Tell a Fool, Poll, Newsletter, T-Shirts, Bookmark and of course more Submissions!

For any of you that want to drop a line, you can submit a story here or email me with more comments/suggestions/etc here.
12:05 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 10, 2003

>> So which is it?

[ Rant ]

Why Me??? writes of a problem that has plagues us all.
To listen or not listen to what our boss tells us to do.

"A company plant vehicle, a tractor for towing aircraft around the tarmac in a regional port, ran out of gas and the boss was away.

When he gets back and we inform him of the empty fuel tank he then proceeds to enlighten us that we should go to a local Gas Station and put the gas on his account there. Meanwhile this has always been his job.

So surprise surprise he is away again and low and behold he hasn't done his job... No gas!

So I take some cans to the local gas station and put the gas on his account. When he gets back and I gave him the receipt. He then proceeds to rip into me saying that I should never put anything on any account as he is the one that is responsible for the refuelling and that I should only stick to my job and not do his!!!!

So which is it?"

FOOLS! Always amazes me how much bosses love to give us that bit of enlightenment yet still be complete fools. I feel your pain my friend.
06:09 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> Tell a Fool

[ Other ]

Funny how many of you wrote to complain about the lack of a tell a friend feature.

Well its there on the left nav now or click here

Damn... you fools are smarter than me to have forgotten the obvious. HAH!

An extra thank you goes to 'VisualSusan' who wrote of her fool husband snoozing on the job (I will share her plight another day). Yet still found some time to send in some great site comments. Thank you... I hope you got it all fixed!

PS - On the submission form I added a category called 'Comments / Email' for those of you who wanted to get in touch yet not submit a story.
04:55 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

>> MLB Has Fools Too!

[ Fools ]

According to this article, Randall Simon of the Pittsburgh Pirates hit a fan over the head with a baseball bat during what they call the "Sausage Race", a popular fan favorite during the 7th inning.

He must have had beef with the Italian Sausage.

Did he really think there was a load of padding on the head or something?

I honestly would NOT have believed it if it weren't for the following:
PICTURE & VIDEO

This is NOT The Onion. This is sad but oh so REAL!

Here are more articles:
Sportsline.com, ESPN.com, and jsonline.com

I guess brains weren't involved in the job description.
03:38 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 09, 2003

>> I think I can... I think I can...

[ Work ]

I Don't Have An Identity writes...

"I was told to be up at 4am to confirm that an outside vendor completed their project successfully.

I got an email that the project was cancelled AFTER it was supposed to happen.

Ummm?"
01:03 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 08, 2003

>> What do some people's eyes see?

[ Fools ]

Brainless writes...

"So I sent an email with just an URL for someone to review.

They reply asking for the URL.

This is not a joke, I couldn't have made that up."
09:05 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 07, 2003

>> What weighs more? A brain or air?

[ Boss ]

434343 writes...

[Problem]
Boss: We need to plan for a spike in traffic.
Me: How much traffic?
Boss: A lot.
[Solution]
Pretend that conversation never happened.
09:02 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 06, 2003

>> I can be in two places at once

[ Fools ]

Ghost writes...

"I worked from home today (since about 9am, it is currently 5pm) and I got an IM from someone asking how I was home already.

I said I've been home all day.

They said they saw and talked to me today.

Maybe I have powers I don't know about."
08:19 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 05, 2003

>> What the hell is that sad face in the corner?

[ Work ]

That is your very own BOSS KEY.

Click it to leave the site and off to Google.com ya go.

Wouldn't wanna get ya busted while ranting on your coworkers!
11:34 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 04, 2003

>> Happy Fourth of July

[ Rant ]

Happy Fourth to those of you who actually have access to the site!

I'll post your submissions after the holiday.
10:09 AM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 03, 2003

>> Beta!

[ Other ]

Ok last days of getting the blog ready.

I hated the design I was making so I scrapped it all and made it much simpler.

So no fancy graphics, just pure text and the logo.

Might help to get some content up here soon.

Beta officially begins... even with holiday coming up tomorrow.

If you got some story then send it to me to post here.
04:36 PM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 02, 2003

>> Tinkering with format

[ Rant ]

I have no clue how this design needs to look.

I need to get this done so I can get to the point of the site ... QUICK!

Or... I will just get lazy and drop the idea... you know how we all do that.
08:30 PM - Posted by Disgruntled

July 01, 2003

>> Site will launch soon...

[ Other ]

The site launch is coming soon.

I have some great user submissions already. Keep em up.

If you got some story then send it to me to post here.

Boy I did not realize how bad some of you had it and some of you even accidentally found this link I even noticed. We are not even up live yet.
12:53 PM - Posted by Disgruntled